What's that, you're ALWAYS an AU student when...?
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Submitted by Daniel:
547. You know 10 people that didn't get accepted as RA's, and they were all qualified straight girls.
548. Your RA got the job because he/she was gay/black/a guy and underqualified.
549. You, and/or half the people you know got rejected from Georgetown.
550. You know more openly gay frat boys than anyone thought existed.
551. Your theatre has only one dressing room for both sexes, divided for the curtain.
552. You know the DPA exists but you think they only have 100 and 200 level courses.
553. You've never met a theatre major.
554. You're only interested in politics or International Relations.
555. You wonder how Econ majors can do the math.
556. Davenport is the only place where you can get decent tea.
557. Your professors are well respected in their field, but they treat anyone who disagrees with them as stupid.
558. You have ever joined a co-ed fraternity.
559. You know that APO (Alpha Phi Omega) people are only doing it for their own resumes.
560. You've ever had a professor that tells you that there is only one way to think correctly (The Dialectical Method).
561. People always gets the College of Arts and Sciences confused with the Catholic Student Association.
562. You vote for a guy who called every pro-multiculturalism person a "multiculturalist radical."
563. You know that Satan owns all of the SCers Souls.
564. You know anti-Corporate America/Anti-Capitalism people whose parents are oilmen, and CEOs.
565. Participatory Economics - Another definition of Communism, and the way to an A in Economics class.
566. You know people who can't pry the cell-phones off the ears.
567. You know more gay guys than straight ones.
568. You've ever met a Gay Catholic Ultra-Conservative Republican.
Submitted by Rizky:
569. You realized that there are two DPAs (Department of Performing Arts and Department of Public Administration), and whenever someone mentions DPA, you go crazy over which one that person's talking about.
Submitted by Angel:
570. You desperately need to take a class over the summer the only place you can take it is AU because the general education program is "specially designed" so that only AU can get your money at any given point in your academic career (bastards).
Submitted by Jim:
571. You're handed a "VIP" pass to a dance club even though you're sporting a faded band t-shirt, worn-out chucks, and haven't shaved that day.
Submitted by Rachel and Amierah:
572. Your advisor says, "Oops, you didn't have to take that class" not once, but twice a semester.
573. You are asked your political affiliation before being asked your name.
574. Your away message says you are doing research when you are actually reading this website.
575. 75% of your CD collection consists of CDs burned from MP3s.
576. The students are more professional than many of the staff members.
577. There is no need to use a currency trader; you can do it right on the quad.
578. Half of your floor doesn't have a home because they're been an army brat their whole life.
579. The SC spends $30,000 for a 500-person party, and still tuition goes up.
580. Your SC spends more time debating national political issues and furthering personal vendettas than actually doing anything productive.
581. When your printer runs out of ink, it's easier to pay your neighbor in Diet Coke to print than it is to go to the library.
582. The only way not to be impeached is to be friends with most of the SC.
583. Certain campus members lecture about premarital sex and underage drinking, but are still regularly seen partying.
584. You go to the bathroom on a Friday night and all three stalls are covered in vomit… on the honors floor.
585. The sororities don't know the difference between the suffixes "th" an "st."
586. You constantly mock the frats and sororities, but still go to all their parties.
587. The guy at Prince knows your name.
588. EVERYBODY has a cause, no matter how inane.
589. You come back with clothing you have never seen before when you finally find a free washer.
590. The washers are always broken or in use by someone who does not live on your floor.
591. "Interior Decoration" consists of Christmas lights and magazine cutouts.
592. Your neighbor thinks nothing of dropping $170 on an ugly bag simply because it's Coach.
593. The money you are charged for damages never seems to go to repair them.
594. Your prospective talks about going to Harvard and Yale, but ends up here in the fall.
595. Your neighbor routinely knocks on the door at 11:02 to tell you to be quiet because she is "sleeping."
596. Kiki Ladner recognizes you, but her husband does not.
Submitted by Marty:
597. Phi Mu= Phi "Moo"
598. AXO= A Chi "Hoe"
599. XO= Wanna-be hoes
600. SDT= Full of STDs
601. The Delta Gamma symbol is an anchor, cuz the loooooove to go down.
602. Sammy's and EIs are druggy thugs.
603. Delta Chi is the backstreet boy frat.
604. Phi Sigs beat their pledges to a pulp... hence, why they're so small.
605. The Pikes are too busy getting drunk and smoking huge bongs that they ignore their academically failing members and don't do community service.
606. Sigma Chi is either Sigma "Bi" or the Christian Coalition... either way, they're wusses who make girls pay at their parties and lose in football.
607. AEPi... nothing more needs to be said.
608. Oh yeah, forgot the Phi Sig Sigs... or should I say the fuck suck sucks?
Submitted by Tara:
609. You know Steve Field and call him by his first and last name.
Submitted by Willy:
610. You wake up with vanilla extract dripping out of your ear.
611. Your room key is completely similar to those of your friends from other colleges, resulting in being locked out of your room despite remembering "your" key.
Submitted by Rizky:
612. You apply to study abroad at a prestigious institution (and not think you'd be accepted), go ahead and run for the SC Presidency (and win), get accepted to study abroad at a prestigious institution, shock the GA at SC Transition and at a special session about your acceptance, and have benladner.com explain all the odds-and-ends about your resignation while the GA tries to sort the whole thing themselves.
Submitted by Telicpatriot:
613. Your university claims to be nondenominational, but still has strong ties to the Methodist church.
614. Your school used to have a major building named after a shady Saudi arms dealer who was involved in the Iran-Contra scandal.
615. As an AU Ambassador, you know not to mention areas like Lower Level Anderson and the BIC on tours.
616. You wish you had seen those places on YOUR tour.
617. You know the Sobering Walk from the Frat houses to Steak 'n' Egg.
618. You think your cell phone doesn't work near Tunlaw because of the Russian embassy.
619. The easiest way to fend off an ugly girl is to pretend that you're gay.
620. Every black guy, unless on the basketball team, is gay.
621. You go to a capella performances to meet guys.
622. You've had Mikey serenade you with "Wonderful Tonight."
623. Your school is "international" but has a relatively small study abroad program.
624. Your university attempts to hide this small program by naming it the "World Capitals" program.
625. The weather has mood swings: 70s Spring into wintery snow into 85 Summer into cold rain.
626. You know Ed Davis and wonder how he is everywhere, all the time.
627. You've sat in on a forum with Representatives and executives just to get the free cookies and soda.
628. You check this website every 15 minutes and wish you'd had the idea first.
629. Your dining hall plays the Howard University radio station, but not the AU radio station.
630. You didn't know (until right now) that AU has a radio station.
631. You've seen Bob Nardo dance.
632. Your university is in the nations capital with a supposedly very political student body, yet your student government president elections had only 1/10 of the student body.
633. You've had the bulemic girls vomit in your bathroom.
634. Your RA's idea of a floor plan is taking care of him when he stumbles in drunk from a party.
635. You stopped doing laundry when the machines stopped taking any random card.
My AIM: Shangboing
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