Yet you STILL know you go to American U. when...
NO MORE UPDATES... Quality is lacking, and the site is too large. I'll reform it when I think of something creative!
Submitted by Candace:
277. You know that TDR is cheaper if you pay out of pocket instead of buying a meal plan.
278. Your dorms are dry but the school runs an off campus apartment building where alcohol is allowed.
279. You know what a 'Tenleytown Bitch' is.
280. You went to Tenley Liquor on your 21st birthday and got a free gift, even though the cashier there had seen you every weekend for the past 2 years
281. You know what a 'TDR Boyfriend' is
282. You know what a 'quad monkey' is
283. You've been in the LA Quad and seen people in Anderson having sex and ran into the building just so you could cheer them on
284. Your mom calls to ask you if you've ever taken a class with a professor that she just saw on TV
285. Your mom calls to make sure you weren't arrested in a protest
286. Your mom calls because she saw an episode of Inside Edition that profiled a high price call girl who went to 'a university in NW DC'
287. You have a friend that is friends with 'Nanny Boy' and you find yourself watching reruns of his show on Lifetime just so you can figure out who he is
288. You can't stand Chris Wylde's (aka Chris Noll) TV shows, but you defend them to your friends at home and tell them how you met him during your tour of AU.
289. You remember the time that Moby came to campus. Oh wait, hardly any AU students got tickets to it...
290. You remember the time MTV's fanatic was on campus and your friends snuck into the concert for "Jorge and his close friends"
291. Your biggest fear is becoming one of the people who has graduated but still hangs around the quad (and isn't taking grad classes!).
292. You rationalize your school's lack of a football team by saying "hey, they're still undefeated."
293. You live in letts and your boyfriend is in hughes and you break up because of the 'long distance'
294. The highlight of your trips to TDR used to be reading Mike's witty responces on comment cards.
295. You knew that AU had one of the best ranked cafeteria's in the country but a) it still sucked after two weeks and b) the school got a new food service provider because of a disagreement in prison policies.
296. You've seen girls sunbathe in bikinis on the Grassy Knoll.
Submitted by Mike:
297. Alums from the Middle East include four Saudis and a Bin Laden.
Submitted by Jim:
298. You have no clue what makes a pizza a Philadelphia pizza yet you order it every weekend in your drunken haze.
Submitted by Megan:
299. You doubt it when a guy says he is straight.
I WILL TAKE THE HONOR OF SUBMITTING NUMBER 300
Submitted by Graham (page creator):
300. It takes a website full of cynical remarks and humorous observations to bring your university together (in less than a week!).
Submitted by Rizky:
301. You've mistaken Ben Ladner for Osama Bin Laden (ya know, Osama Ben Ladner)...
Submitted by Regan (another alum!):
302. AIM profiles aren't complete until they contain some sort of political commentary.
303. Your "best friend" moves to Tenley Campus, and though you promise to get together once a week, you never see them again.
304. Your friends from home have a Shwa mp3.
305. If your friends aren't online and active when dinner rolls around, you just skip dinner that day.
306. You remember clubbing under-age at "The Cellar" back in the day.
307. You believed it every time Sigma Chi said it was the last Chief Ike's.
Submitted by Polson:
308. The Grill Guys at TDR ask you for money to get a burger.
Submitted by Mike:
309. You know what 'Camp Bethesda' is.
310. You try to make it back from the club by 2 am so that you still have time to hit up Subway.
311. You seriously consider joining the three middle-aged men that play Magic the Gathering every other night in MGC.
312. You go to the track daily -- not to exercise, but to smoke a joint at 1 am.
313. You leave your wallet and other valuables in your room when you have to visit the 6th floor of Anderson.
314. You've used your EagleBucks card to get the 10% discount while buying beer at Sutton Gourmet.
315. You've wondered if the health center prescribes Adderall.
316. You've smoked from a hookah in the L-A quad.
317. Instead of studying, you spend three hours thinking of 'you know you go to au when...' jokes.
Submitted by Greg:
318. TDR shopping involves taking a bookbag and some tupperware to TDR and filling them up.
319. You have ever been to the Round Table or know who Butch Grant is.
320. You know that the Russian Embassy gives shots of Vodka to costumed Trick-Or-Treaters.
321. You know what Industrial Bank West is (IBW)
322. You know that Goldie Hawn lost her virginity in Hughes hall.
323. You go to the Marketplace to study during the day, knowing full-well that studying is the last thing you will ever get done.
Submitted by Sara:
324. You know you go to AU when the name Dirty Sanchez means something to you.
325. You know all the nasty nicknames for all the sororities on campus.
326. You know how to hide not only booze, but a pet hamster, snake, or iguana in your dorm room.
327. You know that the "grassy knoll" is NOT just a place where a Kennedy assasin stood.
328. You can pick a freshman from an upper classmen on the Knoll ... the freshmen are the ones slutting it out in bikini's.
329. It's not the "Health" center, it's the "Death" center (But you know to go on Tuesdays when Paula is there to hook you up with the good drugs!).
Submitted by Becky:
330. You steal everything in sight - hey, you paid for it, so it's yours anyway.
Submitted by Wesley and Iggi:
331. You have a TDR rating scale that goes from -5 to 9 because there are no 10's at AU.
332. You would hook up with a lot of people at AU . . . IF NOBODY FOUND OUT.
333. You need a pocket translator to talk to your neighbors in Leonard.
334. You want to tell the dude in the ampitheater with the violin to SHUT THE HELL UP.
335. The parking spaces are worth more than the cars sitting in them.
336. Deportation comes to mind when the international kids piss you off.
337. If everywhere you go you ask, "do you take eagle bucks."
338. You try to get on the freshmen (meat) the first week of class before they contract all the STD's.
339. When you look at the sign in sheet at the front desk you see that Osama Bin Laden was signed in three times today by Saddam Hussein.
Submitted by Leslie:
340. You're going to the bathroom and you hear someone talking on a cell phone in the stall next to you.
Submitted by Ron:
341. When you see girls wearing trendy, tight fitting clothes, and have sloppier bodies than women about to give birth
342. When those girls (See above) strut around in TDR like they fit in those clothing items mentioned.
343. When you would rather hang out with the TDR workers than the actual students.
344. You'll blast GW for being pretentious as hell, yet still go there to pick up some decent girls.
345. The only university in existence where there are still people who have never kissed someone, let alone have seen the opposit sex's sexual organs.
346. You go to a school that is suppossed to be diverse, yet by that definition diverse stands for liberal, white, and from New Jersey.
347. When your friends from home start talking about college experiences you quickly try to change the subject or leave the room.
348. Did I say New Jersey?
349. Finally you know you're from AU when everyone you know is from New Jersey.
350. I almost forgot, everyone's from New Jersey.
351. P.S.S Two words, New Jersey.
352. People can actually be seen studying on Fri/Sat.
Submitted by Iggi and Wesley:
353. Every black student on campus knows each other.
Submitted by Angel:
354. You know that the grassy area by the SIS Annex (which looks like a trailer park) is referred to "The Beach" amoung other things.
355. You know the school just got a new theatre but no one knows where it is.
356. One word: SNOOD!
357. You can hack into any computer on your floor using the floor network.
358. Even with your stereo and tv turned up all the way you can still here your neighbor having sex at any given point during the day or night.
Submitted by Beth:
359. "You know what Virgin Vault and Lesbian Lair are and which is the one to avoid.
360. You've hooked up with a guy from every school in the area but wouldn't touch the AU guys.
361. You know why to avoid the 2nd floor of MGC outside of the cyber cafe.
362. Your cyber cafe has broken computers and no cafe.
363. You know that the SC is like smoking....
364. You haven't paid for copies with your own money since you were a sophmore.
365. Before you came here you owned and wore AU gear but haven't since you started here.
366. You claim to hate your state but would rather wear a state school shirt than a AU one.
367. You have ever gone to the law library to 'study' because you know that there are straight men there.
Submitted by Sam:
368. Everyone on your hall assumes that you're the one having loud noisy sex but you're consistently sex-iled.
369. When sex-iled you've been repeatedly repelled from people having sex in letts hall study rooms, people hooking up in floor lounges, people hooking up in the library until you finally seek refuge in MGC where no one is ever having sex.
370. Park Scam is where you live.
371. You're late-night hook up is also hooking up with like 5 other people but due to limited choices, you don't really care.
372. You first became apathetic towards the university when you got busted in the dorms.
373. Late night games consist of throwing objects out your window aiming at either smokers in the quad or poor souls walking by.
Submitted by Eric:
374. Sororities gather in the amphitheater to make idiots out of themselves.
375. Hookahs litter the amphitheater.
376. Noone is really sure why Ben Wetmore walks the way he does, but noone is comfortable enough to ask.
377. You know that there's a kid who promotes for Red Bull, and every now and then you see him with several cases walking calmly.
378. Drum circles apparently make a statement against war.
379. You've watched the webcams on the AU portal because your friend was on his/her cellphone calling you, telling you to look at it while they waved.
Submitted by Lex:
380. You try to be vegan because a guy you like is vegan, only to discover that you choked down gallons of soy milk for a homosexual.
381. When you call your adviser 'ma'am,' she says 'I know that you little Southern people have that kind of thing inbred.'
382. When you inform the aforementioned adviser that you're thinking of transfering, she says, "Let me know if you don't go to school here anymore so I can take you off the record."
383. The girls who wear exclusively sweatpants look like they've never seen a gym.
384. All the professors you like refuse to learn your name, and all the professors you hate stalk you relentlessly
385. No matter what school your class is in, there will always be at least three students dressed like they're 40 years old.
386. You wake up every morning thinking, "What am I doing with my life?"
Submitted by Becca:
387. My submission for the page: when your Verizon Cell phone works everywhere in the city inclusing the metro, but not in the room you live in.
Submitted by Brian:
388. Your parents get lost everytime they go to the university because of the stupid traffic circles.
389. If you live in Leonard Hall (the international dorm) but your roomate is still from the state as you (New York).
390. You are never quite sure what your assignments are or or when they are due because instead of sticking to the syllabus, professors like to go onto blackboard every half hour to change an assignment.
391. You're surprised because you complain about the food everytime you go to TDR but when your friends from other schools come visit they describe it as a "gourmet restaurant."
Submitted by Amy:
392. Once upon a time, you couldn't dine in TDR without being hit by a piece of food from an ATO food fight.
393. You have tried TDR Science by putting salt and pepper into your soda; or piled all the tables leftovers onto your plate and daring a friend to try it.
394. You still remember the year your life fell apart was when Sandy Dewey was transferred to CAS.
395. You had to ask 5 different people where BIC was in order to make your class on-time.
396. You know the only climate in Asbury is "Swamp."
397. You've seen urine stains on the ceiling in Letts.
398. In order to register for classes, you've had to pay your $90 library fine in cans for the canned food drive.
399. You've bought a brand new book at the bookstore only to learn upon selling back at the end of the semester, that is only worth $0.45.
400. You're still taking Gen Eds by the time you're a second-semester senior.
401. You've missed class entirely while waiting for a paper due in that class to print at one of the labs.
402. You remember when Mega Bytes used to be a run-down Green Mountain Coffee shop.
403. You call Papa Johns more than you call home.
404. You have seen cockroaches in your room larger than the average housecat on more than one occasion.
405. You've piled 10 people into a 5-seater to shuttle from the LA Quad to a frat party.
406. You've been in a food fight at Cheesecake Factory.
407. You remember the ORIGINAL Clawed's chicken strips with honey mustard dipping sauce.
FIFTH PAGE!!! The list grows... URL here:
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