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my history as I became a single mom
As I became a single mom.....I gave birth to my first child on July 22, 1994. A beatiful baby girl. I was not in contact with her father through the whole pregnancy. When I found out I was pregnant with her I was in Forth Worth Texas. I decided to come back home becasue Dwayne(her father) and I were not getting along and I had to family where we were.I returned to my hometown of Wadena Iowa and resided with my parents. I worked part-time at a nursing home as a diatary aide. After I gave birth to Alisha I contacted her father and brought her to Washington Iowa where he resided. I decided to move here so he can have more contact with us and we dicided to work on our relationship. I lived in an Apartment just Alisha and I and Dwayne slowly improved his contact with Alisha. I then worked a full-time job at a local convienent store. Our relationship wasn't getting very far so I started to date a man from this area. about 8 mo. later Dwayne finally come around and I left the man I was with to rekindle the relationship with Dwayne. I became pregnant again and we decided to move to Coraville Iowa where we both had jobs and lived in a small trailer. After Desaree was born on March 30th, 1996 Dwayne was showing alot of support with the girls and was a proud father. We moved to West Branch into an apartment witch was bigger for us. Than we started to have some difficult times as a couple. He started to run around and not have much to do with the girls. Seemed like his friends were more important. We ended up getting behind on rent and had to move in with his parents. I got a job as a assistant manager at Casey's and worked alot of hours and he worked at Crane Valve and we saved up some money and put a down payment on a mobile home that we decided to fix up. Still I felt like I was taking care of the girls on my own. I Was always sending the girls to a babysitter even if he was home. I than discovered I was 5 months pregnant. We got the mobile home fixed up and moved in. I left my job at Casey's and worked at Hardee's which paid more and became a shift leader there. Times were hard so I took on two jobs while Dwayne continued to look for work becasue he no longer worked at Crane. I had to take the girls to a sitter and pay the sitter when Dwayne was running around supposedly trying to find a job or work. Where was the money? It was coming from me working two jobs and being pregnant. Why did I have to work alot and still pay a sitter? I was being a single mom with the father in the household! Dwayne and I fought alot and he wasn't very responsible. I hired a live in babysitter becasue I was working all the time and Dwayne was who knows where. Time went on and I gave birth to a bouncing baby boy (Dallas) on Sept. 15th 1998. To make a long story short here we lost our trailer by moving it. It didn't last the move. We stayed with friends til we got another place to live. I changed jobs and was working at Amana Appliances and Dwayne was at home most of the time for awhile taking care of the kids. It was hard for him so I continued to pay a sitter to watch the kids. I worked 2nd shift and still had to become the single mom with the father in the household. I got laid off in Oct. of 2000. We moved into the country into a 3 bdrm apt. and since we moved there I haven't worked becasue I got sick and have had health problems since. We lived in the apt. for three years and all we would do is fight and he emotionlly and verbally abused me and the kids. He was never home and to find out that he was doing illegal things times got harder. I raised my three children with all the love I have and continued to stay with Dwayne. Things finally got real bad! He left and than I found out he had alot of stolen property in the garage. He up and split for three month's. no show no call to the kids! There was a warrant out for him for the stolen property the cops had recovered from the garage. He than turned himself in after 3 mo. of being on the run. He spent time in a half-way house. I went on and took care of the children. He wanted to come back into my life and I had to say NO. I went to counsling and the kids also went. I understood alot of things as I went through the therapy. My bestfriend helped me get a 4 bdrm house in town where I still reside. The kids and I are happy here. I am being the best single mom I can be and not to mention all my kids have ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder). Also I have alot of health issues. I have been diagnosed with fibrmyaligia and connective tissue inflamation condition which make it hard for me to do some everyday activities. I contiune to be a single mom and Dwayne continues to be the father he always was. He hardly calls or sees his kids. And one thing I wish all men would realize is being a single parent isn't the easiest thing to be in the world. I wish some men would take in consideration that women do put up with alot and living a disabled life with disabled children I think I have come along way! I also would like to thank my bestfriend Jennifer for being here when I need her. She is more like a father to these kids than thier own! God Bless her in every way. As far as Dwayne, Get a job and a life! Drugs don't get you anywhere and alittle time with precious children would be a great thing for you! But I would hate to ruin your freedom as I have none. But I would rather spend evert moment with my children than have freedom to so whatever I want. I love Alisha, Desaree and Dallas with all my heart and would give them an arm and a leg to see they have there needs met. And life goes on from here....
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