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Simon (March 21 - April 20)
Your Apolstle SIMON says: What was lost is now found and we aren't talking about your salvation. Embezlement is a FELONY and you are going to jail. Close those Swiss accounts and find yourself a good defense attorney SIMON becuase your employer and the IRS are not happy. On the 17th you will not look good in stripes.

Andrew (April 21 - May 21)
Domestic issues bring you down on the 29th. Wife or daughter has a big secret and your world will fall apart. If you though last month was bad you would listen to Andrew when he says to buckle down the hatch sinner, this will be a rough ride.

James (May 22 - June 21)
Bill collectors will be calling on every day that has a two (2) in it. When you come home to find that new Mercedes missing from the drive don't bother calling the police; it has been reposessed. James feels that this would be a good month to consider leaving the country but avoid taking the Concorde as one crash is enough for you in September.

John (June 22 - July 22)
It is one thing to be pleasantly plump and another to be fat. Hit the gym says John and work on cardiovascular. A heart attack is around the corner. Get down on your knees in prayer in front of the toilet for added benefit. Killing two birds with one stone sounds like a plan. Speaking of birds, don't eat poultry on the 15th. Dirty bird takes on a new meaning.

Phillip (July 23 - August 23)
Ridicule and mass despair hangs over your head like a dark cloud. Phillip says that on the 22-30 you will be the center of attention. Your spouse gives "laying on of hands" to deacons in your church and everyone will talking about for weeks to come. Have you thought about a new fire arm?

Bartholomew (August 24 - September 22)
Barttie says that the only position you can expect this month is flat on your back. Avoid right turns after dark when driving. On the 13th you can expect bad news about your children which will result in added expenses. School clothes will seem like pocket change spent when dealing with medical issues. Cash in that CD now. You are going to need it.

SEPTEMBER CELEBRITY FORECAST

GOSPEL SINGER IMPREGNATED BY ALIENS
A certain attractive-in-a-cheap-sort-of-way, female gospel/pop singer will realize that she should has accepted the wrong JESUS into her bed. Picking up busboys in Mexican cafes named JESUS has been a favorite passtime for this singer. But GRANT you and I, nine months from now she will be singling lullabies to a screaming infant due to raising her feet to the heavens.

FIRST LADY OR LAST IN LINE?
One Presidential hopeful's wife will find herself behind bars and I do not mean an antique oak one in a trendy nightspot either. Caught on camera slipping a Herme's scarf into her purse she will be escorted to the security office of a major department store. Will this ruin the chances of this prospective candidate or will Herme's come out with a new ad campaing featuring the next first lady sporting designer handcuff-like bracelets and a jailhouse numbered scarf?

CBS SURVIVOR CAST MEMBER SEES HOLY GHOST
Survivor winner, Richard, will announce that he saw JESUS and mother MARY in heated dispute over popularity while on island. Who did Richard side with in this debate? Well, he won the contest didn't he? Expect Richard and Jesus to open a clothing optional campground for the motivationally challenged in late fall.

WHO DAT IS? DAT MY BABY DADDY
One pop superstar will announce that the father of her latest child is The Lord, giving the term, MADONNA AND CHILD a whole new meaning. The sultry pop icon will release a new albumn featuring herself singing childrens dance tunes. A line of childrens disco-retro appearal is expected to follow.

AUGUST
SCANDAL IN ATLANTA
A respected Baptist minister will come under fire when seen leaving the Ritz Carlton with a female companion. No need for make up to rosy those cheeks Pastor, you will be embarassed enough.

MIRACLE CURE FOR SINUS SUFFERERS
A Miami FL nightclub police raid will lead to the discovery of a synthetic powdery subtance that cures the common cold. Baptist minister in South Beach will proclaim this "the miracle drug of the pretty people".

ROSIE O'DONNELL REPENTS
The robust TV talk show hostess will denounce her stance on firearms and will become leader of loval NRA chapter. Accidental misfire will injure thirteen in live taping of her show.

HARRY POTTER BOOK WRITER ACCEPTS JESUS
Authoress Judy Blume of the famed Harry Potter series will make announcement that she was blinded by Satan's Celebrity but now sees the light. Before a crowd of 20,000 she will be baptized and then lead the crowd in singing all 12 verses of the Doxology. She will recall all of her SATANIC books and replce them with the first in her new series, "Jesus and Me", a series of books about a young girl growing up Baptist in South Africa.

Angel Anne had a vision that this month would be a good time for you to check out the secular "Horrorscope" at Ian and Rebecca's. They are apparently a newly wed couple that the Apostles and Anne find very interesting. So stop by and tell them Angel Anne sent you.

Thomas (September 23 - October 23)
Take of those rose colored glasses Thomas says. Not only do you look foolish, you will not see the
betrayal coming your way on the 18th and 29th. Loved one whom claims to be your ally wants something you have. Change your locks and passwords. Send the spouse away on a trip and find a new best friend. This one is bad news.

Matthew (October 23 - November 22)
Don't put away that black dress or suit just yet Matthew says. This month will find you at another funeral for loved one on the 28th. Behind you back people are calling you Angel of Death because those around you are dropping like flies. New wallpaper border in the living room or kitchen will help cheer you up. But nothing with black.

James The Less (November 23 - December 21)
Do what you are best at says James, run and hide. Rebuking the wrong person on the 25th brings you more than you bargained for. But good news follows: That rhinoplasty you have needed will now be covered by your insirance as a result. People will stop calling you honker and start asking who is that attractive Christian. Simon offers a subtle clue as to what to expect on the 14th.

Thaddaeus (December 22 - January 20)
Once shunned, you will now be adored by your Pastor. Keep those eyes opened though and realize the difference between good touch and bad touch. Your pastor gives new meaning to the term "on knees in prayer" if you are not careful. Thad says that starting the week of the 8th you will feel like a new person. But that may not be a good thing. Call off sick that week.


Simon the Zealot (January 21 - February 18)
Your jaded past is revealed to all in shocking manner on the 17th and 23rd. That rotary luncheon or Bible study will put you in the spotlight. This would be a good time to look for Fall fashions and practice groveling. Your Zealot says, sometimes we learn from our past mistakes. this is not one of them, however.

Judas Iscariot (February 19 - March 20)
Being cheap will only bring sorrow to your home on the 19th thu 27th. They may not be the flames of HELL burning down your house but it will seem like it. Skimping on store brand batteries for smoke detector? Tsk...tsk... Judas says, Familial status changes on 28th. Fire kills or did you not know that? Call insurance and up the spouse and kids polices today for a prosperous pay off in Novemeber. And who says a tragedy doesn't lead to greater things.

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ABOUT ANGEL ANNE

"People will come up to me and ask me, "Anne, are you really an angel?". Now that is plain silly because angels are dead and I am very much alive in body and spirit. I may look like an angel and present myself as one but I am just a 22 year old woman who is blessed with the ability of biblical fortune telling.

Nine years ago when I was just a 13 year old girl living in Conyers, GA I received my calling. I was sitting on the steps of my church when an older lady walked up to me after service and touched my shoulder. The minute that her hand connected with me flesh I had a vision that she would die that very evening. Terrified, I got up and ran inside the building to find the pastor. "Anne, what is wrong you look like you have seen a ghost?", he said. Well I did, the Holy Ghost. We talked in length about what I had seen and then we prayed. It was during this time that I was down on my knees before my pastor that the Twelve Apostles came to me and dictated my future. "You will be a servant of the Lord", they told me in unison.

I told the pastor what had happened and he said that while I was down before him that he felt I was very good at what I was called to do. We went and found the lady who was going to die and told her to prepare to meet her maker. That evening she passed in her sleep. The coroner was unable to determine the cause of death. But I know it was God.

Since that day the Twelve Apostles have came to me on a regular basis with the a message to share with the world. I may look like an angel and I may even carry myself like one, but I am just a Baptist woman who happens to be able to prophesy." - Excerpt from CHRISTIAN WORLD ASTROLOGY®, Issue XXI, June 1999

"She is one of the most powerful soothsayers that I have ever known" - Jeane Dixon on Angel Anne

"Anne has the divination like no other in the universe" - Sydney Omarr

"Of all of the astrology greats, Anne is the only one who will not return my phone calls; she doesn't have to. We chat through slient prayer - Dionne Warwick

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Apostolic Astrology With Angel Anne© is a part of the Friends Of Baby Jesus Ministries© and is copy right proteced through 2000 and is the sole property of Sister Taffy. In other words dears, enjoy it and share it. But be sure to give credit where credit is due as Sister Taffy has more attorneys than Angel Anne has Apostles.


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