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The Toasty’s Futon Archive
This is an archived version of the first nine months of TOASTY’S FUTON, a blog by Toasty Lundqvist which began on 22 March 2005, vanished without warning on 6 November, reappeared on 26 November and succumbed to technical problems on 6 December.
It has since come back to life again at http://toastyzone.blogspot.com where it rolls onward remorselessly.
Why not dip a toe into the stagnant, fetid, life-threatening waters of The Toasty’s Futon Archive and see if it withers up and drops off? Click on any of the links below for an experience like no other, apart possibly from snogging E M Forster in his later years.
MARCH 2005 [back to top]
Problems of a householder (22 March)
Statistically she’s likely to be a leprechaun (23 March)
On this day (23 March)
A Message from Dr Justinian Bolt (25 March)
Pitfalls of the season (26 March)
Scenes from the life of my grandfather, the Reverend Anchovy Lundqvist, #1 (27 March)
Interpreting Your Dreams (28 March)
Wheel of Ill Fortune (30 March)
APRIL 2005 [back to top]
The wildlife that lives on YOUR BODY (1 April)
This traitorous Prince (2 April)
Is comment superfluous? (3 April)
Scenes from the life of my grandfather, the Reverend Anchovy Lundqvist, #2 (5 April)
Why I resigned from the Royal Air Force (7 April)
Hang on, my desk’s full of suet (8 April)
The Toasty’s Futon Music Festival (9 April)
Among this week’s contributors (10 April)
Equine etiquette (11 April)
An unusual distinction (13 April)
Exams I Never Passed, #1 (14 April)
Shove it up yer Icarus (17 April)
Dream the literally impossible dream (18 April)
I saw your profile (19 April)
Scenes from the life of my grandfather, the Reverend Anchovy Lundqvist, #3 (20 April)
En famille, or do I mean infamy? (22 April)
Cutting edge satire (24 April)
Pigeons: WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW (29 April)
Without fear or favour (1 May)
It was so much easier when we just had the tobacconist’s (5 May)
A Corpse By Any Other Name Would Smell As Sweet (7 May)
Personal column (8 May)
It’s a good job we’ve got new readers, you should see the state of the old ones (9 May)
There’s a bright golden vacancy on the meadow (10 May)
Blogland the Brave (11 May)
Easy does it (13 May)
A demanding guest (15 May)
Angela Lansbury, bride of Satan (16 May)
I have in my hand a piece of paper, or rather I don’t (17 May)
Today’s Biography (19 May)
The ultimate lock-in (22 May)
Gems from the Poets (22 May)
How to get rid of a hangover (25 May)
We’re mad as hell, &c., &c. (27 May)
Make your wife happy tonight… (28 May)
Can you help us? (29 May)
Tonight with Toasty Lundqvist (Trevor McDonald is having a lie down) (1 June)
The Futonian (6 June)
A tale of courage (6 June)
A sorry bunch (7 June)
Your Top Ten Embarrassing Damian Green Moments (10 June)
The hidden epidemic (10 June)
In his own country, and among his own kin (11 June)
The smallest blog in the house (14 June)
Worst Ever Food & Drink (16 June)
Episcopal as a newt (18 June)
Who IS this woman? (19 June)
A word of preliminary explanation (20 June)
Groves of Ackadeem (22 June)
Topics that ought to be on the Web, but Google can’t find them (26 June)
Blogger’s Droop (5 July)
Five Rings Too Many (7 July)
‘Though age from folly could not give me freedom…’ (7 July)
The People’s Edward (21 July)
Deadlier than the mail? (25 July)
Sinister salons (27 July)
All About Eva (30 July)
AUGUST 2005 [back to top]
More topics that ought to be on the Web, but Google can’t find them (9 August)
While Toasty Sleeps (16 August)
Tinklings of Doom (16 August)
The Man With No Name (19 August)
Technical Query (30 August)
My Night With Radge (30 August)
SEPTEMBER 2005 [back to top]
A private grief (15 September)
Biography (17 September)
What Do We Want To Despair Of Tomorrow? (20 September)
OCTOBER 2005 [back to top]
Don’t tell ME not to throw stones, matey (6 October)
Do we need another Nolan Commission? (7 October)
Mind-altering glugs (8 October)
Dear Auntie Internet (17 October)
Mrs Velma Harkness writes (automatically) (17 October)
Voices from the Interior (18 October)
NOVEMBER 2005 [back to top]
De Profundis (4 November)
Streets of fear (26 November)
Toasty Lundqvist’s Guide to Britain, Part One (27 November)
Eight things I wish I’d known at sixteen (28 November)
Today’s Query (29 November)
DECEMBER 2005 [back to top]
Throw Away The Key (1 December)
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