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It's December 17th (a tuesday) 2:50pm. I just got done reading the funniest shit on the internet. Actually that's about all I've done all day. This site is awesome you really have to check it out. Here are some comments people had reguarding the stupidest things their parents ever said to them. I'm adding mine to the top. Feel free to send your parents idiotic remarks to me & I'll post them on my site for you. Click on the link below for my email. Thanks for taking the time :-)
From somethingawful.com
cookie's mom: "what you want to go back to school? Are you stupid?"
velouria's Mom: "No, you can't work at Sonic. People will think you are a whore."
Billiam's Dad: "Don't sweat it, this happens to everyone. Just pick one with bigger tits next time."
brotherlordacid's parents: "This hurts me more then it hurts you." *smack*
Agent 86's Dad: "And you thought those were cigarettes the whole time"
monkeyboy's parents: "Never date a girl that has a dagger tattooed on her body"
JackRabid 's Mom: "Whenever I think of Murphy's Law, I think of you."
Billiam's Mom: "You shouldn't be in a hurry to have sex, it only feels good in the way going to the bathroom feels good."
FaaQ's parents: "It's a red-assed world."
Eby's Dad: "Remember the four F's-
Find em
Feel em
Fuck em
Forget about em"
Daddyo's parents: "Get your finger out of your nose."
melodywise's Dad: "Just don't come home pregnant."
Crustashio's Mom: "Remember the guy at my mother's funeral? He asked me to marry him. I'm not sure if I'm going to say yes."
(10 second pause)
"...He's already moved in, he'll be there when we get to my house"
Mistegirl's Dad: "Anything you have done, will do, will ever think about doing I have done already and was better at it."
Tossed_Salad_Man's Dad: "If you wind up getting caught, out there fucking up like I know you do, and you land your stupid ass in jail.....DO NOT CALL ME OR YOUR GODDAMN MOTHER FOR HELP. You get your ignorant ass landed in jail, you get your ignorant ass out of jail. I dont give a fuck how you do it, but don't ask us. UNDERSTAND!!???"
Zeezo's Dad: "This world would be a lot better off if everyone was as smart as I are."
LegoMan's Mom: "Son, while your dad is out working to pay child support and alimony I'm going to screw everything that moves. There's chili in the cupboard."
PLasTiCHYbRiD's Dad: "This guy came into work today with his hands all bandaged because he said his cat clawed him. Loser."
Konrad's Dad: "You were born in what...December, right?"
Nazar's Dad: "No good deed goes unpunished."
T
he Human Crouton's Mom: "I think it was that lemonade you drank that's been making you cough all week."
fsck's Mom: "I'm so happy that the two of you are getting married. I knew from the moment she brought you home that you would end up together... but I had my doubts for a while because I thought you were gay."
jAWN's Dad: "Jon, remember, penetration is the most important part."
machinegirl's Mom: "If you're going to do drugs, make sure they're good ones."
Jumbo Cactuar's Dad: "Be careful. The big thing that gay guys do at the moment is to slip a drug into a guys drink... then take him home. You don't want a big black guy putting his cock in your ass do you?"
yaffle's Mom: "Don't forget to wear a condom and remember what I told you about the clitoris."
AtomBomb's Dad: "I've only seen a picture of a naked woman once, and I'm ashamed of it."
Graves' Dad: "You should probly start learning how to live on your own soon because I don't know how long i'm going to be around and I don't think your mother likes you very much."
Jimix's Mom: "Eh, do what you want, as long as you are happy and I don't have to pay for it."
Squeeze Truck's Dad: "How can you stand it when that gay hairdresser touches your head? Can you imagine what he must be thinking?"
JumpinJackFlash's Dad: "Keep your tools in your toolbox or I'll beat the shit out of you."
Ruckmaker's Dad: "Son, one day when you are old enough to order a real daiquiri don't. People will think you are a queer."
vmalloc's Dad: "I think you're easily influenced by shit."
Psychogirl's Mom: "Wear lipstick and mascara at least, or everyone will think you are a triangle!"
Cuerzo's Dad: "I prefer you be dead than smoking pot."
chairdoctor's Dad: "I'd rather you smoke pot than cigarettes. At least you'd get something out of it."
Ganryu's Mom: "You're going to be pretty sad when your brother and sister and I are living in a mansion in heaven and you're burning in hell."
Rannic's Dad: "Son, you're in college now. You'll probably be doing lots of things that your mother and I don't want to hear about. So keep your goddamned mouth shut."
GBonicus' Dad: "You'd better make sure you switch which side you lay on every night, or your breasts'll be lopsided."
FelchTragedy's Mom: "Don't marry an English woman, marry an Italian. She'll cook and clean for you."
DeadPuppies' Mom: "Don't go over to his house alone. He'll rape you."
TheOxygen's Mom: "Don't ever be alone with that girl, she could accuse you of raping her."
klem_johansen's Dad: "You should never completely trust any woman under 30. And even the older ones you have to be a bit wary of."
mike_the_bandit's Dad: "You know the Jackson 5? Yeah, well, there's only two of them. It's all done with mirrors!"
InspectHerGadget's Mom: "Remember, I can see you anywhere you go. I have magical eyes."
Cynyc's Mom: "The correct word for 'breast' is 'mammary gland'. Only use that word. Calling them anything else is direspectful to women."
Alaska's Mom: "Is this Pink Floyd? I went to a Pink Floyd concert once, when I was younger. I did mescaline that night and lost my virginity in the back seat of a Mercury Cougar."
biznatchio's Dad: "You're the result of a bottle of Tequila on a Sunday afternoon."
Paulemite's Dad: "Don't use the personal ads. Only fatties use them."
jingo's Mom: "If we all hold hands in a circle around the lake we could purify it."
Bob_teh_fish's Mom: "You should be thankful you're not a poor farmer in China; a lot of those men have no women, so they have to jerk themselves off."
MrFictitious's Dad: "I read a story in the paper about a college kid who got drunk, went climbing on a terrace, fell off, and died. Moral of the story: don't die."
britishbornandbread's Dad: "Ben, if you come home with a boyfriend me and you are gonna discuss it outside with some sticks."
Richard Feynman's Mom: "When you masturbate, you're throwing away God's love..."
Sigma X's Dad: "If you're every thinking of getting married, just remember: NO!"
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