My Testimony (page one)
I suppose I will never get over what the HOLY GHOST did to me and for me on May13,1989.Actually I'm sure of it,He changed my life forever.Though I have failed so many times since that wonderful day God has never failed me.
I was nineteen years old,I had gotten married one week before my sixteenth birthday.My wife and I had a baby eight months after our marriage,a beautiful little boy,God was so gracious,I didn't know how to be a daddy,you see my dad left me and my two brothers and my mother when I was thirteen. For years before the split I remember wondering each day would dad be home today,and if so would he be drinking.Some days he didn't come home at all.Sometimes there would be days,when we wouldn't know where he was.Then the day came my brothers and I were home for the summer from school,I was thirteen Scott was twelve,and Jimmy was just ten.I saw dad getting out of his company truck and a man drive off in it.Then dad walked over to his personal truck in the driveway and got in and left,with us standing in the window watching.I didn't see my dad for thirty days after that,not a word.It broke our hearts and caused great much pain in a little boys heart and life at thirteen,not to mention my two younger brothers.What hurt the most,looking back,was that we didn't know what had happened.I don't blame my dad for anything that has happened to me in my life,I believe though it influenced my path in life greatly.I don't regret my childhood marriage,God helped us and looked out for us.We did the best that we knew how.
Know as time moves on after the marriage at 15 I became addicted to alcohol,and drugs.The next two and a half years seem know like an eternity gone by.So much came upon me in such a short time.I could not be faithful in my vows to my wife,I never even tried,it just didn't seem like I ever could,so I didn't.At the age of 17 I was arrested for DWI and several other minor traffic charges.This was a wake up call but I never even flinched.I kept right on drinking and druging and getting more bound by the devil every day.My wife even left me that same night,but I begged and whinned and cried and manipulated her to come back,and she did.Then one night in a drunken stupor,she sitting across from me,and I holding a loaded shotgun,looked down at the safety,and wondered if it was on or off,I didn't know,so I pulled the trigger to find out,the blast missed her face by about 12 inches,tore trough the wall into the babies bedroom.I was in shock for a moment,I jumped up to run to his room,then as I reached the door I heard what sounded like water running out of a faucet,I just knew it was blood gushing out of my precious little boy only a year and a half old.I was terrified to turn the light on,then he cried out,I flipped the light on and he was standing up in the crib soaking wet from water trapped in the ceiling and running down on top of him,the shot had went into the ceiling over the crib.I had never been so terrified in my life.
A few months pass and the landlord asks us to move because of the drinking and loud parties.
So we get a better place,I get a better job,and things are going pretty good,or I guess that's what the enemy wanted me to believe.I end up working with a cocaine dealer and a lot of other shady characters.Drinking and drugs around all the time.We would leave to go to work at 6:00am and be high at 6:15 and stay that way all day.For the most part I smoked pot,and drank,but was up for anything.I found out just how little control I had over my life the week of July 4th 1988,that's when cocaine entered my life.
I had been a terrible daddy and husband up to this point but had no idea what lie ahead.The day I tried cocaine in the parking lot at lunch I fell in love,that is all I could think about,doing that next bump.Since I worked with the dealer,and he lived about 6-8 blocks from my home availability was no problem.Aside from cocaine,I at this same time began to abuse vaulum,I didn't know the two were working against each other,therefore I was overloading myself,I was surely headed for a collision of sorts.I begin to become violently aggitated about were and how I was going to get more,sitting in front of the glass storm door the devil tried to convince me to just jump up and run thru the door.Once while going thru withdrawl my wife and I got into a terrible fight,she went to the hospital and I nearly,and should have went to jail.She and I had a lot of arguments about the drinking and drugs nothing ever did any good.
Thank God for a big black man named Harold Cherry that nobody could stand because he was,"always pushing his religion on you," those are their words,not mine.I know why they could not stand to be around Harold,it was the Spirit of God.
There came a day by,and for no other reason than that it was ordered of the Most High God,that this man told me he was going to be praying for me.I said,"I would appreciate that,"this is when my trouble truly began.
My cocaine abuse went out of control,for several weeks.I begin to show phsyical signs of addiction.I begin to use more and more as if I was never going to get it again.The devil was trying to drag my soul down to the pit.I could not stop it,I had become helpless.
Then one night after being on a beinge all day at work and leaving work headed for home,I never made it home that day,home was in sight,and I turned and went the other way,so with a case of beer and running low on cocaine I went toward the city.After some time that night,of drinking and driving around and snorting cocaine I don't know how to explain it,but my mind just snapped.I knew where I was and where I wanted to go but my brain could not make my body respond,one thought after another boggled and overwhelmed the next thought,I was lost in my mind,is the best way I can describe it,and is how I have described it for 14 years.As I drove that night I lost control of my vehicle and went out of the road at 60mph,I slid around and around in someones yard and thank God I didn't hit anything.The car came out on the other side of the property and the front tires hit the hard surface of the road.I just gunned it and got back on the road,and this is when things started to change,you see before the car was straight in the road I said,"Lord,something has got to change."
To read more about the day Jesus Saved me and changed my life forever look for "My Testimony (page two)"
I want you to know that the Lord Jesus Christ cares,nobody else to speak of may seem to care but God does.It does not matter what you have or have not done,Jesus can remove all you guilt and your shame.To find out more or for prayer,just e-mail me.
In Christ,bro.Jeff
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