FEBRUARY 2004
February 1st – Snowboarding, Tochigi Prefecture
I just got back from Snowboarding on Mt Jeans (stupid name, but what you gonna do?), near Nasu in Tochigi Prefecture. I enjoyed snowboarding last time so much that I had to try again, this time with Toshi and Josh. Toshi, as you will recall, organised the trip to the amazing disappearing Mt Fuji last year, and did a sterling job again in planning and executing a trip north. It’s one thing having a lonely planet guide, quite another having a Japanese friend willing to drive you places off the beaten track and to escape the metropolitan conurbations that car-less foreigners are locked within.
There was a real improvement in my ability this time round. I’m pretty confident turning, stopping and starting again after a fall. I can curve round in an arc, then switch my lead foot and head in the opposite direction. Nevertheless, its an entirely different thing to use both sides of the board for turning, and every time I tried I ended up on my Asse, on my head, on my chest etc. Toshi as it happens is a great snowboarder (Japan has a huge diversity of latitudes, so at one end you could be simultaneously scuba-diving and at the other end skiing). He challenged me to go down a steep slope without using the edge of my board to control the speed, and with much misplaced confidence I foolishly agreed. A pity no-one had a camcorder at the bottom, as what ensued, the savage air ballet of my body being thrust in the air and smashed on the ice-like white beneath, must’ve been truly hilarious. And painful. Excruciatingly so. My head smacked so violently against the ground that my goggles and hat were wrenched off. I’m just happy to have departed alive and with most of the important body parts still intact.
To really finish a day snowboarding properly, you need to take an onsen. To the uninitiated, let me digress a little. In the Japanese system of logic, nothing could be better than stripping off in front of complete strangers, and then sitting naked with them, outside, in a pool of steaming water, admiring each others genitalia, or the jaunty angle with which your neighbour is balancing a towel on his head. This isn’t the first time I’ve had the opportunity to go to an onsen, but it’s the first time I’ve gone through with it. The first thing I noticed was that I appeared to be the only morbidly obese person in the changing room. Seriously, the guys over here haven’t a pick of flesh on them, and my love handles and podgy stomach wobbled obscenely as I waddled to the cleaning stools. You sit on a wee wooden stool about 6in above the ground and wash yourself BEFORE you take the communal bath. As it happens, the water wasn’t nearly as hot as I’d been told. All in all it was quite a pleasant day really. Oh, yeah, as well as inexplicable.
The final ludicrous experience of the day occurred as we were reaching Shiraoka again.
Josh: “What’s that luminous blue thing over there”
Toshi: “An AV vending machine”
Josh: “Pull over, I’ve got to get a photo of this. I’ve heard so many rumours about them, but in three years I’ve never seen one!”
AV=adult video*
*not only adult video, but magazines, toys and, wait for it, used school-girl panties!! Only in Japan. To comment any further would only serve to reduce its impact.
6th February - another year in this hole?
I finally signed the papers to recontract. I have to wait and find out if the BoE want to keep me for another year. However, seeing as they foot the bill for flying new teachers in, and as ALL the other AETs are leaving this year, and because they’re such a stingy bunch most of the time, I think they’ll probably want to keep me, not because I’m a great teacher, but because it’ll save a wee bit of dosh. Let’s put money before the well-being of our children, eh?!
I hope I’ve done the right thing. Being back in Shiraoka hasn’t been too bad. I’ve been getting rid of the minor irritations in my life e.g. Eikiwa all day Saturday, buying a sofa to sit on. I’ve also been doing much more with my free time recently, and the more I do, the happier I feel. Perhaps I don’t want to admit it, for fear that all will come tumbling down around me, but of late I may have actually enjoyed living here! On the other hand, my first two schools of the year are the best two schools, so once things start going downhill at the smoky school, I hope I don’t start having second thoughts!
Every decision I’ve ever made has been easy – at school it was just a matter of doing my best in exams. At Uni, it was just a matter of doing my best in finals. Then I was out on my ear without any future plans, because the whole system of schooling had come to an end and I hadn’t put much thought into what would happen next. So, naturally, I came to Japan. Now I’m here, I study a bit, because my “year/s out” will be a big waste of time unless I learn another language. Certainly this job does nothing for my CV! So one of the big reasons for staying is to be here for the annual Japanese test next December. Unfortunately, after my last lesson, I realise just how much work there is yet to be done! I hope that when it comes to next February that I’ve actually thought a bit more deeply about my life and have the courage to go and do something a bit more fulfilling!
Just like the IRA, the old gripes about my job “haven’t gone away you know”. Ricky (who is also staying) and I are very concerned about what will happen in the summer. I don’t want to be dishonest and sneak out of work during the day, but seriously, they drive me to it. We spent a bit of time sugar coating and honey glazing a letter for the BoE which I foolishly handed in at the same time as asking to recontract! Japan is a society where you defer to your elders, where you use completely indirect means of asking for something, where you dance around the topic and beat about the bush. The Japanese love stasis and harmony, they love “wa” and never want to disrupt the status quo. As a result, when something is agreed upon or written down, it may take an eternity to reverse. So rather than phrasing our request “Schools out for summer, there’re no lessons to teach, the BoE is boring and we don’t have any work to do so why don’t you let us stay at home you grey haired old gits!” we decided on a more subtle, gentle and wholly ambiguous “maybe if possible it would be better if we did something more productive during the summer, don’t you think. Ahhh, I’m sorry for offending you! I’ll just go outside and commit ritual suicide right now!!”. This reminds me so much of my weaslish attempts to get out of crappy accomodation at Uni in first year. Ominously, that failed!
It should never have come to this. The JETs in the neighbouring town of Iwatsuki have approximately 7 weeks more holidays a year than me. They also have a supervisor who takes them to play golf, buys them new utilities, etc. It seems that in every category, Shiraoka JETs got the bum end of the deal. However, if I write like this any more, I’m going to induce depression.
9th February
Not so much an update. I just wanted to link to a sardonic little essay that Josh wrote for his friends site about Japanese Vending Machines, which I think sets the phenomenon out quite nicely. As I remarked to Josh, the whole Vending Machine issue would seem to suggest that Japan is a very convenient society. Why in the name of God then, are 24 hour ATMs an alien concept to them? Not only that, but one can rarely use a rival bank's machine to withdraw money. The problem is only compounded by the fact that many places don't accept credit cards, and Switch, as far as I can tell, is not used over here. Only the other night I found myself in Shinjuku without the means to return to Shiraoka. Every rival bank was open, but none of them would take my card. When I finally found my "Resona" bank, it was closed. I think the words "Mother of Pearl1!!!" were heard echoing across the Tokyo sky. After wandering the streets for a good 30 mins, I finally found a compatible ATM in a convenience store, with a street long queue waiting to use it.
Ahhh, Japan, country of mystery and contradiction. Ahhh Japan, where the idiots rule.
13th February
I’m writing a wee update because I don’t know when I’ll next get the chance to update. It looks like my internet connection will be cut for a week due to accidental non-payment of bills, but I got one of my teachers to negotiate over the phone, so it should be reinstalled a week later. The whole problem arises from how comically inefficient the Japanese banking system is. I tried to set up direct debits when I first arrived, but kept having the forms sent back to me because I’d written “Andrew Colin Hudson” instead of “Hudson Andrew Colin”, or because I’d written it in English instead of Japanese, or in Japanese instead of English. Even those forms that did eventually go through (after 3 or 4 attempts, with the assistance of Japanese people!), seemed to take months to kick in, during which time they must’ve been sitting on some bureaucrat’s desk somewhere. Its almost like an initiation test to find out how much you really want a service – maybe by the fourth time you’ve manually paid a bill, they’ll finally decide that you deserve to have it taken out of you’re bank automatically. Also, being almost entirely illiterate, I’ve mistaken bills for receipts, having become confused as to which were automatic and which weren’t. Therein the origin of the problem lies.
Tomorrow is Valentines Day. Hilariously, in Japan only the women buy presents. I think the men are meant to reciprocate on a special day called “White Day”. It seems like the retailers have managed to double their profits by spawning a second ridiculous holiday. The sight in Omiya was undignified, as literally thousands of women scrambled for cards and chocolate. I’ve a feeling that as with all forms of gift giving in this country, it’s entirely obligatory. I received a box of chocolates today from my team teacher, “This is from me and Mrs________(add name here)”, whilst she handed a second box to another male teacher. Bought in pairs and given away in pairs – not the most romantic of traditions I’m sure!!
So, by the time I next update this site, I’ll probably have been to Okinawa and come back with a few tales to tell. Until then…
16th February
Ok, this really is the last update before I go. I just got some birthday cards from back home and wanted to thank everyone who sent me a card, it was very thoughtful indeed. I don't expect too many of the staff here to know its my birthday on 18th, though really my team-teachers should know...they've used it as an example for teaching grammar points enough times!!
I'm just staring outside at the weather. I nearly had my eyes ripped out by sand and dirt travelling at about 200mph this morning on the cycle to school. I was in Tochigi-ken at the weekend where there was an incredible snow-blizzard, yet in Shiraoka at the moment its bone dry. Comically, some of the teachers are struggling with a fire-hose, which they're using to water the school dust-bowl, ahem, sorry, I mean playing field, to stop it from disappearing completely in the wind. Now if only some bright spark would suggest to the Japanese that they could plant grass...
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