Patty's Place-No Bullies Here

My name is Patricia Toler but most people just call me Patty. I am a single mother of a bullied child and I am an advocate for a nationwide organization called Bully Police USA as well as one of the moderators for a yahoo chat group for Bully Police. I am also a member of a group called PeerAbuse Info. Bully Police USA is a nationwide watchdog organization that monitors and reports on state laws regarding bullying. I am one of many advocates across the United States who are working towards getting Anti-Bullying Laws passed in every state (and my cousin and another advocate Director are trying to get a Federal Anti-Bullying Law passed) so as to protect our children from constantly being bullied in school, on playgrounds, on school buses, etc. We are also trying to get the message across that there are instances when a bullied child has had enough and commits what we call Bullycide - I've included a link to the site so that anyone who visits this site, would get a better idea of what bullying does to our children and what the end results have been and still could be if something isn't done and done soon - www.Bullycide.org .

I became involved with the Bully Police USA approximately 3 years ago, thanks to my cousin, who is the media researcher for the Bully Police. I've been advocating ever since and I'm proud to be an advocate for this very noble group.

Just so everyone knows, ever since I've been involved with Bully Police and making noise about the injustices of the schools (not just my daughter's but others as well), my daughter's school has been finding every little thing wrong with what my daughter does; they've been making false allegations against me, nit-picking at everything my daughter does, etc. This is the extreme that a school will go to if its trying to cover its collective butt. And its not just my daughter's school. There are a lot of schools - elementary, middle, high school, charter schools and private schools, that pick and choose what rules and regulations they are going to follow. My daughter's school thinks that this latest "intimidation" tactic is going to get me to back off and stop me from making noise about the bullying, intimidation and other stuff that goes on (and not just by students but by teachers and staff as well), they've got another thing coming. That's not a threat, that is a statement of fact.

Word to the wise to anyone who decides to become an advocate - make sure you are ready and willing to stand up to the biggest bullies of all - the school system and the government. Because if you aren't, then maybe mediating and advocating wouldn't be a good idea for you.

Its been proven that there are alot of unreported cases of bullying because the bullied child is too scared to say anything for fear of retaliation, prime example, fear of retaliation from either the bully or a school official. There are even children of all ages out there who are willing to go to extremes to make the bullying stop such as committing suicide (bullycide) as well taking a weapon to school because they have had enough and in their minds they honestly believe that they have no other choice. Look at all of the school shootings - its been speculated that the shooters were bullied or abused by someone at those schools, I'm not excusing it, I don't think anyone should go to those extremes, but unfortunately, its a sad reality. I will tell you this: not all bullied children go to those extremes because the child does eventually tell the parents whats wrong if asked, especially when the parent or parents start to see noticeable changes in the way their child or children, carry themselves as well as changes in behavior, such as unexplained sudden mood swings and resistance to going to school and parents are now becoming more aware of what to look for as to signs of bullying.

Its a proven fact that almost every school across the U.S. prefer to "bury their heads in the sands and hope the problem resolves itself or goes away altogether" rather than face the problem head on and try to do something about it. Unfortunately, unless we all work together, that isn't going to happen. Bullying, peer abuse, relational aggression and bullycide will continue. There are schools that, instead of using the term "bullied" when taking a statement from a student about an incident, they write on the complaint forms "confrontations between students" or "Incident between Students" and then give in-school suspensions (ISS), not only to the bully but also the victim. How fair is that? Its not! It is unfortunate that the lawmakers of the United States don't take the Bullying Issue more seriously. We need laws that will protect our children and we need the politicians, the police and the schools to enforce these laws, otherwise, like I said, its going to continue and its going to get worse.

For those of you who would like to learn more about signs of a bullied child or signs to look for if your child is a bully or becoming one, you can go to the Bully Police USA main site (link is at the bottom of this page). Please check out my site and also check out the links to the other sites that I've added. They are very informative with regards to the bullying issue as well as relational aggression and peer abuse.

I would also like to add that when I am not advocating for my daughter as well as for other children, I do some typing on the side; documents, letters, faxes, simple flyers, simple but professional looking resumes, etc. You can contact me either by email - PLToler1@yahoo.com - or feel free to call my voicemail and leave a message - the number is 240-793-8178.

This site is dedicated to a very special lady, Elizabeth Hyatt (Jan. 01, 1937 to October 20, 2007) who is no longer with us. She always encouraged me to go beyond my limitations and was always willing to try and debate me under the table until she got her point across. I'll miss her but I know, in my heart, that she, as well as my grandmother, who also encouraged me regarding the Bully Police (June 16, 1922 to March 26, 2007) are with me, encouraging me to keep going and never give up the good fight and never go down without one.

I'd also like to thank Elizabeth Bennett of PeerAbuse.info and Brenda High of Bully Police USA for all their encouragements as well as the support from everyone else I've had the fortunate of becoming acquainted with through the yahoo chat group. You all have been my rock during good times as well as bad times. Thank you for all your support.

Thank you for taking the time to check out my site. Feel free to sign my guestbook.

Patricia L. Toler
Cell: 240-793-8178
Bully Police USA-MD Chapter
Montgomery County Public Schools District Co-Director

*Making new laws or improving upon the ones already in effect, such as the Anti-Bullying Law, to protect our children, should always be a priority with teachers, parents, people who vote, as well as the Legislators and the President, for our children are our future. There should also be a law to protect adults who are bullied or harassed*

Katie's Story - By Patty

Bully Police USA

Peer Abuse

The Wounded Child

StopRA - Get tough with bullies!

Tami McCandlish-Author Of Flying Ground

Staci's Place-Anti-Bullying Links

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