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Welcome to the Hotel of Relief !
Can/Will you please consider Hotel of Relief! - My Ultimate Resort?
Live and Relieve !Share it !
Save A suicide candidate . Help turn misery,despair,deprivation, frustration,disappointment,darkness,... into Hope and Light
Hi !
First, thank you for caring to log in to my page in the first place . That’s a good sign . At least of courtesy doing .
Second, I’d like to assure you that I’m far from being a dishonest person , a liar, a scammer ,or the like . Actually, I suffered much , so much from my honesty . And that is a long story .
This may be my last email in this life . I’m extremely fed up with my unbearable conditions that I’m seriously considering suicide . Yesterday’s afternoon , I went online searching for those best ways to commit it efficiently . I thought of writing this prior to that . Who cares ??? but I’m writing it anyways .
I’m fully aware it’s no easy decision , but sometimes I’m so convinced it’s my only hope of relief .
Last week,I was completely blinded by my suffering, pain , anger, disappointment , frustration(you name it) that I was on the very very verge of committing it . I reached a hypnotic state of despair where suicide can be committed without any feeling of pain or regret ….cos you’re dopey by despair .
I’ve never had any experience of sth enjoyable during my whole 35 years .
I’m incredibly unfortunate , extremely unlucky and apparently(I mean obviously)doomed to failure and bad fate .
This is not because of me …I’m a good person , well educated , well disciplined, well behaved , sapient, phlegmatic, persevering , and even fairly optimistic and resilient .
It’s not a matter of patience and endurance at all . It’s about intolerable pain and its consequences on my physical,mental and psychic health . 35 years of disappointment on all levels started to ultimately and inevitably affect the strong man in me . It’s beyond me .
My misery and deprivation have caused me suffer constant chronic severe headache and breath complications . Physicians could do nothing about it . They said it has all to do with my psyche and that I need to lighten up and cheer up . I can’t afford that .
Constant brooding turns my mind dopey and narcotic most of the time . People in my case would take dope and resort to excessive drinking , pornography and stuff to diffuse depression . I don’t .
It’s all a continuing series of unfortnate blows . I quit during my graduating year in protest against being wrongly accused of plagiarism by a hateful , selfish and envious prof . All the student community were astounded and attested to my honesty, intelligence, perseverance and academic excellence . The prof later took my fiance-to be, too .
At work , my efforts and workoholism were never recognized ; worse, was schemed against and fired(for abstaining to assist in committing their fraud) .
The hard gained savings with which I intended to buy my lodging , a car and get married were defrauded in an investment scam .
I’m unemployed for three years now . I applied widely and incessantly , but to no avail . I’m suffering hair loss and teeth loss as a consequence of all this . The only hope that has kept alive so far is that poor girl who loves me so much and is counting on me desperately , unware of my circumstances . Worse, she lives out of my country . How in hell can I save our souls when I’m mired in poverty myself ??? My inability to save that girl is adding up to my suffering hugely .
Can anybody help ????
I need some funds .
I cant stand it anymore .
I think of escaping to the other world where I will be completely detached from this world and unware of my fiance’s sufferings and impossible expectations . I seriously envisage resorting to that refuge . Any normal person in my situation would . I have no alternatives right now .
Yet, yet , yet I I I still have a flickering so flickering tiny hope for a last chance of rekindling and rejuvenation before my final relapse in the dumps .
This kinda request humbles one ‘s pride . Who cares about pride now ? What’s the use of it when the body and soul themselves can be part at any moment , it’s just a matter of time .
I’m sorry if i caused you to worry for me . Perhaps , I shouldn’t disturb other people by my misery ; I’m not sure though . I suffer Intolerable chronic(constant) headache and recurrent fits of depression . Because of this I come to moments of despair where I want to end this by ending my life altogether . Don’t think I’m gonna commit suicide for failing to have access to life enjoyments or self-indulgence and stuff .It’s maily because of the unbearable physical and emotinal pain . I don’t have a healthcare coverage or unemployment allownces to cater for that .One never knows what’s like till they experience it themselves .
I also like to correct this concept .Committing suicide isn’t really a matter of choice where one is sane and aware of his senses . It’s a moment of blindeness and darkeness that forces itself on you at a particular time of weakness .You’re renderd weak and surrendering no matter what your religious beliefs are .I myself feel bitterness for being so close to forced surrender . At that fatal moment I’m away from connection to God . I can’t even think of praying and ask for help from God coz my mind is offline with God . That’s why You can pray for me when I can’t . Surely God will Reward you for this .
Presently,I try to occupy myself with whatever so I'm not left alone to myself coz when I'm alone with myself ,I only think of it.
I pledge your support .
I don’t know whether I will wait till I get though .
I love all .
So_miserable@survivormail.com
P.S. At doomsday,I will not forgive anyone who was able to help relieve and abstained from it . Failing ability,I sollicited that you link to this site(if you have a webpage) by adding this url at the bottom of your webpage or other directories .
My sincere gratitude in advance .