November 2004
9th
Well, it strikes me that I haven’t even written something for November yet. Anyway, I changed schools, and change has been rather nice, getting me away from that horrific secretary beast who glared at me with hatred for the previous 2 months. Amusingly, Mr Yamaguchi unveiled a grand scheme whereby the AETs must submit a weekly schedule so that the number of classes they assist in can be monitored. Hilariously, this is clearly a direct result of my indiscretions and an attempt to shackle my wandering feet. Much to my chagrin, I noticed that my previous school had caught wind of this plan, and more than doubled the number of classes for Alexis in her first week to prove there was no wrong-doing on their end. I don’t think I’ve ever even had as much as 20 classes in one week, and was lucky to even get 10 in the time I was there.
Anyway, so, what is there to write about? Another 4 years of Bush. You want to hear my opinion on that? No, thought not. My greatest concern is that the religious right are going to turn the clocks back on the enlightenment, fight to ban the teaching of evolution in schools, and accuse scientists of witchcraft and heresy! Anyway, speaking of witchcraft (seamless link) check out the December edition of the Southern African Humanities journal. You may need to tunnel into the catacombs of some musty old specialist Archaeology library…if you survive the spiders and giant boulders, you’ll be able to read an abridged version of my dissertation, hi-jacked by my supervisor for his own career (only joking!), on hallucinogenic drugs and their relation to parietal art from Southern African Prehistory. Riveting stuff. The only time I’ll ever be published on paper, so savour it.
Well, that about wraps it up for now. If anyone wants to offer me a job, any job, please be my guest.
17th
On failing anything else to talk about, revert to the weather. A weird year, and it keeps getting weirder. After the hottest summer on record, and the greatest number of typhoons making "landfall", and a series of mega-earthquakes that lasted over a week, we now seem to have skipped autumn altogether. It reached about the middle of November with relatively warm temps (20-25, a Northern Ireland summer), the trees didn't turn red, and now we appear to have turned a corner into winter. Anyway, a few snaps from rural Saitama which are almost, but not quite, autumn. After being non-plussed by the flowers during summer, they've all suddenly appeared in Shiraoka now. Don't try to tell me Global Warming isn't real!
Oh, and before I forget, just take a look a Shiraoka's gorgeous and tasteful Christmas decorations. Whilst I do prefer the more traditional decorated tree (as opposed to a cylindrical pole with tinsel attached in conicular style), there is something wonderfully tacky about it all that reminds me of the inflatable plastic Santa Claus and polystyrene snow of yesteryear.
23rd
Had a great time at the weekend with a bunch of JETs from an obscure little town on the Tobu-Isesaki Line. These poor guys have to change from the Tobu-Isesaki at Kuki, just to get onto my line (the Utsonomiya) to access Tokyo. So, unless they have a really good reason for travelling to Tokyo, they just don’t bother. It was a nice group of Americans, Australians, Canadians, a chap from Singapore, and even a lass from Enniskillen!
Anyway, we met up to go bowling, something that I’ve only done half a dozen or so times ever. Had a good time slandering our jobs in a local Udon restaurant…I mean seriously, they were saying exactly the same things as me without any kind of prompting, which was so vindicating it was euphoric. Right down to the “I have so little to do, that when I’m finally asked to do something I’m so surprised that I react with outright hostility to the task at hand”. The girl from NI has more or less had enough, she told me. She has a PhD, a PGCE, and had already taught French for a year in Enniskillen before coming out here. She said it had always been a dream to experience Japan and do something different. However, she won’t be re-contracting. She isn’t asked to teach any classes, the only thing she ever does is mark tests. She says she can’t stand the lack of pub culture and the distance from Tokyo. Poor thing.
Back to my bowling prowess. I bowled the best game of my life (even if a mere 138), scuppering the competition, only to bowl the worst score of the match (78) in the following game. Perhaps drinking potato-based Chuu-hi alcohol didn’t help my focus or balance much. Yeah folks, there’s definitely a lesson in here somewhere about drinking and driving.
So after the elation of communicating at a normal pace, with reasonable people behaving under a similar system of logic, it was back to the daily grind. I get in, take a look at my schedule, realise my only task for the day is to make a listening tape for an English test. Sigh heavily. Walk over to the corner to make a pot of coffee. I thought I’d been providing a quality service by making coffee, given that everyone always dashes for a cup as soon as it’s ready. Today however, I could hear a little voice behind my back:
Teacher A: “Can you tell him, because I can’t speak English”
Teacher B: “Erm, Andrew, eh, well, you see…this coffee is for the teachers who sit at this desk…”
Andrew: “You mean I can’t drink it?”
Teacher B: “It’s for the teachers who sit at this desk.”
Such a welcoming bunch really, aren’t they. Sheesh.
31st
Last update for November, my my how the weeks fly past. So little of note even to record. A few pics from Friday night’s dinner with the Aikido bunch; 70% are older than my parents, and 95% can kick my ass. We’ve had a few neophytes join the group recently, so as rank is commensurate with experience, I’m no longer kneeling at the cold, windy far end of the dojo, but can now look down my nose at a couple of pure bloods who cower in the wake of my Ki. Funny how beating up old farts in white pyjamas turned out to be the most rewarding experience I’ve had in Japan. The dojo is probably the only place in the country that I can go, where people don’t make adjustments to their behaviour on account of my appearance, and for that alone I am truly grateful.
It seems to be a particularly difficult sport to get good at. There are only 2 belt colours, black and white, so you’re considered a novice until you become an expert! My good friend Mr Takamatsu is president of the club and has been practicing 3 times a week for 7 years. He’s quite powerful, but still wears a white belt. The guest teacher who comes in to tutor from a main club in Tokyo it turns out, trains and tutors 8 times a day! “We learn Aikido so as we never have to use it” they say. I say “I already knew how not to use Aikido before I came here!”. Another surprising fact, is that the small old guy with the white belt who I thought was a bit wick (I mean, imagine being a senior citizen and still only being a white belt, guffaw!) turns out to be a black belt in Karate and Judo. Guess he’s just picking up a few extra options for when he takes on all the world’s armies…
The other big thing now is the Proficiency Test this Sunday. I was so ready for this test about 2 months ago; I’d have absolutely annihilated it. I’ve just got so bored of learning the same old stuff again and again now, and I’m convinced that I’m forgetting more than I’m picking up. Haven’t really done any serious work for the last month now, so I hope the big day isn’t a disaster. I’ve become very good at picking up on the subtleties of grammar points through multiple choice questions, and have become excellent at reading about 300 (seemingly randomly selected) Kanji characters. My listening is also fairly well developed compared to the same time last year. The challenge for the New Year will be to come out of my shell and actually start using my Japanese with a little more confidence, as well as learn how to write the Kanji, vital skills of which neither is examined in this test!!
And so, only a few weeks ‘til my flight home. This is the best bit. I’ve got so much self-indulgence planned. First off, wall-to-wall movies and trashy food on a 14hr Virgin Atlantic flight (assuming they haven’t scrapped that service since I last flew). Then stop off in London for a few tanked up days with old friends. After that, back to the sunny Bangor sea-side to trawl the half derelict haunts of my youth. I’m determined to gorge myself continuously on fish and chips drowned in vinegar and ketchup, having had an irrational craving for this for months. I’m gonna fit in a years worth of TV in 3 weeks and only turn away to wolf down the festive grub. I’ll lie on the sofa more slothfully than any man (including Homer Simpson) before me. I’ll gleefully walk all the days dirt around the house with my shoes on, mix all the different classes of rubbish together in the same bin, set fire to every pair of chopsticks and miscellaneous Japan related paraphernalia in the house. And before I go to bed at night, I’ll be able to take my jumper off without putting my fist through the light-bulb. Heaven.
PS, if Santa is listening, could he do me a little favour: Simpsons Box Set Season 4, Little Britain DVD (I’ve heard good things about it), possibly some “I’m Alan Partridge” or The Office too, o katte itadakitain desu kedo… PS Amazon do free delivery on big orders, so why not beat the Xmas rush and order early!
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