You STILL know that you go to AU when...
NO MORE UPDATES... Quality is lacking, and the site is too large. I'll reform it when I think of something creative!
Submitted by Ellen:
156. You've taken a cab from the tenleytown metro because the shuttle stops running before the metro.
157. You remember the days of "cock block" (6th floor, leonard, 2000-2001.
158. You've eaten chipotle everyday for a week.
159. You've stolen food from tdr though you know how disgusting it is.
160. You've heard the rumors about what happens in the library bathrooms and the garden by the ampitheater.
161. You've gotten drunk with your ra on your floor.
162. You remember the one night where the shuttle bus horn was broken causing it to beep every few seconds.
163. You remember late nights at tdr and how it was the time to catch up and see just about everyone.
Submitted by Rizky:
164. Your weekend intinerary consists of Cheesesteak Factory, Dupont Circle, and skeezy spanish bars in Adams-Morgan.
165. When you order your books for classes online to realize you could've gotten much better deals on sites like half.com.
166. You know Public Safety Officers Sanchez, Reynolds and Condell personally (and, perhaps, have participated in their "ride-along").
167. You just realized you overpaid for a pack of cigarettes at Eagle's Nest when you can pay less at the 7-Eleven on Wisconsin Avenue.
168. Speaking of Eagle's Nest, ever heard of Eagle's Nuts?
169. You've been to a party where Bob Nardo stands up on top of a couch and starts singing "God Bless America."
170. Your package is "mysteriously lost" at the Front Desk.
171. You rarely see Bender Arena fill up for any sporting events.
172. Despite the university implementing software restricting downloading speeds on Kazaa, students never found an alternative around it, like Soulseek or Ares.
Submitted by Rachel:
173. Eagle bucks dont really mean anything, just keep charging it to the account-it's not real money anyway.
Submitted by ME AGAIN!:
174. You look out the window because Weatherbug isn't working, but see both dudes in shorts and girls in winter coats.
175. In less than an hour this page (well, the first page) received over one hundred hits!
176. You can watch a hawk devour a squirrel in the amphitheater for over an hour.
177. The aforementioned hawk finds it amusing to toss the stomach of the aforementioned squirrel at you.
178. It takes an office with four administrators making tens of thousands of dollars yearly to simply schedule and reserve a room on campus.
Submitted by Ben:
179. You need a lawyer by the time you're a junior.
Submitted by Tim:
180. You've never met a math professor who's first language is english.
Submitted by Amy:
181. You've been trapped in the Bermuda Triangle -- the Registrar to Student Accounts to Financial Aid-- for three days straight, and no one can seem to resolve your problem.
Submitted by Matt C.:
182. Your quad has a flaming cupcake where people worship.
183. You've vomitted on foreign soil on your way back from a party.
184. You or a friend has fought a black ninja squirrel and lost.
Submitted by Brian:
185. You've ordered 12 jamba juices to be distributed to your floor in order to finish your meal plan.
Submitted by Jim:
186. Tour guides don't know there's not one, not two, but three recording studios on campus.
187. The campus paper mocks the chemistry department even though they have their own building while SOC shares its building.
188. 75% of the classes taking place in the "College of History" building have nothing to do with history.
189. The purpose of political panels is to decide which leftist option is best.
190. You've had classes on days of a bomb threat.
191. The president of the university, who has a PhD in religion, denies the flame on top of the campus chapel represents Methodism.
192. More people read a website than the campus paper.
193. Websites that have nothing to do with the university do more to advertise concerts on campus than SUB.
194. You go to pheer.com or pollstar.com to learn about concerts on campus.
195. Every third person you know plays guitar.
196. The average age of your night class is 30.
197. Admissions increase even though crowding forced the university to lease an apartment building.
198. You know a bar in town that's been around for over a year.
199. There's an entire row in the library dedicated to books about drugs.
200. You've seen a punk show in a bar with sports pictures on the wall.
201. You've waited 30 minutes for a shuttle that runs every 15 minutes.
202. You've seen a Ferrari parked in the student commuter lot.
203. You've waited to hear sirens before leaving for a fire alarm.
204. When you hear "LA", you don't think of California.
Submitted by Rich and Steve:
205. You can effectivly consider yourself a member of the Straight Minority.
206. You go to the Mall to see monuments, and to Pentagon City to go shopping.
207. Girls actively complain about the lack of straight avaliable men in the presence of staight avaliable men.
208. You came here for an international experience only to find that nearly everyone is white, and those who arn't are kept in one building as far away from things as possible.
209. Every person under 21 knows someone who lives on the terrace who'll by them booz.
210. You've been public ridiculed or chastized for not putting up or updating your away messages.
211. You have a tumor on you ear from using your cell phone too much, and a tumor in your lungs from smoking too much.
212. Your Chem teacher, who has a Doctorate Degree in both Biology and Chemistry smokes.
Submitted by Agatha:
213. No party or bar could provide the entertainment of watching someone beingstretchered off to Sibley.
214. You're intimidated by the "Persian mafia."
Submitted by Brad:
215. From week to week, day to day, and even batch to batch, TDR Macaroni and Cheese: never the same meal twice.
Submitted by Elliot:
216. You see more non-white people on the front page of a pamphlet for prospective students touting diversity than you see on the quad over the course of 1.5 semesters.
Submitted by Andrea:
217. Political Figures - like Alan Greenspan - count as celebrities.
218. Donkeys and Elephants turned your campus into a museum.
219. Your friends from high school can't understand why you come home talking politics.
220. Your student center flies balloons during "Gay Pride" and "Coming Out" Week.
221. Your dorm door AND window sported a Gore or Bush or Nader sticker in the 2000 elections.
222. Your classes pause for the State of the Union Address but you have class on President's Day.
223. You've seen someone publicly "come out of the closet"
224. You've seen Metro trains wiz by, and honk to make you jump out of the way.
225. You know the quad is for socializing, the hill is for sunning on a warm sunny day
226. You know Arabic princes go to your school, but you don't know who they are, and you don't care
227. You IM your friends to coordinate TDR time
228. Two of your friends are in love with Lenny Steinhorn
229. You've never met your financial aid counselor
230. You are a junior and still have not fulfilled your science requirement
231. You live through events that your high school friends only hear or read about on the news.
232. You figured out how to score a sweet apartment that's cheaper than on campus living.
233. You realized it was a changed world when armed guards sprouted up on the Metro.
234. You've stayed for the summer and laughed at the interns that came and felt important.
235. You noticed the food is mysteriously better during parent's weekend.
236. You used to take pride in having a DC mailing address before the anthrax came.
237. You know where to check out the rich-kids-cars - by the library.
238. The editorial page is your favorite page of The Eagle.
239. You know 10 people that think they will be President one day.
Submitted by Kat:
240. You know you go to AU when your parents shell out full tuition & you drive a new hummer..... yet you still go to solidarity meetings, ecosense, and complain about how everything is underfunded.
Submitted by "That Guy" (an alum!):
241. You've seen the Secret Service respond and remove someone from the dorms.
242. When you've been questioned twice in one day by ATF agents about the Roper arson because you were too lazy to shower that morning.
Submitted by Nicole:
243. You call it "Gay Jew" instead of AU.
Submitted by Lauren:
244. You know you go to AU when your floor has a Sunday brunch comprised entirely of items "liberated" from TDR.
Submitted by Kary:
245. Somehow even the filtered water, has been subject to chemical experiments.
246. You find your wet laundry spread across the floor, just because you were two seconds late in getting it.
247. The only way people have heard of your school, is because of its presence on the Top Ten Drug Busts on a College Campus in "Rolling Stone."
248. The only way to bond with your fellow students is in your complete hatred of AU.
249. The guys here would rather watch CNN then get some ass [I, Graham, dispute this one... IM me if you need help ;-)].
250. Even the ugliest and nerdiest guy can be hot, IF he's straight.
251. TDR food tastes ok going down, but you better leave quickly because it's not so hot on the way out.
252. You don't have any radio stations in your dorm, but somehow you have a radio tower on campus.
253. You dream of a day when people learn that they shouldn't talk on their cell phone while on the toilet in addition to discovering how important washing your hands afterwards is.
254. You want to shoot yourself multiple times a day.
Submitted by John:
255. A drunk girl from California tries to hook you up with her friend from St. Louis
256. People (particularly girls) refer to the Washington Monument as the national phallus.
257. You have to take a 50 minute long Metro ride to the nearest Target.
258. Old Democrats at a fundraiser give you the finger for trying to protest and make fun of Slick Willie.
259. You see a guy wearing a yarmulke at the Fitness Center.
260. Students whose parents earn $200k a year are protesting capitalism.
261. Classes at your university are closed because of four inches of snow.
262. You see a sign about a protest against circumcision down the hall.
263. Your roommate and half the people on your floor are from New Jersey.
264. You are the only Republican on your floor!
Submitted by Leslie:
265. You start smoking because it's something to do to fill your time.
Submitted by Molly:
266. You know that Roscoe is the best, and only, working vaccuum in leonard.
267. You know that Lorenzo is the devil incarnate.
268. Hearing a heard of drunken fraternity boys run down the halls of Anderson gobbling like a turkey is no longer a surprise.
269. The amphitheater stage has been turned into AU's own private skateboarding park.
270. You know there's a swimming pool in Bender, but don't understand if it's for everyone, or just the swim team and the 10 year old's swimming lessons.
271. You saw Mission Improv-able during freshman orientation and never saw them again (unless it was to get points during homecoming).
272. You've seen Monkey Hate Action News on atv once or twice, and don't understand how anyone could find it funny.
273. You have been busted twice for having a candle in your room, but the waft of pot smoke coming from down the hall doesn't even make the RA's head turn.
274. Two years into it, you realize what a mistake it was to come to AU in the first place.
275. You only watch atvnews when you are a week behind in current events.
Submitted by Ken:
276. Your floor IS the UN, but all the people you see on campus are white.
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