March 05
2nd March
Dear All,
Just got back from the Returners’ Conference in Yokohama. That’s it folks, set in stone, lest I choose to forget it, that my Japan adventure is drawing to a close. I feel terribly sad, suddenly, at this realisation, as over the past moths (and years?) I’ve separated the mind-numbing quality of my work from life in Japan which, to be truthful, has been pretty sweet. It almost seems that CLAIR chose the cushiest hotel, in the poshest location, on the seafront of Yokohama, itself one of the most attractive urban spaces in Japan, just to rub salt in the wounds. I can honestly say that I will miss Japan and all its foibles.
Yet the past 6 months haven’t been a very nice time to be Andrew Hudson. Early on I realised that my time was drawing to a close, whilst other JETs were still out partying and hell-raising in the land of the rising sun. Previously I’d been riding the crest of the wave that accompanied finals success, landing a plumb job, and travelling overseas. I may not have communicated this previously, because I tend to enjoy things much more in retrospect, and because I get a kick out of moaning, even when I’m really quite content.
As I say though, the last 6 months have been a distressing time mentally. Rejection after rejection on the job front; I was aiming too high, for things I had no experience in, and to be truthful, little interest in beyond the prestige and money they might bring me. I’d never experienced this kind of rejection before, and it came as a blow, a shock to the system. It caused me to lose all self-esteem, precipitated mild depression perhaps. I’ve experienced the full spectrum of human emotion: worry, anxiety, fear-paralysis, stress, terror, despair, self-loathing, to name but a few. I got trapped into the mind-set that to be “someone” I had to be chasing the big-money, in a high-pressure, city job, to emulate my peers from Oxford. I made myself sick with worry, caused myself sleepless nights, could see no solution on the horizon. And that has been my state for the majority of the last half-year.
So back to the Returners’ Conference. It was just another Conference, all the JETs pouring in at all times, ignoring pleas to wear business attire because they think they know better. Well, oh well oh well, how the mighty have fallen! The care-free, almost hippy-esque “maybe I’ll, like, go back-packing or like, take up Thai traditional dance or like, practice yoga or something” atmosphere soon changed. Speaker after speaker laid on the full “So you’ve been to Japan, so what?” and the “You’re English speakers, you get paid for speaking your own language for Chris’sake; do you have any idea how competitive the job market is?” spiel, causing most of the participants to wet themselves, or so it seemed. I actually felt quite lucky, because I’ve been mired in despair for so long that it’s almost levelled out! It was comforting and reassuring (that being the sadist in me) to see others actively sh1tting themselves about their prospects. The gravy-train has de-railed; the time for action is upon us!
Despite the despair, numbness and sheer overwhelming ness of impending unemployment, I did gain something from the Conference. There were several industry people and “Life coaches” who were all stressing the same thing, and something which independently I had come to appreciate in the last month; that is, the blindingly obvious suggestion that we should do something we like doing! Hey presto, ain’t that just the most wonderful tidbit of advice you’ve ever heard?! Don’t try to predict the markets, because the economy is too fluid; don’t give a damn about what other think – most likely they don’t care what you do; stop comparing yourself with others; do be clear and bring into focus what it is that interests you. The best advice, if a bit poofy, was the declaration to “follow your heart”. That may be the problem, given that I’m lacking one, but it’s something I’m gonna have to persevere with.
Over and out.
16th
2 updates in a month! I think that’s pretty good going.
The weeks are flying past at a rate of knots. The third grade students have once again “graduated” from Junior High School. I use the term graduated loosely, because, as I explained last year, it is in fact mandatory for all students to graduate and complete 18 years of full-time education. The graduation ceremony (in case I’ve never spelt it out, they love their ceremonies here) could have been a nightmare. It’s bad enough having to sit through speeches in a language you barely understand, combined with the fact they’re given a highly formalised polite manner (“ladies and gentlemen, I doth humbly welcome thee to our graduation ceremony…” etc). Then there’s all the clapping and crying that seems to be part and parcel of this momentous occasion when a child reaches the age of 16 and passes from one school to another. How the tears do flow.
Luckily though, this year I had the foresight to go out and get so absolutely hammered the night before that I actually slept through most of the ceremony. This was doubly satisfying given that I was sitting in front of all the local parents and dignitaries, and completely missed the cue to stand for the national anthem. Well, what can I say, serves you right for making me sit through it again! Moreover, I managed to feign illness (actually, I wasn’t really faking it at all) realistically enough to be excused from the after ceremony ceremony and “party”. All in all then, a pretty satisfying day’s work.
So the reason I was hammered. I’m not so proud of this bit – I was at an Avril Lavigne concert at the Tokyo Martial Arts arena the night before. I accompanied Toshi as his emergency last minute date (I’m assuming the spare ticket was bought for his ex last year at some stage), and whilst not exactly riveted at the opportunity, thought it would nevertheless be an opportunity to find out how young Japanese people behave at “rock” concerts. I had been slightly perplexed at why a 26 year old businessman in his suit and tie (Toshi went straight from the Insurance firm) was interested in Avril, but all became clear when Toshi informed me “I dig the f’n funky tunes, you know!”. Yes, rather.
Having been to another mass gathering of Japanese people at the Urawa Reds match back in August, I thought the concert might be an interesting point of comparison. Everyone was decked out in the pseudo-punk style of course, but true to form, they were oh-so-terribly well ordered; no drinking, no moshing, no drug abuse, glow sticks being waved in unison. Very much like the Urawa Reds match actually, except in the dark. The only disturbing thing was the rather disproportionate number of men in their suit and ties standing shiftily by themselves at the back of the concert hall, completely still, zooming in on Avril with their powerful mobile phone cameras as she bounced and skipped energetically across the stage. I think we all know enough about repressed Japanese salarymen and their predilection for jailbait to warrant any further discussion of the topic.
I wasn’t sorry to leave the concert; Avril was great if you like that kind of thing, but frankly I felt a bit old (and male) to be there. We met Toshi’s pal and his pal’s colleague outside for a bite to eat and a drink or three. Something about his friend’s friend didn’t seem quite right; he looked like a Japanese Harry Potter and was too shy to respond to any of my politely phrased introductory questions. I decided it would be rude to pursue the issue any further, but I was amazed by the impunity with which Toshi got stuck into him over the dinner table. “So, Take m’boy, do you have a girlfriend? What’s that, you’ve never had a girlfriend? Takeeeeee! So what are your hobbies? You don’t have any? Why don’t get out of the house a bit mate! Takeeee!! What’s the matter with you?”. Toshi had never met the poor chap before either! I don’t think I’ve ever been a party to this brand of ferocious piss-taking in Japan before.
There was yet one more incident before bedtime. Myself, Toshi and his friend took the last train back from Ueno after a few too many. After passing Urawa, we noticed that his friend was sleeping standing up, clutching onto the hand rail above, swaying with the motion of the train. Then, completely without warning, the poor chap woke up and chucked up over all the assembled seated passengers below, like a scene from the exorcist. Toshi and I decided to disassociate ourselves immediately, and I was certain the young man was in for the beating of his life. Yet rather than getting angry, the seated salarymen almost without blinking, just reached into their pockets, pulled out some tissues and began nonchalantly wiping the puke off their suits. I was stunned. Either transformation to robots has been completed, or puking on trains is such a common affair in Japan that no-one bats an eyelid any more!
29th March
“Seven minutes late for what?”
Another update, just before the end of March.
We’ve started back at the BoE for two weeks. That means two weeks of whittling down time, now personified as our enemy, as we try to put in 9 hour days with nothing to do and an internet connection from the dark ages. 5 people in a broom cupboard – it’s not big, it’s not clever, and it’s certainly not healthy.
Our employers have been laying down the law in the most irritating ways. What still completely escapes their notice, the fundamental stupidity, is that teachers have no place in an office during school holidays, especially foreigners with only the most tentative grasp on the language. They’re p’d off because we come into work and do nothing; we’re p’d off because we are made to come into work and not asked to do anything. Therein the solution lies.
It is my humble opinion that my employers are trying to pick a fight, encouraging us to slip up so that they can fire us. Way back around November time, they announced they had no budget, decided to scrap one of the teaching positions starting next year, and will advertise private teaching positions at the elementary schools on HALF the current wage! They’ve set targets for the number of teaching hours that AETs should complete in a week; no bad thing you might think, but the schools have responded by counting spurious “lesson planning” or “extracurricular activities” hours as part of the total, so I’m not seeing any real increase in class time (though I have been playing a lot more football of late!).
Moreover, a number of silly rules and regulations that were never enforced before are being released into the fray. We have been disqualified from eating or even drinking coffee in the broom cupboard, which I personally felt to be one of the more effective not to mention delicious ways of running down time. We should instead order “o-bento” and eat in the subterranean canteen with the rest of the fraggles. Coffee it would seem, should be consumed in the kitchen, itself the smoking area, so unfortunately I can no longer choose between a caffeine hit and death by cancer, but must combine them or forgo them altogether.
And then the icing on the cake. My friend and fellow AET arrived at work a little late the other day. They must’ve been keeping tabs, because a short while later, our supervisor walked in and demanded an hour’s nenkyuu (paid leave) for arriving “7 minutes late”. I too was then taken aside and warned against being late by the new Chief, who seems to be on a personal mission to eradicate the last lingering elements of fun from our daily lives. He’s said in no uncertain terms that we don’t work hard enough, and that the town can’t afford to keep us. I’d love to tell him that just making us attend the workplace isn’t going to make us better at our jobs, and that perhaps giving us free time when it’s due us, and making us work more hours during term time would be a more effective way to proceed. Then however, you run into language barriers and cultural mindsets. I tried to change the system last year – suggested they give us “study leave”, or let us go to the schools to play sports with the students, put us under house arrest…just anything to keep us occupied. My typed recommendations were translated and supposedly passed up the chain of command, then rejected. They weren’t rejected because they were bad ideas – they were rejected because bureaucrats in Japan are threatened by change, and feel much safer sticking to old regulations and going along at a familiar pace.
Whilst most JET participants I’ve met receive holidays outside term time, we are having our precious nenkyuu eaten away at for being slightly tardy. It seems we’re all gonna have to be more accurate with our time keeping – no more trips to the corner shop for precious boredom delaying snacks, no more long lunches, no more sneaking away five minutes early at the end of the day. It’s become a Soviet bureaucratic hell-hole (even more so I should say), where intangible targets and time-keeping are more important than results and efficiency. And yet the central issue is still dodged – 7 minutes late for what?
Otherwise, well, it’s definitely getting warmer, although we’re a few weeks behind last year – the cherry blossoms haven’t even budded yet. I’m looking forward to a “hanami” or two, the height of Japanese culture, whereby one sits under a tree on a plastic cover, drinking canned alcohol and eating cold food out of plastic boxes. The Japanese sure know how to live!
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