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SARSHA
Sarsha: 1/2 Sarah. 1/2 Sasha, 100% fabulous
Best Costume Idea Ever
- wear only pants (No shirt) When people ask you what you are say "premature ejaculation" When they look confused, explain "I just came in my pants"
Pick-Up lines
- Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Gretchen?
- Is that a keg in your pants cuz i want to tap that ass
- Is that a run in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?
- nice shoes. wanna fuck?
- roses are red
violets are blue
I like spaghetti
lets go screw
- Do you know what'd look good on you? Me
- Have you heard the latest health report? You should increase your daily intake of vitamin Me.
- If I told you that you had a great body, would you
hold it against me?
- There must be something wrong with my eyes, I
can't take them off you.
- Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and
we'll talk about the first thing that
pops up?
- Do you sleep on your stomach? [any answer] Can I?
- Hi, my name is Pogo, want to jump on my stick?
Fabulous Quotes
- "If you cant convince them, confuse them"
- You cant make a man love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in"
- "a positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort"
- "Anytime i see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing?"
- "If you're ever shipwrecked on a tropical island and you don't know how to speak the natives's language, just say "Poppy-oomy." I bet it means something."
- This product that was on TV was available for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like a product that was available for three easy payments and one complicated payment. We can't tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is going to hard.
- I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughtnut... I don't need a receipt for the doughnut. I give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I can't imagine a scenario that I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. To some skeptical friend, Don't even act like I didn't buy a doughnut, I've got the documentation right here... It's in my file at home. ...Under "D".
Ways to be Annoying
- Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
- when on an elevator say ding when passing each floor
- In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors"
- Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer
- Specify that your drive-through order is "to go"
- When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!" "3rd
time this week!!!!!"
- Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each A
Funny Moments
- "I saw your life flash before my eyes" - Sarah
- "You're so annoying. Why aren't you walking with me?" - Aliza
- "Everyone was yelling at me to shut the window!" - Sarah "One person
asked you to close it" - sasha
- Sasha gargling chocolate
- Sarah pulls a muscle smiling
- snoochie boochie
- "do you actually talk to sasha or just laugh" - Sarah's Dad
- "do you speak english?" - random street vendor in France "Si" - sarah who then falls off the curb
- sashas detachable penis
- Sashas amazing cover ups ex. "you like don?" (don walks by) "ald duck is my favorite character" - sasha
- "I think you two (sasha and sarah) have ADHD" - Zach
- At sarahs sweet 16 sasha goes up to her friends to try to get them on the dance floor and they respond with "we dont dance, we just smoke"
- breaking the cot....then fixiing it
- sasha walking over the open suitcases with a bag of chips crumbs held upside down not realizing that they are falling everywhere
- "Whats your name?" - sarah "dont worry about it" - mike short
- singing britney spears and eminem for the whole bus when they refused to play our cds
- "Apple pie is my favorite" - Sarah "Why arent you eating the apples?" - sasha "I dont like apples" - sarah
Recipes
- frozen bananas
Beginers: Peel banana. Wrap in tin foil. Place in freezer. Consume once frozen. easier to eat if fork is injected into banana end
Advanced: Roll banana in chocolate and sprkinles, nuts, etc before placing in freezer
- Peanuty buddy chex mix
Ingredients: chex mix, baking chocolate chips, peanite butter, powdered sugar.
Directions: melt equal amounts of choclate chips and peanut butter. Stir well. Mix in bowl with chex mix. Put in big zip lock bag. Add powdered sugar and shake it like a polaroid picture.
- Popcorn
Beginers: unwrap packaging and place in microwave. Use popcorn setting
Advanced: instead of microwave use a campfire.
For variation: try kettle corn
Tips for Guys
- use her name when saying goodnight
- dont ask for her number if you dont plan on calling
- Man up: make the first move
Sarah's webshots
Sasha's webshots
Send E-Mail to: saristeen@yahoo.com
Copyright © 2005 Sarsha. All Rights Reserved