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DATING: Tools Every Woman Needs in Today's World
It's a whole new world for those getting back into the dating scene. Women want to know: Can I trust this dating site? Are those online adult dating services on the internet safe? How do I act on the first date? What are the rules?
You're tired of watching life pass you by as friends 'couple off', get married or re-married and start families. Or even worse, you're wasting away in a mediocre-at-best relationship because you think he's got "potential". You keep asking yourself, "What can I do?"
Here are some answers, compliments of popular marriage counselor, Kate Falken:
ONLINE DATING: DO OR DON'T? An Article by Kelly Liyakasa
Finding true love or a casual relationship can be a daunting task in the 21st century. The 9-5 workday sounds like an unattainable dream to most of us, and somehow everything we do in a 24-hour time span revolves around the Internet. Dating is no exception and online dating services -- straight, gay, Christian -- have come through when so many just want to give up on love.
What are the benefits of trying an online single dating site, you ask? Well, for starters, you might actually find someone who wants a relationship too. Ever been in that imperfect dating dilemma where your date seems to hang on your every word and three weeks down the line, doesn't even return your calls because he "needs his space?" It happens to most everyone who is single or who has been single.
6Star Reviews.com reports that one online dating service, True, screens their new members for criminal activity, so you won't end up with an America's Most Wanted protégé. For you gutsy group of singles, Chemistry is a pretty unique online dating site that matches you with Mr./Ms. Right based on scientific chemistry. Ok, so they say.
But, they do let you fill out fun profile questionnaires, with abstract questions such as "Give this book a name," letting your inner artist come through.
While you may have your doubts, remember that if you can pay your bills, trade stocks, shop for anything under the sun, and talk to friends online, why can't you meet your match on the Web as well? There is a singles pool in the millions within some of the best online dating services and those sick of blind dates and being the third wheel may find them beneficial.
Remember, just because the person of your dreams doesn't live down the block, it doesn't mean she's not worth it. They may very well be in Alaska. Weekend snowboarding soiree, anyone?
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Kelly Liyakasa is staff writer for 6StarReviews.com. Kelly Staller is site manager at 6StarReviews.com, "a site dedicated to giving YOU, the consumer, the best product and service reviews around."
THE ESSENTIAL TOOLS EVERY MODERN WOMAN NEEDS IN A MODERN DATING WORLD, An Article by Kate Falken
I get the opportunity to review a number of dating and relationships products that come across my desk, and all of them look the same.
They take you in hand and tell you how to talk, how to dress, how to act, what the latest dating rules are, and their mystery technique that is going to guarantee you success. It might be a secret technique, a way of standing out, or the knowledge of what men REALLY want, as if we didn't already know.
I was recently talking to Amy Waterman and she told me that she had something new to look at, and I really hoped it wouldn't be like the courses I had just described. I was pleasantly surprised!
At last, something that doesn't teach women to act like men or play dumb like bimbos. This is a course for real women, women with minds and intellects, women who want to attract men without compromising their integrity. Amy Waterman, author and host of How To Be Irresistible To Men, Seduction Genie, and a host of other relationships resources, has joined forces with Marie Forleo, author of Make Every Man Want You (Or Make Yours Want You More): How to Be So Damn Irresistible You'll Barely Keep from Dating Yourself!
Amy and Marie are both well-known names in the relationships market, and it is quite exciting to see what they have created. The result of their collaboration is MAKE EVERY MAN WANT YOU MORE, a course that answers the real questions that real women have about making dating, commitment, and modern relationships work. I loved listening to their lessons on hot topics like:
1. How to Be Irresistible Now
2. The Essential Tools Every Modern Woman Needs in a Modern Dating World
3. Keys to Creating Instant Attraction
4. How to Authentically Get and Keep His Attention
5. No-Fail Topics to Talk about with Any Man
6. Deadly Dating Mistakes that Turn Men Off
Marie and Amy have cleverly incorporated the concept of "living in the moment" or "living in the now" into their course. Authors and thinkers from Eckhart Tolle to Wayne Dyer have discussed this concept widely, and now Marie and Amy have taken this concept and applied it to the dating world.
It seems to work, and I was hooked on what they had to say! Most other courses train people to believe that having a relationship is what is going to bring you happiness. It's not. You are looking for a relationship because you want one, not because someone tells you that you need one. Marie tell us how your irresistibility lies in this moment, because this is where life happens. It's not about aiming towards creating happiness in your future; it is about making it happen in this moment.
This is a course that teaches the philosophy of being fully engaged in your life, being fully awake, and conscious.
This course is a refreshing look at attracting men because it doesn't start by trying to "fix" you. It doesn't assume you are "broken," which makes me want to read more. It asks you to acknowledge your past, but not to be defined by it. Every moment you are in is said to be brand new, has never happened before, and will never happen again. If you are able to get into this mindspace with Marie and Amy, real changes are going to take place.
Marie and Amy's MAKE EVERY MAN WANT YOU MORE answers the big questions about life and love from women who want more from their life and want a change to their dating success, but don't want to buy into the "rules" of dating, or play games. I almost feel that Marie and Amy really identify with their customers, rather than speaking down to them. I find that style really engaging, and a refreshing departure from courses that make you feel really bad about what you have done in the past. It's time to let your past go and live in the moment, according to Amy and Marie.
That's a great way to keep me interested.
When I took the time to get into this course and listen to the audio tracks and read through the workbook, it really came to me that this course has the potential to transform lives. It actually encourages readers to be more self-aware, more present in the moment, and more fully participative in life and relationships. Any course that combines these principles with dating advice is worth my recommendation. The audio quality is really nice and clear for an online audio course too, which really gets a thumbs up from me.
In addition to the 4.5 hours of audio, you get a 125-page workbook and bonus interviews, including an interview with podcaster and personal coach Emily McKay, better known for her work in X and Y On The Fly and Online Dating Profile Rating. They tackle some really interesting topics like dating over 50, dating as a single mom, and hearing your biological clock ticking.
MAKE EVERY MAN WANT YOU MORE Make is the solution you've been looking for if you are looking for ways to let your past go and focus on what needs to be done today. Making every man want you more starts today, and before the end of the first lesson, you'll realize why the future you dream of isn't so far away at all.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Kathleen Falken has been a marriage counselor and sex therapist for over 25 years. "Kate," as she is known to her friends, has said, "After decades of increasing divorce rates, I am finding that many more couples are seeking to save their marriages by rediscovering their love and intimacy and exploring each other's sexuality."
ASSESSING THE GUY'S LONG-TERM POTENTIAL ON A DATE An Article by Susan Dunn, the Dating Coach
These are tried and true. I have listened to hundreds of women talk about their dating experiences and horrors and when you've heard that many, you can see patterns.
One mistake many women make is to get into wishful thinking and give the guy too many second chances. Any guy who's mature enough to be dating, and emotionally intelligent enough to be emotionally available for a relationship (not just a booty call) should have certain things mastered. There are no excuses, and no exceptions.
No, you don't want to excuse him because he's (1) tired, (2) been hurt, (3) newly divorced, (4) awful cute, (5) very sexy, or (6) anything else.
If you hear bad noises at the beginning of the ride, it is only going to get worse. It's like hearing a rattle in the engine, and then 3 months later the transmission drops. Pay attention to those early warning signs.
Build up enough bad experiences and it can sour you. Who needs it? In emotional intelligence, we talk about "what fires together wires together." This is about brain science. If you have 3 relationships where it goes bad, those wires tend to get hooked together, and it means more will come. So take care of yourself. Wire up good experiences!
Here are some things to watch out for:
1. Not being mature about sex.
The big question is when, and that's a personal matter. If he doesn't respect your wishes, he isn't mature enough to be in a relationship, or isn't really interested in one. In other words, if it seems like that's all he's interested in, that's all he's interested in. Make sure you're reading on the same page about the intimacy if you get involved. You don't want it to mean something to you, and mean nothing to him.
2. Ogling other women when with you.
There is simply no excuse for this. It is the poorest of dating etiquette. If he can't control himself to avoid this (I don't care if "that's the way men are"), he doesn't have what it takes to have a relationship.
3. He doesn't seal the deal.
If he is taken with you on the first date, he should ask you for another date, preferably then, or the next day. He should certainly give you evidence that he enjoyed it - a txt msg or phone message the next day. If he waits too much longer, he isn't that interested and he's just calling you because he's found time on his hands, and doesn't know what else to do with himself, or he's ambivalent. What we're looking for here is honest enthusiasm.
4. Don't do that yourself.
Let him do the pursuing. If you enjoyed his company you will have indicated this on the date - it's hard to hide when you're really have a good time. But don't you be the one to txt msg the next day or call. And if he calls or emails, wait a while before you answer. (A man ready for a realtionship, loves the thrill of the hunt. Don't deprive him of this.)
5. Excessive flattery regarding your looks.
It's nice to hear you're beautiful or gorgeous or sexy. Once. Maybe twice. More than that and he's either that shallow, or he's saying what has worked for him in the past to seduce women. He should move rapidly to talking about inner qualities, interesting movies, the scenery, or something of mutual interest. Complimenting you on other qualities is nice, too - like how organized you are, or how well you've thought something through. You aren't just your body and you need to be getting evidence that he knows this. Otherwise, send your boobs to dinner and you stay home.
6. He's not a good conversationalist.
Marriage, I always say, turns out to be an 8-hour car ride with no radio. Hardly likely these days, but you get my point. This includes showing a sense of humor. Conversations need to be guided, and he should be able to do this as well as you can. They should also be give-and-take, with true interest in what the other person is saying. He should not talk AT you or deliver a lecture. This shows ego-centrism, lack of social skills, or both. It won't get any better. Marriage is also that car ride and you get a flat. Watch carefully how he handles little problems (wrong menu item, getting lost) during your date.
7. He talks about his ex, his broken heart and other traumas.
Stringers are usually ambivalent. They've been hurt and the wounds are still running sores. They don't want a relationship, they just want a woman (any woman) to ease the pain. They don't really know what they're doing except for wanting sympathy. If you feel a pull to be his therapist or his mother, or to "fix" him, resist it. If he can't talk about anything else but his sad past and heartbreak, do NOT mistake this for "vulnerability." What he is doing is talking about himself. He is not available and he is also extremely selfish.
8. He has only one functioning "brain."
And you know which one I'm talking about! Look for a man who is interested in relating to you both mentally and emotionally, not just physically.
9. He is too agreeable.
On the other hand, if he agrees with everything you say, he's trying to get you into bed. Easy is sleazy. Look for a man self-confident enough to have opinions (that he knows are opinion, not gospel truth). This applies too, to setting up the next date. If he can't orchestrate this, making the plans and showing initiative, there's something wrong. This is the tricky part if you've been married before, because it is true - once you're married, the woman does all this. But if he's just out of a marriage and still in that mindset, he isn't ready to date. He has to show you he's standing squarely on his own two feet, and willing and able to do the work of dating (i.e., a relationship).
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Susan Dunn, http://www.susandunn.cc, mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc. Individual coaching, Internet courses and ebooks http://tinyurl.com/6ny55. Author of "Dating Success Manual for Women," with special section on Internet dating. Susan serves as dating expert for a major website and she knows what works and what doesn't. Let a coach help you through the dating maze. It works!
FOR MORE EXPERT ADVICE ON DATING IN THE MODERN WORLD, SEE THESE:
THE NEW SEXUAL RULES: How to Make Every Man Want You More
Read The Complete Articles of Kate Falken, Marriage Therapist
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE: The Secret To Rescuing Your Marriage
WHY DO MEN FALL ASLEEP AFTER SEX? Questions & Answers
PANIC ATTACKS: A Sex Therapist Looks at the Solution
WHAT WOMEN WANT: Her Favorite Sexual Positions
Send E-Mail to: your_dream_team@hotmail.com
Copyright © 2007 Kate Falken. All Rights Reserved