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Valkyrie V -The Visitor by Jules
1st Runner Up for Best Round Robin in the 2001 Farscape Fanfic Awards
Part Five of Nine in this Round Robin Series
Valkyrie V -The Visitor, by Jules
Silly Ficlet: “Valkyrie V: The Visitor” by Jules
Disclaimer: They’re not mine, I don’t own ‘em, just please let me use your characters for a little while and I promise to return them as well as they began this ficlet. Thanks in advance.
Disclaimer #2: This disclaimer is not mine. I don’t own it, just usin’ it for a little while. The title Valkyrie ain’t mine either, but what the heck, in for a penny, in for a pound (something else that isn’t mine – frell!)
Location: Gammak Base
Grid Coordinates: CLASSIFIED
Scorpius’ eyes popped open and he sat up in bed, his chest heaving as he fought to regain some measure of control over his breathing. Surely it had all been a bad dream! Glancing to the side, he drew back in horror. No! The Valkyrie really IS there – the magnificent Zavtig, adorning his bed…!
“NO!” roared Scorpy, as he leapt from under the crumpled sheet and stood, nearly naked and panting in the center of his bedchamber. “Lt. Braca!! Come here, NOW!”
Before he could discover that his ‘comms’ were mysteriously non-functional this morning, Scorpius heard what could only be described as a ‘whistle’ from the other side of the room.
“Hey Scorpy! How’ya doin? Looks like you had yourself quite a night.” John Crichton, P.I. lounged against the window, across from Scorpius. He was dressed in chinos and a white T-shirt, an earth-style revolver riding in a shoulder holster across his chest.
Scorpius gritted his teeth and growled: “Not now, John! I have no time for your foolishness…”
John Crichton, P.I. interrupted him casually: “Now, Scorpy, is that any way to greet your new best friend?” He walked over to drape an arm casually around Scorpius’ shoulders. “The way I see it, Scorp. You’re in a real pickle here.”
Scorpius shook his head in bewilderment. In a pickle? In what possible sense could his present condition be construed as being ensconced in a small, cylindrical green vegetable?
JC, P.I. continued: “Yep, old buddy, old pal, you’ve really scorched yer shorts this time.” John laughed. “The lovely lady…” he nodded towards the loudly snoring bulk on Scorpius’ bed, “…has you dancing to Wagner, and you need a way to stop the music.”
Scorpius sputtered: “Stop this right now, John! If you have something to suggest, get on with it!”
John smiled conspiratorially: “Well, it’s not that I can help you, really, but, well I’ve brought a friend. I’m sure you remember her. You shared unity with her, I’ve been told.”
Scorpius’ face dropped to an ashen scowl as a sweet voice wafted across the room.
“Scorpius, Greetings. May the light of the Goddess find you today.”
He looked up to see a radiant blue face smiling beatifically at him from behind pressed palms.
“John has informed me that you are in need of spiritual guidance, so I of course came immediately to offer the succor of my Goddess. I am a twelfth level P’au now…” her smile assumed a cutting edge: “so you needn’t attempt to over power me again.”
Scorpius turned angrily to JC, P.I. “But…but…but she’s dead! The frelling woman died more than half a cycle ago! A Delvian priest we interrogated last weeken blurted it out. How did you…?”
JC, P.I. patted Scorpius’ shoulder patronizingly: “Not to worry, Scorp. I died too, remember? A couple of times, but that’s no biggie to a neural clone. We seem to have more lives than Felix the Cat!”
Scorpius sputtered: “Neural clone?! That blue excuse for a lifeform can not possibly be a neural clone…”
John Crichton, P.I. and the Zhaan clone looked at each other and smiled. JC, P.I. took his arm off Scorpius and walked over to Zhaan. “Come on, Zhaan. Scorp doesn’t seem to want our help just now. Let’s you and me go check out his wormhole research, shall we?” Zhaan smiled warmly. “Of course, John. Whatever you wish.” They wander from the room, arm in arm.
Scorpius sputters and screams: “BRACA!!! Get in here, NOW!!”
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