SEPTEMBER 2003
September 2nd,
Dear all,
I just want to say hi to everyone who’s e-mailed me recently (Granny, Phil, Johnny) and say sorry that I don’t have time to reply individually at the moment as they’re actually making me do work, can you believe it? However, I’ll be getting YahooBB internet connection in my apartment, probably within the week, so this isn’t a permanent thing.
The first day of real work has been quite hectic. I’ve had to do four forty minute introductions today, and I’ll have to tutor two kids in Speech Contest after school today (yeah, they don’t tell you about that bit in the contract!). Speech contest goes on for the next fortnight, so I think I’m going to be a bit tired ;(
The kids are hilarious. They’re much more forward than I’d expected, and some of the boys have already sneaked up and grabbed me by the love handles or poked me in the back to find out how much fat I have! One of the kids in the second grade acts up really badly, and just sort of dances at the back of the class. Mrs Takahashi, the senior English teacher declared “He is cockroach”. Enough said. I’ve not only tried to contend with the kids, but with a faulty microphone and a temperamental computer, which has made my introduction a little sketchy at best. I’ve also had to mark some of their work today. They get to ask me questions in their “self assessment”, and these have ranged from the bland “do you like Japanese food” to the rather disturbing “What do you want?”. I get a lot of attention for having “gold” hair and being “cooool” (don’t ask me why they think this, noone else ever has!).
I’ve signed up to do “Eikiwa”, i.e. teaching adult learners, for a bit of extra cash. I think what I earn will pay for my Japanese lessons, which are moving very slowly to say the least. I’m a little worried that my teacher is going to do her best to squeeze every possible penny from us. Unfortunately Jeff is now thinking abut quitting the class, which will make it much more expensive for me.
Anyway, I’m going to sign off now. Its Josh’s 25th today, so if I ever get out of school, I’ll head into Omiya with him and the gang for a little celebration. Anyway, I’ll try to write soon, best, Andrew.
September 5th - Eikiwa
Scarily, I'm starting to work almost as long every day as the Japanese. Yesterday I got to work at 8.15am, school finished at 4.15, I stayed behind to do Speech Contest with the kids, and then excused myself at 5.00 because I had other things to do. Why should I feel guilty about leaving nearly an hour over time? I'd been tutoring some kid who, though he's kind at heart, just doesn't listen to any of the advice I give him. Every day we go over his speech line by line, and I try to get him to speak with an English rhythm, but by the next day he's forgotten it and we have to start all over again from square one. The kids who do Speech Contest seem t ohave been selected for their ability in memorising words, but not for speaking English naturally. It's frustrating.
In the evening I did another hour and a half of adult teaching. Ricky (from Belfast) and I turned up thinking that we could stretch out an hour and a half of English learning by asking the class to introduce themselves and to tell us how they wanted to be taught. Unfortunately after 45 minutes this plan had been stretched as far as it could go, and we began to shoot each other panicked glances! Luckily one of the women suggested that we talk about where we come from. Phew!! I was able to roll out my Jiko Shokai (self introduction) from Junior High for the umpteenth time. We even taught them the legend of the Giant's Causeway, why they should visit Northern Ireland, and how they should forget everything the media have told them about the Troubles! Wonderful.
I tell a lie. What really saved us was the fact that they were a bunch of old dears who wanted nothing more than to receive attention and be allowed to talk about their previous foreign travels. They also loved it when we said that our mother's cried when we left Ireland for Japan. Sorry for the exploitation mum!
Next time I might teach them some idioms like "we're taking the piss", "we pulled this lesson out of our ass", "our teaching is a right sketch", or something along those lines! Still, I don't feel too guilty, they're only paying us a pittence.
September 8th
It’s been a while since I wrote, and this’ll probably be the trend from now on, as my schedule is chock-a-block. I’m not only teaching, but making lesson plans, and as I’ve never had any training for making lesson plans it’s both difficult and time-consuming at the moment. I’ve also got the extra bother of two lots of Eikiwa classes (one and a half hours on Thursday night, two and a half on Saturday). The women that I teach have so far been happy with what I’ve done (i.e. mainly talk about myself!), but as I’m not that interesting a person, I’m going to have to start actually teaching them from now on! I’m also still trying to learn Japanese, though the number of hours I put into that has diminished hugely.
On Saturday night I went into Ikebukuro (district of Tokyo) for a reunion with some of my NOVA friends. It was planned to be a reunion for Maki and Reina primarily, who are leaving to study in England, but unfortunately Maki, and another girl Mari were both ill and couldn’t attend. In the end it was just myself, Nao, Kyoko and Reina at the Dubliners Pub. I’m willing to bet money that I was the only Irish person in the Irish pub! Anyway, a good night was had by all and I absolutely stuffed myself with food. I resolved to go to the gym today, but that hasn’t quite worked out for me (again). I yearn for the days when I was nearly a stone lighter and going to the gym every other day – curse finals!
Anyway, I’ve got my YahooBB installed finally, so I can update this page whenever I have time. You’ll also find that I’ve added some photos to the August II section. I still haven’t had the heart to go and spend over £200 on a DigiCam, so I’m afraid that these photos were taken before my disposable ran out. I’m feeling quite uninspired at the moment, so I’m going to sign off now before I do any more literary damage to my journal.
COULD I BE THE FAMOUSEST, MOST GREATESTEST TEACHER IN THE WORLD EVER? (SEPTEMBER 10TH)
A few days have gone past since my last update, so I’m going to do an update from school (shhh, don’t tell anyone). Over the last few days my fame seems to have spread like wildfire. First of all, when I was teaching Eikiwa on Saturday, some old man handed me a local newsletter with MY FACE across the front of it!! It seems that everywhere I go now people are giving me knowing glances, or pointing and saying in Japanese (“there’s that weird kid from the front of the newspaper”) or some such. Furthermore, when I arrived at work this morning I was given the front page of the school newspaper with a colour expose of me and my reasons for coming to Japan. Every kid in the school has received one of these.
I’m also getting stalkers. Some of the girls at this school invite me to eat lunch with them, which of course, it would be rude to refuse to do. Unfortunately it means eating lunch with thirty screaming kids in 35 degrees plus of steaming humidity and child sweat, and being spoken at in Japanese (they’ve only been learning English for six years, you understand!). I’m reliably informed by my colleagues that the girls think I’m “Kakoii” (Cool) or “looks hansamu” (figure it out), which might be great if the girls weren’t 12-15, and had only seen foreigners before in American movies. So, I’m receiving a lot of unwanted attention from small girls who ask “do you think my friend is pretty” – I mean, what am I meant to say? Do I break their hearts by telling them they resemble a warthog sucking vinegar through a straw, or do I scare them by announcing my unrequited love?
Then yesterday, the substitute English teacher suggested that we might teach the children how to sing “Stand by me” in class (that’s the Ben E. King version, not Oasis). Stupidly, I offered to get my guitar from home, thinking that I’d be told “Mmm, musokashi” again, but to my horrification, the teacher thought it was a good idea. So, I thought you might be interested to know that I’ve been performing free concerts at Seiga J.H.S. of late, and that, owing to my growing popularity, I’m thinking of becoming a solo artist and releasing an LP.
Several things have struck me recently. Firstly, the kids aren’t disciplined in any way by the teachers. Most of them behave of course, but one or two (e.g. said Cockroach) just won’t shut up in class. I tread carefully, and try to shoot the teacher surprised glances in class, but there seems to be no system of punishment. If I’d behaved like that in Sullivan I would’ve been cracked over the head by Salisbury, spat at by Shuker, or possibly punched by Armstrong. Just to emphasize, Cockroach actually told Mrs. Takahashi to “F*** Off” in class today, to which her comeback was “you cause big trouble, but you are only small boy and you look like a girl” hahaha! Secondly, the blind utter stupidity of some of the children. I speak more Japanese after six weeks of osmosis than the English of some of these kids who have been learning since they were in Primary school. There’s one kid in second grade who looks like Private Pile from Full Metal Jacket, and just drools at the front of the class. Now I know what Ricky means when he says that Japan doesn’t really care for the physically or mentally retarded.
Anyway, I’ve got Eikiwa to do tomorrow, so I’m going to surf the web for interesting articles to get them to read. Who knows, the guitar might just save my life again. P.S. check out the entry for 8th September at www.kindofcrap.com, unless you are under 18 years old, or are weak of stomach. It's absolutely filthy. See you…
SEPTEBER 13TH
We had our Speech Contest yesterday, which I treated as a mini-celebration, as it heralded the end of two hours of unpaid extra work after school everyday in un-air-conditioned rooms. The Japanese teachers get huge Christmas bonuses for all the extra hours that they put in, but the JETs don’t, so it seems a bit unfair to me. I’ve been working ludicrous hours recently, and I was hoping that they would be toned down a bit after Speech Contest.
The speeches themselves were largely ode’s to the importance of understanding other people’s cultures and how this makes you a much better person etc etc. I’m not convinced that these poor kids understood a lot of what they were saying. Some of the less fortunate children couldn’t remember their speeches at all, and the entire room had to sit through the excruciating attempts of the Contest organisers to prompt the kids through the remainder of their speech.
Out of thirty-four kids, the girl I’d been tutoring came fourth! Shiraoka Town also got four of the top eight places, which I’m not sure is a credit to the children, the JETs, or the militant English teachers! Top place went to a child from the school that I’m starting at next month. All this means that Speech Contest is well and truly NOT over for me! The top four students go onto the State championships, and if they’re good enough, the all-Japan championships. Curse my brilliance (I’m joking, I’m joking!!). Fiddlesticks.
The other event of the day was the rather hideous and scary growth of a giant red blotch across my right arm, that resembled some sort alien infection from a 1950’s B-movie. It started off as an itchy mark, but grew into this deep red, painful and hot circle. Actually, it was more like a seismic chart, with a deep red circle about 5cm in diameter encased in a light red outer circle about 10cm wide. I’ve been an insect magnet since I arrived, my blood being like some sort of foreign delicacy, but this has been the worst so far. Everyone started telling me I should go to the hospital, and I had visions of those people who get stung by bees, have an allergic reaction and die. Anyway, I persevered, and the mark is less angry looking today. The last thing I need is to get the same thing on my nose and have a huge red circle covering my face like a target practice sheet!
For anyone who's interested, a picture of me on my friend Nao's website:
http://www.myfinepix.com/pic-j/mytrunk/naocampari
This isn't a link, just cut and paste it, and don't be lazy!
Monday 15th
I spent Sunday in Kamakura, famous beach resort for the Japanese, and a must se collection of old shrines and historic paraphernalia for foreign tourists. Kyoko acted as tour guide for myself and some people she used to work with (Bob, Andy, James, Yumiko), so I got a whistle-stop tour of all the famous sights. Firstly, I wish I’d bought my didgital camera, or had at least brought a disposable, as once there, disposables were three times the regular price for a captive market. So I didn’t take any pictures of anything. Again. I will get that camera, just as soon as I’ve paid for a return flight to the UK. Half my monthly salary.
The highlight was the DaiButsu (big Buddha) which is absolutely enormous. I don’t know how they managed to make something like this in 1252, but its pretty amazing (see the link at the bottom). You can go inside the Buddha and see how the sheets of bronze were welded together. There’s also a pair of giant Buddha shoes (on the wall opposite the Buddha) for what reason I cannot imagine! I wish I could give a better run down of the history of the town and the reason for it having so many Zen temples, but I just couldn’t take it all in. There’s also a really beautiful Japanese garden in Kamakura, but unfortunately we couldn’t tour it as the heavens opened at that point (a side-effect of the typhoon which has killed dozens in Korea). Anyway, Dad, if you are planning on visiting Japan, it’s somewhere that you might like to go for a day trip.
As usual, Japan offered both culture and zaniness in equal measures. I tasted sweet potato and green tea ice-cream, almost touched a turtle (I’ve never seen one in the wild before), watched a ceremony involving holy men wearing hilariously oversized black clogs, and was racially abused on the way home by a drunk old man (he started gesticulating about the size of my nose). All in a days work!
Sunday 21st September
Sorry, I am still alive, despite Japan’s best attempts to dispose of me! Yesterday the greater Tokyo area was rocked by an earthquake measuring 5.5 on the richter scale. I think a few people were hurt when a temple wall collapsed on them. Many had been predicting the “big one” this week, something to do with changing magnetic waves in the air or something. The method had successfully predicted the two most recent earthquakes before this one. When it hit I was planning my Eikiwa in Mr. Donuts with Ricky. The whole place rocked back and forth for about half a minute, but amazingly nothing
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