Who killed Ruto?

Stole–borrowed from Zelda's Nightclub

A comedy story made by viewers! You play the detective and the also do the characters lines! Add characters if you want to!

The night was a cold one, as I walked up to the castle I noticed something in the river... It wasn't a bottle... It was Zora blood, and it was floatng towards the castle, I dove into the river and swam up stream, by the fence I found the body of Ruto, impaled on a spike and an arrow through her heart, crowded around the scene was Link, Ganondorf, Zelda, and Indigo. Indigo was rambling on about the Ranch still, not that likely of a supsect, Zelda was doing a fake princess crying routine, Link was playing celebrate good times on his ocarina and tripping over the cucco, and Ganondorf was laughing at Link. Everyone had a reason for getting her out of the way. Indigo hates everything, Ganondorf hates her and all the other sages, Zelda hates her for attempting to marry Link, and Link hates her for trying to marry him. My prime supsect was a drunk Link, who had just fallen into the river while playing celebrate good times and dancing, plus the cucco tripped him again and fell into the river with him, but I didn't care about and old Cucco. I pulled him out and stared him in the eye.

M[Me]: I know you did it!

L[ Link]: Did what? The good thing! I wish!*Hiccup*

M:Are you stupid, drunk, or both?

L: Hmmm... Both!

M: Alright!

I let go and let him fall back in. Zelda was done crying, but Ganondorf continued to laugh.

M: Alright, green bean, you did it!

G[Ganondorf]: Did what? Laugh at Link?

M: Moron...

I decided I would talk to him later. I turned to Indigo ,who was plucking his mustache.

M: Did you see what happened?

I[Indigo]: Maybe... What's it to ya?

M: Something...

I: I don't know... My memory's fuzzy...

M:*Pulls out a bag of rupees* Remember now?

I: No! You idiot, I have a bad memory!

M: Oh...

Iturned to the princess, who was putting on make-up.

Z[Zelda]:This is terrible.

M: Cut the crap,I watch movies! I know this bull!

Z:Ididn'tdoit!ItwaseitherLink,Ganondorf,Indigo,orthecucco.

That'swhenitstruckme.

M: Thec ucco?

Z: The bird!

M:He was here when I walked in, where is he?

Z:Jumped in the river...

I decided to stay and not chase the coccu, it was time for a second interview with the suspsects.

M: All right! Which one of you people did it! Come clean, I know who it was, and if you don't own up, it'll be a longer, slower, more painful death!

L: Did what? I got drunk, but that's it!

G: Can I go now?

I (who's actually called Ingo ): I swear to me, I didn't do it!

Z: *Shifty eyes* How do you now who did it? But I'm not doing the shifty eyes becsuae I did it, I'm doing the shifty eyes because I have SES- Shifty Eyes Syndrome. Yes. *Shifty eyes*]

M: Umm... I don't really know whodunnit. It was a bluff.

That's when I realised... Ingo had sworn.

M: YOU ****ING **** YOU SWORE YOU *******! I'LL KILL YOU!

Ingo Strangles Me, before Link slices him in half with the sword.

M:Now we know who the murde-

Before I could finish the sentance, Link played the song of healing and put him together again. Strangly, no one saw anything.

M:Um...forget it

Everyone gets bored and sits around a fire. The Cucco decides to tag along for some free marshmallows

M: I think I finally know who the killer is!

L: *Gulps* Uhh... err... who?

Z: Damn! *Shify eyes* Now they might get put to justice intead of getting the reward they deserve! *shifty eyes*

G: YES! MORE KILLING! MORE BLOOD FOR ME! MUAHAHAHAHA!! JUST A FEW MORe PINTS AND I'M FREE! FREE, I TELS YA! *Shuts up suddenly*

I: You're already free, you moron.

G: Oh, yeah... Heh, heh, heh...

C: CUCKOOOOOOO! (Translation: Eer. I'm doomed.)

M: The killer is-

L: *Turns off the lights*

M: Link, there's a fire. No lights.

L: *Looks sheepish*

M: As I was saying, the killer is-

G: No, wait! Let us guess! I say it was-

L: *Throws water on the fire*

Z: Who turned out the lights?

Suddenly, the fire comes back. G is lying on the floor, apparently pecked to death. A few feathers are lying by is body, nd the cucoo has blood on its beak.

M: Oh, no! G is dead! And there is no evidence leading to who killed him! And I've forgotten whodunnit! And I need to pee!

L,Z,I,C: *Anime fall*

Z: Wait! I know who the killer is! It is-

C: *Beats out fire with wings*

I: Who turned out the lights, again?

The fire comes back on, somehow. Z is lying on the floor, apparently stabbed in the heart by an evil-destroying blade. Link quickly sheathes his sword, which has blood on it.

M: Oh, no! Z is ead too! And there's still no evidence!

I: Um...how come these lights keep on coming back on?!?

C:Cuckooo (Translation:You mean the fire, right, dumbass?!?)

I:Um..yeah...*Shifty eyes*

M:Why the hell would you have shifty eyes over that?!?

I unno, just the fact that Zelda always did it. So why shouldn't I?!?

M:Good point

Ingo drinks nescafe and the room lights up

M:Good idea!

Cucco looks for the lightswitch

M: Cucoo you moron, it's an idea bulb! What's the idea, Ingo?

I: Well, this makes no sense. Three different people have put the fire out: Me, Link and the Cucoo. Why would they want the fire out? To kill whoever might have been going to give the murderer aay. And if three people put the fire out, all of them had some reason not to let the murderer get discovered.

M: So, the murderer is either you, Link or the Cucoo?

I: No. There was only oone murderer. I think the other two were bribed. So it wasn't Link. So it was either me, or the Cucoo. And since it wasn't me, it was the Cucoo.

M: Hmmm... perfect reasoning! Cucoo, we have you now!

C: CUCKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! (Translation: What? Bt you have no proof it wasn't Ingo?)

M: What? Sorry, I don't speak Cucoo.

C: CUCKOOOO! (Translation: You understood me before!)

M: Quiet, you.

And so, the Cucoo was taken way to jail.Which, in English, is torture place. There he died, and I hear made an excellent meal for the torturer. And, although Ingo was later discovered, y means of DNA evidence, to be the real killer, he was set free because he promised to never do it again, and anyway, nobody liked Ruto, and anyway, if the people found out that an innocent Cucoo had been killed in jail, there'd be a lot of angry letters, complants and a-bombs delivered to their doors.

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