YOU CAN'T LIVE IN THIS WORLD WITHOUT SALAMI

Chachi Is Charged!!

Who was the greatest comedy duo of the 1980's?
Eddie Murphy and Joe Piscabo?Corey Haim and Corey Feldman?CC DeVille and Rikki Rockett?Hall and Oats?
Nope.
It was Scott Baio and Willie Ames.
Before the super duo did thier tv show "Charles In Charge" they joined thier comedic talents together and starred in the movie "Zapped!",a horrible mix of a movie combining elements of "Carrie","The Exorcist","Taxi Driver"and "Porkys"about a nerdy high school scientist named Barney(Scott Baio) getting telekinetic powers.Ames plays his trouble causing,wise crackin',skirt chasin' pothead friend Payton.
Payton gets Barney to do all kinds of evil stuff-gambling,making girls blouses pop open,cheating at baseball,all the things we would do if we actually got superpowers.
Barney ends up falling in lust over a geeky female high school news reporter who eventually starts to ruin Paytons fun my forcing her stuffy "morals" on Barney,which causes a rift between our two heroes(isn't that the same thing that happened between Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis?).
Luckily,by the end of the movie Barney ignores his bitching buzzkill of a girlfriend and goes crazy and kills everyone in a bloody telekinetic fury at the high school prom.
Just kidding...
but that's how the movie should've ended.

That would've made the movie a huge hit.
Oh well,it's still my favorite 80's teen flick.Here's some reasons why....
1.It's horribly cheesy soundtrack.I actually found it at a used record store for a dollar.I had to have it.The movie is littered with schmaltzy sappy love songs done in wonderful Barry Manilow style cornyness by complete unknowns.My favorite being a song by David Pomeranz called "Got To Believe In Magic".It makes me cry everytime I listen to it(not sure if it's tears of meloncoly or the kind of tears ya get when ya throw salt in your eyes).He also does another sappy toon called "King And Queen Of Hearts"which is almost as good as the other one.If I was God,I would make it a law that these songs would have to be played at every high school prom,wedding and Superbowl halftime show.
2.Scatman Crothers-The voice of Honk Kong Phooey plays the high school baseball coach(I think,he could be the school janitor too).He constantly goes on and on in the movie on how much he loves salami.He also has a great dream sequence while under the influence of marijuana,and he's got the best lines in the movie-"First comes the women,then the whiskey...I calls it "The Devils'
Double Whammy"
3.A boob shot.nuff said.
4.Barney pulls a Linda Blair and possesses a dummy and terrorizes his parents with it.He also has a projectile vomit scene.Scarier than anything Marylin Manson can come up with.
5.A special appearance from Eddie Deezen.
6.Words of wisdom from Payton-"Sometimes life is like an onion-you peel it,you cry"
7.Paytons' sneaky ways of gettin' Heather Thomas to have sex with him.He's a genius.

Things that makes this movie suck-
1.The boring lust relationship between the school principle and a teacher.God,please kill 'em both.
2.The stupid Star Trek dream sequence.Jeez,whatta waste of 5 minutes.They coulda tossed in a few more boob shots.
3.Barneys' annoying girlfriend.They shoulda made her more "fun".Even Joanie Cunningham had more zip than this chick.

Oh well,not every teen comedy can be perfect.
Another thing-how come all the "tough guys'in this movie dress like flaming dancers from a Wham video?
There's also moments in this movie that suggests Barney may be a little psychotic.He's obsessed with quoting lines from "Taxi Driver",he has a bottle of whiskey in his science lab,he tortures small defenseless lab rats and he gets a little creepy when he's tryin' to force the clothes off his girlfriend with his powers.He shoulda learned a few tricks from Chevy Chase in "Modern Problems"and used his powers on his girlfriend in a more positive way.
Or maybe I'm just looking a little too deeply into all this.Maybe I'm the one who's psychotic-I AM waisting prcious moments of my life putting together a page on "ZAPPED!".
Just imagine if Payton would've gotten the powers.That should've been the sequel.
Anyways,overall this movie sucks,but for some reason it's my favorite 80's teen flick.It's a little twisted,a little sappy and a whole lot of crappy.
I've got a friend who's favorite 80's flick is "Mannequin"
Just thought ya might like to know that.
Sing along with me-"Got to Believe In Magic...
Tell me how two people find each other...
In a world that's full of strangers..
Got to believe in magic..,
Something stronger than the moon above...
Cuz it's magic when two people fall in love."
Hmmm...think I need help.