Games Master.
BOOK CLUB NEWS
The book I am writing a book called Nintendo Powers you can buy it for three bucks. Friends get the book for free.
JAMES BOND THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH FOR N64 GUNS LIST
name:Unarmed. Modes 1st:none 2nd:none.
Wolfram P2K: 1st:single 2nd:silent
Meyer TMP: 1st:Auto 2nd:single
Frinesi Special 12: 1st:Pump 2nd:auto
Sussie SSR 4000: 1st:single 2nd:none
Deutsches SA 90: 1st:single 2nd:none
Frag Grenade: 1st:Timed 2nd:none
Raptor Magnumn: 1st:Single 2nd:Laser Pointer
Mustang .44: 1st:single 2nd:none
Deutsches Miss: 1st:single 2nd:Burst
MB Pow 30: 1st:auto 2nd:single
Soviet Ka-57: 1st:auto 2nd:Burst
Meyer Bullpup: 1st:Burst 2nd:auto
Duetschess M45: 1st:Auto 2nd:Burst
JOKE OF THE WEEK
"I'd like to be included in your next edition," said the man on the phone to the Guinness Book of World Records. "Why,what have you done?" came the reply. "I've completed a jigsaw in just under a week and on the box it says three to five years."
THE MYSTERY OF THE SUPER ANCIENT ARTIFACT
By Martin
The Alarm went off. The mysterious being with very fancy clothes ran with all his might to get to the spaceport to escape from the planet. A few hours later, the detective Luke was there, at the museum searching for clues to see to see if he could find any evidence. He was trying to figure out who stole the ancient Egyptian jewel of Ra. So far he couldn’t find anything. Unexpectedly the museum owner handed over a piece of fine cloth and said, “this cloth came from some clothes from Pluto”. So Luke went to the spaceport to catch a flight from Pluto. While he was about half way to Pluto the ship stalled. The captain went to check the engine. He said everything was all right with the engine. Then they heard a cutting noise from the bottom of the cargo compartment. “I know what is going on, some space pirates have a grabbing beam on the top of their ship and are trying to invade our ship” Luke said.
Then a space pirate blasted down the door and the real battle began. The pirate called his crew. They attacked with vibro blade out and started fighting the characters. It took a long time to kill one pirate and Luke was starting to lose his power too. Suddenly, the captain decided to join the fight and took out his gun and started shooting the pirates. But that did not work. Then a Uranian from Uranus came and used his secret power, a secret deflector shield. He started to tell the captain how to do a special move. He said “you’ll shoot your gun at the pirates they’ll deflect the shot with their swords and I’ll deflect that shot back to the pirates and that shot will be so powerful it will start to knock them back” he finished. Luke caught on to the plan too and started to shoot his blaster gun and the pirates deflected them as planed. When the pirates were dead they celebrated a little.
The captain asked what the Uranian’s name was. He said it was Octogota. Luke then saw a movement from out behind him them. Another pirate attacked. The men used their attacks for the same strategy. It worked but Octogota’s shield cracked and purple goo came out. His shield came off and he told them his last words. “The shot became so powerful it broke my shield and when my shield brakes it is a sign I’m about to die”. Then he did.
“At least the pirates are dead”, said the captain.
“Yes but…Octogota deserves a decent funeral”, Luke said sadly.
“But first lets get space helmets” Said the captain.
After that, they were dumping all the bodies of the dead pirates into the open hole in the space ship. “Last but not least” said Luke, “Octogota”. The captain put flowers in Octogota’s hand and threw him off the ship too. The ride was peaceful from then on.
When Luke arrived on Pluto he went to the place that made clothes that he found on Earth’s museum. He went into the Fancy Color Clothes Shop and asked who went to the shop in the last three days. The clerk said that, that was classified information. Oh great thought Luke, at this point anybody could be the suspect. Luke tried a different tactic.” Do you know who I am!” said Luke
“No”, the clerk said.
“I am the clothes inspector”. Luke flashed back.
Like I care said the Plutanian. So the last idea Luke had was to show her his badge. Luke didn’t want to show her because this meant he would be giving his identity away. Looking at the badge the Plutanian looked scared. She fished out the records from the main computer. Luke scanned the list. “Ah ha” said Luke there three suspects, John A. a Martian, Mark G. a Plutanian and D.Kile a Jupiranian. So, Luke thought Mark G. is a suspect here hmmmm, I’ll go visit him tomorrow.
The next morning at 7:00 am Luke called Mark G’s. house…ring…ring…ring…ring. On the fourth ring someone picked up the phone. “Hello” it was the maid!
“Is Mark G. there”? Said Luke
The maid said “no”.
“Where is he”? Luke asked.
“He is in the hospital”, said the maid.
“Is he hurt”? asked Luke
“Yes” answered the maid.
“You said he is in the hospital”, Luke said.
“Right” said the maid “Good-bye”.
Luke rushed off to the hospital. When he got there he asked the doctor where Mark’s room is. “Down the stairs to your left” said the doctor.
“Thanks doctor” Luke said.
“Wait there is more” said the doctor “after that left take another right and you’ll be there”. After Luke navigated through the maze of the hospital he finally arrived at Marks’s room. Luke asked where Mark was 6 days ago. He said he was in the hospital with his wife. Mark’s wife, who was sitting by him, said that was true. But Luke was not sure if Mark and his wife were telling the truth. Luke quizzed the doctor for information. The doctor proved that the information was true he even looked at the sign in sheet. He never saw Mark’s name checked out he was there 9 days before the crime. So that takes one suspect off the list. Now thought Luke I’m going to Mars to see John A.
Luke went to the spaceport for a one way trip to Mars with no stops or interference. When he got there the first place he went to when he arrived on Mars was the restaurant, in the spaceport to eat some dehydrated soup. While eating his soup Luke saw this guy with some skis. Luke asked, “where are you going?”
“Well first I’m going to have a bite to eat and then I’m going to race John on the ski hill”, Said the man
“John A.! Where is he?” said Luke
“Oh at the ski resort practicing” said the Martian. So Luke went to the ski resort. He found John practicing on the slopes. Luke stopped John and started questioning him. “Where were you 7days ago”. Asked Luke.
“Why do you want to know?” Answered John.
“Tell me”. Said Luke.
“On this planet”. John responded.
“Where is your spaceship?” Luke asked.
“In the spaceport repair shop.” John A. said.
Luke went to the spaceport repair shop. And yes John’s ship was there. Then a man stepped out of the shadows a head hunter thought Luke. The head hunter chased Luke throughout the city. Finally he stopped in front of the spaceship rental store. Luke thought he had lost the head hunter. He started to sign the release forms for one of the spaceships. The head hunter a found Luke. Before Luke could fill out the forms, he got freaked out and jumped onto one of the spaceships and blasted off. “Hey you forgot to pay the rent!” The clerk said angrily.
“I’ll return it some day.” Luke answered. Luke crossed off John A. from his list.
Next stop was Jupiter. Luke scanned D.Kile’s name into the computer. His record came up. He lived in Great Red Spot Lane. Luke zoomed in to the Red Spot and drove down to the core of Jupiter. When Luke got to the landing bay he checked again where D.Kile lived. Then he went to D.Kile’s house. Luke rang the doorbell to D.Kile’s house. Kile’s cook answered the door. “Do you know where Kile is?” Asked Luke. “He is at the gas station.” Answered the cook.
On the way to the gas station Luke saw a food delivery boy going to D.Kile’s house with a delivery of human heads! A killer thought Luke but then Luke convinced himself it was nothing because he thought they were for scientific reasons. When Luke got to the gas station he saw D.Kile and scanned up a warrant on his computer so that he could arrest D.Kile. Luke knew it was D.Kile because he was the last one on the list. Then Luke saw a cop chase after D.Kile. Darn thought Luke someone beat me to D.Kile. Luke chased after D.Kile. But Luke took a wrong turn and came out to a back alley where there was this crazy organ seller who tried to stab Luke to get his organs. Luke set his gun to 6 hour stun. After Luke stunned the organ seller he saw the policeman. Luke followed him. When Luke got to the back alley Luke saw the policeman dead, with no visible marks of assult. Then Luke heard a strange noise. Luke looked behind himself and saw D.Kile with his tongue sticking out to suck out Luke’s insides. Luke then pressed the police call on his hand held computer. The police came and arrested D.Kile. But still another mystery to solve. Where did D.Kile hide the jewel? Luke had an idea where the jewels were. He told the police to go to D.Kile’s house and cut open the dead human heads. The cops found the jewel their and sent it back to the museum. As for Luke, he went back to Earth and got an award from the master of the universe.
The End.
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