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SGC2C: Season 7
Alrighty! Hello and welcome to the only page on the Web that's all about the seventh season of Space Ghost Coast to Coast. Now, you might ask me, "But Hyde! Why only the 7th season? The other seasons are all really cool too!" Well, my fellow nerdy friend, the reason why this page only has season seven info on it is because this is the season that has finally escaped the restrictive clutches of the normal Cartoon Network schedule, and can at last be able to go RAUNCHY.
That's right, folks. This season is guaranteed to be full of swears, bleeped-out words, and more mature themes and situations than in the past six seasons. This, of course, means funnier lines and better jokes, which means this is going to be the best season in SGC2C history. SO NOW YOU KNOW. heh-heh-hee...
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CAST OF CHARACTERS
THADDEUS EUCTIACE GHOSTAL(AKA SPACE GHOST)
Yep, ol' Ghosty sure has come a long ways since that crappy 60's action series. Tad's gone from mediocre superhero, to a cult sensation, complete with his own talk show, enslaved enemies, millions(NOT hundreds)of loyal and devoted fans, countless webpages dedicated to him, and his own place in modern pop culture.
*BIOGRAPHY*
Born and raised on the Ghost Planet, Tad Ghostal attended Ms.Steckler's Acadamy for Superheroes, and barely graduated. Tad made his costume, which is the sole source of ALL of his powers, as a project in home ec and metal shop after he figured out that he doesn't really have any actual superpowers. After working out all the bugs in his costume's workings, Tad put on the suit, added a black hood for added flair, and hasn't taken it off since. Tad decided to use the name Space Ghost as his persona. He did some odd jobs, such as saving the Tiny Hut People, to raise money to buy a sleek brand new Phantom Crusier, the Ghost Planet's most elite intergalactic ship. Between jobs, SG spent most of his time watching Star Trek in his mom's basement, secretly idolizing Captain Kirk.
Finally, SG bought the Cruiser, and took it for it's very first ride through space. Unfortunetly, Tad hadn't learned to drive yet and crashed into a planet that was inhabitied by a single being: a talking shrub named Warren. Warren took the confused young superhero under his leafy wing, and taught him all he needed to know on how to get on TV. After that single summer, SG returned to the Ghost Planet, and decided that he wanted to be on an action/adventure series, much like his idol, William Shatner. So, packing up his socks and tights, Tad said goodbye to his family and his homeplanet to go to Hollywood, Earth, to follow his spontaneous dream.
At CBS, a nervous, jittery Space Ghost stood in line to audition for a new show called "??? and Dino Boy" with about 20 other superheroes. Tad just so happened to be the first one to audition, so he got the part, since the producers wanted to get it over with so they could go to lunch. Hanna-Barbera's newest cartoon, "Space Ghost and Dino Boy", allowed Tad to mingle with a few of the actors who played the villians, like the aspiring Zorak Roberts, who had a dark secret: He really WAS an evil alien, bent on taking over the universe. This didn't seem like a big deal to the rest of the cast, including SG, since they were all from space. The series ran briefly, just long enough for the cast to get a small taste of stardom. Then the show got cancelled.
The villians of the show went their separate ways, while Space Ghost spiraled into a 20 year wave of depression, ranging from 1969 to the early 90's. In the 70's, SG had a one-night stand with an aquarium store clerk, who became pregnant shortly afterwards. Thinking that the baby was Tad's doing, the clerk's father had them in a shotgun wedding. It was later revealed that the baby was actually from a different person, so the two divorced. More depressed than ever, Tad succumbed to isolation, living off of welfare cheques and the laundromat money that his mom sent him. In the 80's, SG had already given up all hope of ever returning to the spotlight, so he let himself gain over 200 extra pounds to his 6'9, 298 pound hulk.
While eating a can of potted meat product one night in 1993, SG spotted an ad on TV about a new channel called Cartoon Network. A few days later, Tad recieved a call from Mike Lazzo, president of Cartoon Network, offering to let him host a talk show. Knowing this was his final chance at stardom, SG blindly accepted, and immedialtally started trying to lose his extra bulk.
Knowing that he will need to hire some extra help, Tad got out his address book, and went on a 3-week villian hunt, bailing out his arch-enemy Zorak from the Omegan Prison, where the giant mantis has developed a metabolisim of a hummingbird, and Moltar, who has been writing and directing short movies in jail for the past 30 years. On the way back from the prison, as the Phantom Crusier flew over a small Hawaiian island, Tad spotted Brak, another (former) villian sleeping on the beach. Thinking that he was still evil, SG abducted him. Back at Cartoon Network, the show's producers decided that it would save them alot of room if the show's set was on the Ghost Planet, so set construction began. After a few weeks of rehearsals, the show premiered, and instantly became a cult hit. Today, Space Ghost is living in his apartment, alone, still addicted to strange meat products and Mexican food, yet content that he has FINALLY become better known than Charo.
ZORAK ROBERTS
Evil, mean, nasty, stubborn, which ever way you say it, Zorak is the entirtainment industry's favorite seven foot tall insectiod musician/actor. Besides from SGC2C, Zorak will be co-starring on the new Brak Show this fall.
*BIOGRAPHY*
Zorak was hatched along with about 2098 other siblings on the little-known planet Dokar, home of all the universe's giant evil mantai. Zorak, a brother, a twisted little sister, and their mom devoured the other 2095 larvae, and the father. As time passed, Zorak proved to be the strongest of the litter by devouring his little brother. As Zorak continued to grow up, he was forced into a boarding school for wayward larvae, where he first began to show his power over the masses by leading all of his classmates into mutiny. The band of angry little bugs swept over the planet. Dokar's older residents crowned young Zorak as "the Lone Locust of the Apocalypse". Because old mantises are senile, they all thought Zorak was a locust instead of a mantis, causing him to have a 30-year identity crisis. Getting bored with leading the wayward bugs, Zorak abandoned his followers and returned home. His mom enrolled him in high school, not knowing that her son has skipped elementary and middle school. Not knowing or caring about studying most school subjects, Zorak turned to a life of street crime, mugging Dokar's residents and stealing cars and such. Right around the time he was supposed to graduate, Zorak went and stole a ship capable of interplanetary travel with two of his friends. The three manti left Dokar, and began plotting schemes to take over this planet and that. The bugs went from planet to planet, taking over every one, except for Earth. They stopped by our planet to refuel their ship, but realized that they already spent their short-lived fortune on crowbars and matter-intensifier ray guns. Zorak concocted the idea of auditioning for a spot on a new show, "Space Ghost and Dino Boy" at CBS. Zorak got the role of Zorak(which was a complete coincidence), and his lackeys got to be the mute henchmen. On the set, Zorak developed a hatred for Tad Ghostal. He tried to kill him several times, but without success. After the show was canned, Zorak and his henchmen still couldn't leave the planet, since their ship got towed for too many parking violations. Hungry and out of work, Zorak went and devoured his friends, and roamed Earth for a while, doing mineal tasks for spare cash and stealing food. He even worked at Birmingham Palace for a brief period, polishing silver for the Queen. He lived this way until one night, at Cape Canaveral, he snuck aboard the space shuttle Columbia. Unfortunetly, Zorak got jammed in one of the engines, and the shuttle exploded in mid-air, catapulting himself into deep space. He just so happened to have stolen a space suit and an un-tested jetpack, enabling him to move about freely in space. While floating about in dark matter, Zorak crashed on the Ghost Planet by mistake. Being wanted for random acts of violence and theft, Zorak was captured and taken to Omegan Prison, where he befriended Moltar, and amature director/lava man. Together, the two developed plans of revenge on Space Ghost, simply because they both hate him. While in the pokey (no pun intended), Zorak was tricked into a prison pen-pal program, in which he met Zingor, a femme mantis from Dokar that was in love with him since he led his class into rebellion. For a long time, the two sent letters to each other, until Zingor suddenly and mysteriously stopped writing. Depressed, Zorak wrote a song about her, but kept it tucked under his vest. A few years later, Zorak and Moltar were bailed out of prison by Space Ghost to help him run his new talk show. Since Zorak had some musical ability (he used to use live cats as a sort of twisted violin in his younger years), he was appointed band leader of the Original Way Outs. Quickly mastering the keyboards, Zorak developed an interest in singing. He often practiced (and still does)with partially-lobotomized former space pirate Brak, who Zorak also became friends with. On SGC2C, he has grown into the role of surly, foul-mouthed sidekick, and on the upcoming new Brak Show, he will be co-starring as the disgruntled bad influence/best friend of star Brak. Since the show began, Zorak has had no permanent home, but Brak was nice enough to let him come live with him and his family on their home planet.
(More soon to come, folks!!Check here soon for Brak's bio!)
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EPISODE GUIDE
1) "Kentucky Nightmare"
GUEST-Willie Nelson
FACT:This is was first new episode since December, 1999!!
SYNOPSIS
The show begins with a large shark on the studio floor. SG invisos in, and explains to a confused Zorak and Moltar that the shark, Ol'Kentucky, is a merger between the show and the Kentucky Nightmare Talkshow Liquor Corporation, which is failing horribly. SG goes on to interview Willie Nelson, then notices a big bear wandering outside the studio. The bear gets inside, and mauls SG. Wondering why the Ol'Kentucky isn't helping him, SG goes to the control room and watches his old documentary about why bears and sharks are best friends. He goes back to the set, and the bear growls at him. SG hides behind Zorak's keyboard, and blames him of secreting something that's attracting the bear. Zorak releases a cloud of gas, which smells really really bad, so SG sends him outside, where he sets off two more clouds.
The bear jumps him again, so SG goes to see the KNTSLC's owner, Dr.Worm, to re-evaluate the merger. Dr.Worm doesn't agree, so he returns to the studio. The shark has gotten outside, where he explodes. SG goes back to the control room, and watches more of the documentary that explains that a shark's brains and sexual organs are sometimes made out of M-80's, and that they sometimes explode to attract giant killer bees. Suddenly, the studio is swarmed with bees, so SG, Zorak and Moltar go to the creek. Zorak gets pulled under the water by a shark, but nobody cares.
JUSTICE HOLE SOON TO COME!(like I said, folks, all this typing's giving me arthritis, and I'm still in high school!)
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NEWS
8-6-01
HOLY SH*T! I DID IT! I-I FINALLY GOT MY ADULT SWIM SITE DONE!! WOO-HOO!!! Okay, you might think I'm over-reacting, but this is the FIFTH, yes, FIFTH time I've had to type this ENTIRE freakin' page. First, I left my computer on-line with this page about two clicks away from being posted, than AOL screwed me over and logged off by itself. Then I re-typed everything, then found out that the address I wanted to use for this page was already taken, so everything got erased. Third try, my power went out for a few hours while I was typing, the fourth attempt, my dad shut off my computer right before I made the last click to register the URL and be finished, and the last time I tried, my whole system was running painfully slow, so I just stopped typing. But now I can die happy now that I have this friggin' site up. Wow, I actually DID something half-way constructive this summer vacation! VICTORY IS MINE!! BWA-HA-HA-HA-HAAA!!! Ah-ha. Eh heh. Um, say, I'm hungry...
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