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I, too, tried to run away from my home. At the age of 3, I know there was evil in our house, though I did love them all, I ran away for the first time, out my bedroom window, when all were asleep. Long story, just l of 2 attempted run aways. God had blessed me from my lst birthday (not the l y.o. bday, the true Birth Day) with many talents and gifts from HIM. With faith and reliance on HIM, the Holy Spirit, Jesus, and Heavenly Angels, I made it through losing my dad without any warning (another long story and testament of God's work) at age 7. With God, I made it down the long dark hallway, my sister said monsters come out from and torture and kill little children during the night, with a prayer and remembering my Guardian Angel and Jesus was with me. The thing that had woken me up, was hearing a female voice sobbing hysterically and apparently I was meant to be the one to find her. It was my mother on the piano bench, holding her head, sobbing unceasingly, saying over and over, how are we going to survive? I comforted her as best I could, and told her there was more than just the two of us present. She eased up enough to say, "Your daddy will no longer be with us. God loved him so much He took him to heaven. How are we going to survive?" Big silent gulp and prayer done. The Spirit talked through me, along with the shock of knowing I'd never know or be able to say I love you Daddy, and you are very brave. God will help us, don't worry,etc.. "I" then told "Mommy": Well God wouldn't take Daddy from you or us, if God didn't think she could handle it without him, no matter how much God loved Daddy, he wouldn't have taken Daddy if he though you, with all of our help, make it through. I love you Mommy, and you are brave, and I know you will miss him greatly and we'll be OK because of God, because you taught me that when I was 2 yrs. old, so just to help you remember." She sobbed some more, and I rubbed her back and ran my tiny hands over her hair so soft it was. She then said, "Peggy, I will help you all, no matter what else happens, I promise." She then said, she now knew it wasn't only us 2 in the room. One year later, 3rd grade, my then undiagnosed paranoid schizophrenic brother began trying to kill us all at unpredictable times, though never successful due to prayers, and also my love and care for his trouble soul. I was the first one that year to climb up to reach the phone to call 9ll, as I had walked in, latch key kid, to find my older sister, nearly dead, with brother dripping wet naked from shower strangling her with our other phone. Well, this went on for 5 years, and we all were spared from death. On the 5 year, my sister moved out quickly in one day. She had been the one who verbally tormented me so drastically when no one else was around. I only always loved her and wondered so why she hated me so much, and I have continued to love her. She did this for about 16 yrs., the effect mortally was my esteem was shattered, among other things. She did, though, the day after she moved out, answered my question, and said she moved out because she heard my brother through the bedrooms wall, say: "OK then Satan. You said if I killed one of my family members, I can save the world? Oh, the next one is Josie?" Yes, my earlier idea that there was something evil in our Christian family was true. My bro. had been by then diagnosed as a paranoid schizophr.. Unfortunately his truly loving and Christian self, was also very delusional and he had confused Satan, as someone he should trust, and he wanted to save the world, so I never blamed him, only loved, and of course always prayed for him. He then became suicidal for 4 yrs. and I did most of the rescues again, with God's help only. I learned a lot about my brother then, and he was has I earliest remembered him, a loving Christian man, lost in a devastating world of darkness. He is now stabilized and doing the best ever. I am 7th born of 7 children, born at 7 Riverton Dr. SF, CA., and 7 when my daddy died. In third grade, I prayed so hard to God to please have His help to help people like my brother, ie.learn to be mentally ill, cope with it as best possible and to do so without violence, and to be of help for families, as we had had none way back then. Though suffering depression from 6th grade on, due to unresolved mortal reactions to verbal and the near killings I experienced and saw, etc. I stayed a true blue Christian, and God had me graduate Magna Cum Laude, 2nd place in Graduate School at SFSU, with excellent letters of recommendations from astute professors. I still though had terrible self esteem, always feeling mess. from sis. "You are so stupid. You're from hell. I hate to look at your so ugly face, etc. etc. etc." still echoing in my heart and mind. With God's almighty interventions, I practiced as a therapist, and quite effectively with God working through me, for 15 years, a lot with severely mentally ill, and family members as an answer to my 3rd grade prayer. Now, 42 y.o., I've moved from CA. to Ohio, as guided my our Lord. I have been rediagnosed accurately finally, with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, severe, and unprocessed, with anxiety, lifelong insomnia, and anxiety just a few months ago. It was only because of how God created me, my faith in HIM, and His almighty interventions that I got to where I am, and throughout my "growing up" years too. One year, I was immobilized in bed for one year with my two loving kitties on the bed with me. It would take about 2 hours of prayer to be able to get up long enough to feed and provide water to them. The love between us was also made available to us, three creatures of God. At the end of that year, with God, I literally crawled to the phone and sought psychiatric help. Well, the MD I got was not so good, but I stayed loyal to her, as my prayers had been answered and I had wanted so to honor them. No relief for years with her "help". So much of a long story, but God also saved me from an earthly fatal car crash, no others hurt during it, just me. It took an angel like man to see me, as I was way down the highway in a deep ditch. I had been driving in the horrible rain and fog, realized I was tired, did the usual routine, prayer, window down partly, radio up louder, etc. Then I had a moment when I realized I had to find a safe place to pull over ASAP!! The next memory, was hearing a man's voice, saying, "Please don't move, you may have severed your spine. I saw what happened, Rescuers are on the way. I will stay here with you the whole time, you are not alone." I slowly was able to open my eyes, and by God, he was talking to me!!! Then I looked ahead, and the car front had totally eaten me, I went unconscious again. I awoke one of the times that followed and saw about 14 men trying to help, use the jaws of life, etc. I thanked them and asked if one of them could bring the food in my work car truck to her just miles away now. I was told, "No sweetie, it's needed for us all to be here for you." They said I tried to talk them into this, when I reawoke a few times, during the rescue process, car smashed into tree, having been going about 40 mph, crossed over the two lane lonely highway ,over a dry creek bed, and into the tree, I later learned. My next "awakening" was in a Christian ER room, before being able to open my eyes, I heard, "OH, my GOD, look at her. Then, another voice saying, "Thank our Holy Lord. DR. SKEOH is one call now. (Ends up he was the genius bone surgeon at the hospital). I went unconscious again right after those two comments. Awakening briefly again, I asked, "Don't I get to make one phone call?" They dialed my hubbys' work number, and I said, barely conscious, "Honey, don't worry, but I've been in a little car crash and no one but me was hurt. They've cut off my favorite purple dress and white leather Indian wedding boots. Would you pls. be able to bring me panties, another dress, slip. and boots cuz I''ll be out of here in a couple hours or so." He said, of course he would. The ER workers hadn't heard my talk with hubby, and I went unconscious again. When I finally awoke, I was stuck in a hospital bed, with a sleepy husband next to me. Slowly I heard, that when he got there, he was told I was in surgery with the top surgeon, and would be in surgery for at least 3 hours or so, as my right foot was "broken in uncountable places, 2 fractured ribs, and both knees cut. Hubby waited and prayed the whole time, though was only my new and first hubby, he was ever so loving, and committed to me throughout the whole ordeal, though no family, again came to see me, except one 5 min. visit, from another sister, as a "representative" of the whole family, most who also lived fairly nearby. AS she had abuse my first little already traumatized little and helpless kitty when I was little, though I had forgiven her, her visit didn't do much for me at all. I also had forgiven my family for hardly ever being there for me during my life. What helped was my faith in God's Holy Scriptures, and knowing all along that people do the best they can, at later more mature age, I added, "..considering what God gave them, what they went through and what they made of it." One professor said he had never heard it put that way before re: who people really are. On an autobiography rough draft, he had written no need to retype, perfect and an A+ as is, and lots of other positive things I had never heard before. God does send us His large and small creatures into our life according to His great plan for us all and with His perfect timing. Having seen so many divorces in my family all my life, and my mom losing her true blue soulmate to Lateral Sclerosis, I had little hope in a long term relationship. I promised if I ever did marry I would never divorce, God willing. I asked God to please forgive my sisters for the divorces and to save them many times. Effective faith and prayer language, and Praises to God as much as possible bring many miracles into our lives and others. I am forever committed to serve God's will, according to how much He can help me do so. I now have my dear hubby for 3-4 yrs. now, the first marriage for us both. WE had met at a Christian singles event, another wonderfully blessed true story!!! I am now volunteering as a pet therapist at a shelter for abandoned and abused cats and dogs. The miracles there are too frequent to write down!!! It is run by Bob, a Senior citizen all voluntarily staffed, including himself. He has worked there 7 yrs. 7 days a week, with little to no days off. God is also with Bob, so very much. Anyone loving to help these animals, Bob has put his life savings into it, would be greatly appreciated, though no pressure intended at all, as my hubby and I are going to with Bob run a 2 weekend garage sale, to bring in money. Praise the Lord forever and ever, AMEN. The miracles happening there are truly indescribably awesome!!! With God's help, if it's His will, I will be writing an article about Sav-a-Pet here in Columbus, OH, with pictures of so called, mean and vicious animals, who are now so loyal and loving, after getting help with their lack of trust issues, abandonment issues, which include anger etc. I am so blessed to be able to help with this healing process and prayer is always one of my main "interventions". RE: forgiving, Jesus so misjudged and tortured, said, "Please forgive them, they know not what they did." We all are sinners,and Jesus saved us. A sin is a sin is a sin. Jesus immediately forgave and saved the murderer on cross beside him. I only prayer we all on earth can pray for God to help us do His will, which always has included forgiveness, and love for one another, all us creatures here on earth are God's children. God so deserves to have all His lost sheep return to Him, and worship and adore Him forever more, is my deep hope and prayer. More testimony, but I've already went on too long. Thanks for reading. God Bless you all abundantly for your needs and wants, in Jesus' Holy Name. AMEN. Maggie Pearl

Email address: Magblon777@aol.com

`On Forgiveness`

`-by Maggie Pearl`