EX-WIFE/NEW WIFE CLUB
EVEN WITH DIVORCE EXWIVES AND NEW WIVES CAN GET ALONG!
This web site is about my experience on how I (the ex-wife)and my ex-husband's wife get along. Everything didnt start out peachy. Here is my story.
My ex-husband and I were married for 3 years and it was really rough, we rushed into things to quick. In that three years of marriage we had a child and it didnt get any better. We were not ready for marriage and definitley not ready for a baby. To make a long story short our marriage ended up in divorce.
A couple years of divorce he started seeing a women that he was seeing before me and they started a relationship again. I wasnt jealous but I was angry. I (a single mother) was doing things that a mother should never do!! I was going out all the time, not caring for myself or my child. My family does not live close and I had noone except for my son.
My ex-husband started seeing Lisa (lets call her that for privacy). She is a very good person and at the time would not even try with them. I was mean, angry, resentful and jealous. I wanted him to be as misrable as I was. It wasnt fair to me that I was going through all this stuff and he was happy before I was. I hated knowing that she was a better mom (because of the stuff I was doing at the time). I hated it that my son was with them on the weekends. I was a very jealous, self centered person!!
I would get mad over every little thing and make every little thing into big things. I wouldnt feed him dinner on the nights his dad got him because he picked him up at 6:00 p.m. and would tell him that his dad could take him to Mcdonalds or something. Hoping that it would cause an argument between the two when his dad told him no. My mind set during this whole time was horrible!! I would give him lots of candy before he would go over there hoping he would be very hiper! He was ordered to pay child support and he did but anytime anything happen with it my son would want something and I would tell him to ask his dad because I didnt have the money because his dad didnt pay his child support. I hated my ex and his new wife and I never thought that would ever change. I actually wouldnt even think about it for a second.
A few life changing events happend to me and It made me think was I actually doing the right thing? How was all this fighting affecting my child? Was it fair to him? Was it fair to my ex-husband was it fair to my ex-husbands wife? Was it fair to her kids? Was it fair to me? The stress was overwhellming and something had to be done!!!
All it took was the cardinal rule and then everything was easy after that! My relationship with my son has blossomed, my ex-husband and I can stand to be in the same room together and speak and be friends, my ex-husbands spouse and I are great friends actually we are best friends and her kids are like my own!! The stress is gone! And all it started with is one rule!!!
THE CARDINAL RULE
In this world of fast fixes, we are often asked if there is one simple rule for getting along with an ex or their spouse. Thinking long and hard about this,I have come to the conclusion that, yes, there is.
The cardinal rule for getting along with an ex and his spouse is:
Never ask your ex or his spouse to do something you are not willing to do.
This sounds simple until you start to analyze it. People who don't like each other can care less if they treat each other fairly. So why is this the cardinal rule of getting along? Who cares if you get along with an ex or his wife?
YOUR KIDS!!!
Divorced couples who don't have kids together rarely speak to each other after the divorce is final. Your kids are the one and only reason why you should emphasize being fair to an ex spouse or his wife. Your kids are the ones who are hurt by your poor behavior. They hear it, they see it, they feel the tension, and it only makes their adjustment to your separation even more difficult.
It's actually the Golden Rule--Treat others how you would like to be treated, but most people don't feel this statement applies to ex-spouses or your ex's new spouse. It does it applies to every one!
i have a forum room where people can post things and talk about this issue. Please feel free to post thoughts and lets fix this because the only ones we are huring are our children!
|
Post A New Topic |
|
View Message Board |
|
Search The Internet |
 Free Webpages at Webspawner.com |
| Emphasis on Moms |
Yahoo Quick Search
Send E-Mail to: mailwmr5@aol.comCopyright © 2000 Sabrina. All Rights Reserved