NOVEMBER
November 1st – “As I walk through the valley of the shadow of Jeff”
Wow, how the months are whizzing past! I’m going to attempt an update from my new school, despite the danger inherent given that there are English teachers in the staff-room. This is just about the first chance I’ve had to sit down since I last wrote – it’s been a really tough week. My days have been jam-packed with classes, and most of those classes I’ve been speaking virtually non-stop (e.g. classes where I must improvise a scenario/ self-introductions/ speaking tests).
I’ve failed to warm to the new school. Partly I guess it’s because it’s larger than the others, so there are more teachers, and a higher level of anonymity therefore. The teachers are slowly beginning to try and speak to me, but it’s taken a week. The children are the same – good fun to teach most of the time, because they treat me like a peer rather than a superior (and I’m more comfortable with that anyway). I have four (!) team-teachers here, each of whom has an utterly different style of teaching to adapt to.
Two things have struck me at this place. Firstly the “Jeff” obsession that my team-teacher Mr.Takuzawa exhibits. Jeff is the other new Assistant English Teacher who arrived at the same time as me. He taught at the school in August, and was followed by Josh who complained that Mr. Takuzawa kept calling him Jeff despite the fact that Josh has been working in Shiraoka for two years! I noticed as I was presented my new locker that Jeff’s name was still emblazoned across it – they didn’t change anything for Josh and they won’t change anything for me. Mr. Takuzawa has also called me Jeff a few times now, even though “Andrew” is nothing like “Jeff”, and that the last time I checked, I didn’t look Philippino! Then there was the shock and amazement that I wasn’t going to use Microsoft Powerpoint for my self-introduction, because “Mr. Jeff” used powerpoint. Finally, the look of disappointment of on Takuzawa’s face when I told him that I wasn’t a smoker – this I think may be the real key. Jeff is the only social smoker amongst us, and I think that he may have gained entrance to the inner-circle of the staffroom here simply by virtue of taking a few puffs every now and again. This is still a country with a very high number of smokers, and virtually no warning on cigarette packets about the dangers of lung cancer. I find it ridiculous that the crusts are chopped off bread in the bakeries here as “everyone knows that burnt bread is cancerous”!!
So, Mr. Takazawa is a closet homosexual with a Jeff shrine in his locker, but he isn’t the worst social offender in this staffroom. What I write now I do so with trepidation, as the school Principal is looking at me. He’s possibly the least well-mannered human being that I’ve had the displeasure to come across in Japan. I don’t know how a man of his rank came to display such awful manners when eating, as he brushes his teeth, when he hocks and coughs and splutters and snorts. As Jeff puts it, he’s a total lunch-table Nazi. I had to physically restrain myself as he SLURPED his soup, and then went back for seconds. Once I noticed the GOD AWFUL noise that he insisted on making, I was unable to ignore it, and now I try to finish my lunch as quickly as possible every day. The only thing that staid my fist was the realisation that I would be fired/refused a new contract/ritually executed by Japan’s Right Wing movement.
Anyway, the next update should be a more happy/ cultured affair – I’m going to Mount Fuji with Josh and Toshi on Sunday and Monday. I’ll write again soon.
5th November – Oh Fuji, where art thou?
So, the big weekend, off to see that huge volcano, that singular symbol of Japan that is recognised the world over. Myself, Josh, Toshi and Toshi’s friend Etsuko were going on a road trip to view the magnificent cone through a frame of scarlet maple leaves. Toshi explained that he needed to go to Fuji for “revenge”, as he’d been disappointed by a foggy Fuji two weeks previously. We left Shiraoka at 5.30am, predicting a huge rush of Japanese cars, full of people with exactly the same idea. Unfortunately our suspicions proved entirely correct.
3pm, and we were still stuck in on the edge of the greater Tokyo metropolitan area. Given that there are 126 million people on these islands, all with a dream to escape the metropoli and breathe the fresh mountain air, I guess it was inevitable. By the time we were within “sight” of Fuji, to our huge disappointment a thick haze almost entirely blocked this 3776m mass of solid rock. I wouldn’t have thought the combined efforts of Davids Copperfield and Blaine could’ve pulled off such a feat, but this is reputedly a “notoriously shy mountain” so I guess that I shouldn’t feel entirely victimised. I felt really sorry for Toshi who put in a lot of effort planning the trip, booking our hotel, and driving us to our venue only to be smitten by this dormant volcano once again!
Yet we persevered (slideshow). This is still an area of astounding natural beauty, even if one can’t see the mountain. It was just really nice to get out of Shiraoka and pretend that I wasn’t in Japan to work for a few days. At times it felt like I was on the scene of some travel documentary, at other times more like a scene from a college road-trip movie. Everyone was in good spirits, and the banter made the trip. It’s surprising how much entertainment can be derived from teaching eager young English students some no messing toilet humour, or hearing them accidentally confuse their idioms. This is not to mention the disturbing sexual proclivities of the Japanese. Yo, Etsuko, “Put yourself in my mouth”, hehehehe!
We mucked around, visiting a couple of the eighty caves that surround Fuji’s base (including Fugaku Wind Cave and Narusawa Ice Cave), a spooky forest (with, if I understood correctly, the dubious honour of one of Japan’s suicide hotspots), the five lakes which make up Fuji Go-Ko, a beautiful historical village centred around eight crystal clear ponds which well up from the ground, and a wonderful old Japanese garden. For once I was transformed into a member of the “Chrysanthemum Club” (or Japan apologists, foreigners who rave about the splendour of Japan whilst ignoring its other, rather less amazing qualities)! In a fit of romantic spirit, I even supped from the snowfall of the mountain itself. Josh who was rather less taken with the spirit, plunged his hand into the ice-cold water to see if he could hold it there for thirty seconds. Yet my favourite moment was climbing one of the hills bordering the Shoji-ko Lake. As a child and young teenager, I hated what I saw as enforced trips into the wild of Northern Ireland, but I guess it’s a sign of a latent maturity that I can now get my thrills from “hiking”!
Even the hotel was great. It bordered the Sai-ko (great name!) Lake, which amazingly was quite underdeveloped for Japan. It was faux European, and the preponderance of old wood, old advertisements and old furniture really helped us imagine that we weren’t in Japan. The dinner was really good too, and the formal meal brought back fond memories of Sunday dining at Oxford.
So, its porridge again. An all-day conference tomorrow and another on Friday. If only every day could be like these!
8th November
Hey all. I’m not really writing out of any real reason to do so, but maybe because of no need to do so. I’m beginning to think that there is little else that will surprise me in this country, and as a result my updates are probably going to start becoming less and less frequent (I reckon once a week is probably about optimum for the time being). I’m not saying that I’m not enjoying being here. I think that I’ve maybe hit a plateau whereby things begin to become more familiar and a little easier to understand.
For one there is Japanese. I’ve recently noticed that as long as someone has the common sense and politeness to just slow down and simplify their language, then I can probably understand by simply picking up on the keywords. Too often I meet Japanese people who just prattle along at a ridiculous pace and don’t have the courtesy to take me into consideration. I’ve decided that my goal for now is to try and improve my Japanese as much as possible without over exerting myself! We had a couple of really long and dull all-Saitama JET conferences this week, from which just about the only thing of value was a seminar called “making the most of JET”. The speaker merely confirmed what I already knew about my job – it’s not a teaching position as such, so make the most of your time by doing a bit of study and picking up what should be, after all, a very valuable skill. Think of it as “study-work”. Though it’s a long way off, I’m beginning to think of taking an intensive Japanese course this summer, hopefully combining it with a holiday to somewhere exotic like Hokkaido or Osaka. I’d love to go up north in the summer and catch a glimpse of some hairy little Ainu doing a traditional dance or something, heehee. Yet, this depends entirely on convincing those crusty ‘oul gits at the Board of Education to give me kenshu (study leave), something which they’ve never granted any JET in the past. Having said this, please read this short, hilarious article. So, wish me luck!
Anyway, its now traditional that no update should be completed without something insanely Japanese, so here’s a picture from the Culture Festival at Saitama Shintoshin that I attended earlier today. Oh, and before I forget, visit Josh’s site for some more shots of my Fuji Trip, and an alternative account, and click on this which I forgot to put up last time. Later.
13th November – “to study and at times put your learning into practice, is that not a joy?”
Thank god this week is drawing to a close, as it means I have only one more week to go at Shira-chu. My complaints here are both mental and physical, yet I have not one complaint about the children. They’re just about the only thing that keeps me going. If it wasn’t for the humour and the smiles that exude from the kids, I might just have cracked up by now!
At this school more than any other I’ve been the resident English monkey, dragged along to classes for conversation tests and reading out text rather than to doing anything productive or inventive which might actually improve their English. The other day I thought I’d mix up the sentences a bit in the dialogue for the English test, and totally confused the kid who wanted to give me the dialogue to the next sentence rather than the one I’d just spoken. I turned to my team-teacher and told him, “look, they don’t understand what they’re saying, you’re merely tutoring them to be human tape recorders”. The student was awarded an A plus!!! It’s a blessing that I didn’t come to the country with the express intention of actually TEACHING English, lest I might’ve topped myself by now!
The other problem is the smoking in the staffroom. I’ve learned to accept that I can’t expect people in coffee shops and pubs to stop smoking on my account, but I don’t see why I should have to put up with it in the staffroom where I'm contractually obligated to be every day. My eyes have been bloodshot for three weeks, and I’d say that there’s a causal relationship there. So I informed Mr Takuzawa that from here on in I would only appear in the staffroom for lunch, and would spend the rest of the time in the conference room doing “work” and private study. Seems to have worked so far; I could draw parallels to Major Major (Catch 22) who used to escape through a window in his office any time responsibility seemed to be heading his way! In many ways, I’ve ceased being a teacher altogether at this school, and have become instead a cipher, a void, a figure who exists only in legends and hearsay. I left a picture on my desk with a crucifix “RIP Andrew 2003”, in case any of the teachers might wonder where I’ve disappeared to ;)
I’ve been reading a book recently (Lost Japan: Alex Kerr), about time considering how long its been since I read a novel for pleasure (not since the summer of my first year at Oxford)!. Actually, I tried reading it a long time before I came to Japan, yet it contained so many oblique references that I found it difficult and, well, boring. After living here nearly four months though, I can read it with new eyes, and its actually a superb insight on Japan from a foreigner who’s lived here more than 30 years. I’ll release little extracts at a time, because he puts things much more eloquently and succinctly than I ever will (plus it gives my rants a foothold on intellectual integrity). So here’s a nice little quote that stood out, because we’re on the topic of Japanese education:
“It has often been pointed out that the Japanese educational system aims to produce a high average level of achievement for all, rather than excellence for a few…Being average and boring here is the very essence of society, the factor that keeps the wheels of all those social systems turning so smoothly. It need hardly be said that this is one of the major drawbacks of Japanese life.” (p.105)
Having time to just sit in peace read about Japan and continue to learn the language (albeit terribly slowly) has been an unexpected joy. At university I hated being told what to read and how many volumes of work to provide on the subject by the next week. I thought that another year at university would’ve finished me. Yet having an unchallenging, even boring job has not been as great as I thought it would be. This is not to say I want to be at University again, but I think being able to quietly learn what I want to and let my mind wander is one of the most enjoyable things going.
And just to finish off on an entirely different note, its been getting feckin’ cold here recently. Japanese houses are quite literally built out of crap and sawdust. There’s absolutely no insulation, so when its 12C outside, its 12C inside, and believe me when I say that’s a lot colder than you might imagine. My winter clothes never arrived, shipwrecked off the coast of Madagascar I imagine, but I have discovered this handy little lifeline!.
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