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Funny Jokes
This page is now the funny jokes page. I will post up all jokes here. Please email me some jokes and i will post it up here.
You got more rolls than a bakery. And you touched more cookies than a Keebler elf.
You're so fat, when you grew out of your baby clothes, your parents used them as car covers.
When you went to the Macy's Parade, 30 guys tried to tie ropes to you.
These are courtesy to David Honig. Thank you David.
Why Beer is Better Than Retarded People
Beer doesn't drool.
Beer stains wash out easier than drool.
Beer will wait patiently in the car while you play (football, etc.)
Beer is never late.
You don't have to limit yourself to bisyllabic words in discourse with beer.
Beer doesn't cry if you forget it.
Beer doesn't vote.
Beer never answers your phone.
Beer doesn't work your crossword puzzles in ink.
Beer doesn't demand to watch cartoons.
Beer won't ask loud, embarressing questions in public.
If the head's too big on your beer you can blow it off.
If the head's too small on your beer you can get another.
Beer doesn't have to be sterilized.
If you are retarded, try this:
In an elevator...
When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream 'that's mine'.
Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
Move your desk into the elevator and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
Leave a box in the corner and when someone gets on ask them if they hear something ticking.
Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
Ask, 'Did you feel that?'
Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
When the doors close, announce to the others, 'It's okay, don't panic, they open again.'
Call out 'group hug', and then enforce it.
Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
YO MAMMA'S SO FAT...
she could sell shade.
when she crosses the street, cars look out for her.
people jog around her for exercise.
she gets runs in her jeans.
her blood type is Ragu.
when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.
if she got her shoes shined, she'd have to take his word for it !
she has to put her belt on with a boomerang.
when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party.
she can't even jump to a conclusion.
when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.
when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.
she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.
she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.
I had to take a train and two buses just to get on her good side.
they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.
her nickname is "DAAANG!!"
she has to iron her pants on the driveway.
she's on BOTH sides of the family.
when I yell "Kool-Aid," she comes crashing through the wall.
not even Bill Gates could pay for her lyposuction.
YO MAMMA'S SO OLD...
she owes Jesus $200
YO MAMMA'S SO DUMB
she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gumball to pop out.
she tripped over a cordless phone
she thinks johnny cash is a pay toilet
she thinks quarterback means refund
she wouldn't know where an elevator was going if she had 2 guesses
Thank you everyone who made this site possible. I love you all.
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