Squirrels, eh? Little vermin... Fluffy rats...is this how you feel about squirrels? Well, here at theTasty Squirrel we aim to change all that. Dangerous and clever these small rodents may be, but mmmmmm... what a tasty treat they make on a cold winter's night. Our aim is to open a branch of the Tasty Squirrel in every major city in the world, but until that glorious day, here are some ways you can enjoy squirrel in your own home.

First you must of course catch the squirrel. We employ expert squirrel catchers, so that every squirrel is in its prime when we catch it. If you want to catch your own squirrel at home, you MUST be careful. They are clever little buggers, and will try to out wit you at every step. An Uzi usually does the trick, and also saves on preperation time for recipes like Winter Squirrel Stew, but for more delicate dishes, such as Warm Squirrel Salad, more care must be taken. A box with a copy of Playboy inside usually does the trick, they can't resist a good read.

Then you have to choose from the array of delicious recipes available for squirrel. How about Mexican Squirrel Gaucho? Or Squirrel a la Orange? Or my own personal favourite, Roast Squirrel with Chestnut Stuffing? Mmmmmmm.

But the recipe we are going to show you today is a simple one, ideal for squirrel cookery beginners.

*********Squirrel Sorbet*****************

A refreshing treat after a heavy meal, or a tiring day squirrel-hunting.

First, remove squirrel ears. Put in fridge.
Then, blend whole squirrel for 2 minutes. Add 400g of sugar and 4 egg whites, and blend for a further 2 minutes. The texture should be quite grainy, but reasonably smooth. If there are any large squirrel parts left, blend again for 30 seconds. Next, pour into a plastic tub, and refrigerate overnight.

Voila! Squirrel Sorbet! Kids especialy love this with chocolate sauce. On a special occasion, garnish with the ears. Otherwise, save the ears, they are a delicious low-fat snack.

Here is a new recipe for all you squirrel-munchers!

**************Squirrel Potato Bake*****************

Very simple, great for when you come in from work too tired to cook.
Simply peel 4 large King Edward Potatoes and chop into thin slices. Then, take some ready sliced squirrel from your fridge. Place a layer of potato about 1cm deep in an ovenproof dish, then a layer of sliced squirrel. Alternate layers of squirrel and potato until you have filled the dish. Then, put a topping of grated cheese and some crushed garlic on top. Put in the oven at 220 C for 45 minutes, or until the cheese is brown and bubbling. Serve with a green salad.

Well, now it is very nearly Christmas, here is a new and warming recipe for all you folks trying to keep all toasty inside...

*************Roast Squirrel***********************

Gutting a squirrel can be rather messy. If you are squeamish, then I recommend you do as I do and buy a ready-to-cook squirrel from your local squirrel hunter. They should be happy to oblige for only a little more than you would normally pay. So, stuff your squirrel with fresh chestnuts right the way through, then cook - in a roasting tin- at 260 C for 4 hours, or until the squirrel is a bit browner than it was( unless you are cooking an inferior grey squirrel - then it should look burnt.) Serve with herby mashed potatoes, or crispy roast potatoes. I personally recommend brussel sprouts with roast squirrel - the succulent squirrel flesh will take away the truly horrible taste of sprout.

This recipe is great for those of you who don't want turkey this festive season - even vegetarians are usually happy to eat squirrels, because they are such destructive little bastards, destroying the earth faster than even hairspray. ( I have proof of this, if you want it, then e-mail me...).

Happy Holidays!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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