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5 Surprising Ways God Gives Happiness to People
This article explains five ways Christians receive happiness from God.
Happiness Tip # 1 Let go of baggage.
David Foster wrote in his book, The Power to Prevail, “Happiness is letting go of what we do not need.” We need to let go of material things we do not need and we also need to let go of resentments.
Letting go of the Material
Look around your house at all the things you never use. You did not need to buy any of those things. Many a purchase on credit brings worry later on. Christians focus on the spiritual, not the material and they give to the poor. Giving gives a kind of deep satisfaction with oneself. Many in the Western World who are reading this would be considered to be very wealthy people if they lived in a poor country. For example, a donation to a Christian ministry in Bangladesh is multiplied by 40 times in its value because of the strength of the dollar. For example, donating $5 * 40 = $200. If you donate $5 it is like giving $200. Giving is quite easy; it also helps one to budget. When we are buying things we think about how much money we have but when we think about giving we are more realistic about our finances and feel short.
Letting go of Resentments and Fight Disappointments with Hope.
Forgiveness as taught in the Bible has been recognized by many people. Forgiving heals the pain of the offense. Christian’s faith in God as our provider helps us to overlook offenses. For example, a person’s dating partner breaks up with him or her. If the hurt lover does not have faith and invite God to lead his or her life, the hurt person might try to console themselves saying that it is better off without the ex. But still feel like they can not have happiness unless they are dating that person and have little hope of finding someone as good.
In comparison, a Christian man or woman in the same situation, when the date breaks up, will also feel the loss and consoles him or herself by thinking, ‘It was not God’s will that I should marry him but God is going to bring me a really good man. God has a plan for my life and He has a better life partner for me that I will meet when the time is right.’ The Christians who have faith knows that God will bring a partner and they will love each other very much equally because it is God’s promise in the book of Ruth in the Bible.
But the happiness is not all invested in the other person; God is our happiness, He never leaves us alone and always loves us. Thus having faith it is easier to weather life’s disappointments. It is easier to forgive the ex partner when you know for sure you will find someone better. God gives us hope to overcome disappointments. A Christian is never alone-whether single, married or without family and friends because God is always with us. All Christians receive God’s love and love God in return.
Faith also activates God’s plans for us. God does not guide our life unless we ask Him to in the name of Jesus. We have free will; we can rely on ourselves. Or we can rely on God who is perfect and has unlimited power. Instead of self-reliance, God reliance works because it gets you past the limitations of your own insecurity. God wants the best for us; just knowing that He loves us makes a difference to many people who feel that no one would love them or that they are not important. Well if the King of the Universe loves you, you are important.
Happiness Tip # 2 Make peace with those who criticize you.
You are probably wondering, “How?” First an explanation. What is criticism really? It is someone giving you unwanted, unasked for advice. For example, you are 45 years old, you visit your mother, and she says, “That is not a good haircut.” She believes she knows more than you, the advice is “you should get a better one”. It is really an insult because deep inside we become afraid that maybe it is true- our hair looks bad and will never be good enough. You begin to think she is telling you that you must be dumb to be incapable of getting a good haircut. And sometimes the most capable people do get a bad haircut. Often it is not the cut we wanted. If the criticism is true it hurts more.
If it is not true that it is a bad haircut we still feel like she is saying you have bad taste.
We need approval from Mom and we forget all the times she has admired us. We think of the compliments she has given us twice but we think of the slight all day. We think “Nothing is ever good enough for her.”
But Mom needs approval too. She gets approval by feeling useful and by feeling that she has done the best to help you all your life. She believes she is giving you advice on how to look better. Let’s say you are eating avocado and Mom says, “Don’t eat that; it has a lot of cholesterol”. Never mind trying to explain that there are two kinds of cholesterol and the kind you eating is good for people. If you give an explanation and she does not listen, then she is not persuaded by logic. She wants to feel needed and be seen as a person who cares. So you say, “Thank-you Mom for caring about me,” and you go right on eating the avocado. That way Mom does not get her feelings hurt by logical discussions. You would be surprised how giving her credit for caring about you will satisfy her need to give advice. Whereas if this need is not met, you could be completely right and she might still argue with you.
You could be wondering, “But I do not like it when she criticizes me, how can I thank her?” How could criticism be equivalent to caring? Gratefulness is not based on feelings; it is a decision. From Mom’s point of view, she has good intentions and she cares about you. Consider thinking about how other people feel. At first, practicing gratitude may seem like you have to force yourself to be grateful. But eventually, when you see the benefits, it brings joy.
As Christians learn and grow spiritually in faith, they try to change people less and pray more. We waste our energy and annoy people saying or doing things to try to change them. But sometimes we can not even change ourselves and they also can not change themselves. Only God has the power to change hearts.
Happiness Tip #3 Be Grateful
There are people who have been cured of depression by writing a thank-you letter to every person who ever helped them. It is as good for them as it was for the people that helped.
Christians aim to be thankful to God in any circumstance. Not to be thank-full FOR every circumstance but to be thank-full IN every circumstance. This is because God takes what ever life throws at us and makes something good happen out of it as a result of trusting Him in that situation.
There is a story told about two men who were marooned on a deserted island. The first man cut some trees and with hard work began to build a shelter. The second man said, “By building a shelter, you are thinking negatively; you are saying to yourself that you will be stuck here.” After weeks of hard work, the first man finished his shelter, built a fire, and invited the second man to come over.
But an ember of fire was blown by the wind into the shelter that quickly caught on fire and went up in smoke. The second man said, “See, it was a waste of time to build when you have so much uncertainty.”
The first man prayed, “God I do not know why you took away all I had, but I thank-you”. The unexpected result was that next day a boat came to rescue them. The captain said, “We were passing by several miles away and we saw your fire.”
This is just how life is. We have problems that seem hopeless, we want to be accepting of the problems but we want to have hope at the same time. We build without knowing if it will help just as the second man built a shelter. But for a Christian, life is not a series of coincidences, God is in control and in the end it will all work out in the end. Romans 8:28 tells us, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” For the Christian, life has meaning, justice, and direction.
That is why Christians have founded so many charitable organizations, hospitals, and schools and universities. The Bible teaches us to be like Jesus; love even if other people do not love you; give even though the world is greedy; forgive even though life is unfair; build even if people will tear it down. The Christian who understands that God is taking care of him will face difficulties with ease because he knows God will reward him in the end. Christians make recreation areas where there is crime, schools where there is illiteracy, and hospitals where there is disease.
This is how born again Christians make peace when someone criticizes themselves. They simply say to themselves “God approves of me; I am capable”. They quote the Bible and believe it, “I am strong in the Lord and the power of his might; I am more than a conqueror!” (Ephesians 1:19, Romans 8:37) . They say it out loud even if they do not believe it at first. This is neither “positive thinking” nor “manifesting your thoughts”; we do not make things happen by our words, God makes them happen according to His infinite wisdom for us. The Bible is no ordinary book; it is God’s word.
Happiness Tip #4 Lay Blame to Rest by doing something Illogical
Do not defend yourself when you are blamed. Yes, let it go. I can hear you thinking, “No, I have to set the record straight and show it is the other person’s fault so it will not happen again.” When we feel blamed we argue based on the assumption that the blamer is blaming us because of faulty reasoning or wrong facts. But some people are chronic blamers and do not respond to logic. The reason a chronic blamer is a chronic blamer is because they do not feel they got enough love when they were children. So I am suggesting you do something absolutely illogical and extravagant- give the chronic blamer a hug! You do not have to do it right when they blame you. Just wait a few minutes and then hug them.
I am sure you are wondering, “Wouldn’t that make the blamer blame me even more?” Surprisingly, the opposite is most often true. It is commonly called reverse psychology.
Many people, including the author of this article, are what I call “behaviorists”. A behaviorist is a person that thinks you should reward good behavior so it will occur more often and punish bad behavior so that it occurs less. For example, many a person’s first instinct when they are blamed is to avoid the blamer. Avoidance is like a punishment.
Behaviorism is a psychological approach based on logic but it was discovered by observing animal behavior. For example, pigeons were trained to peck a button to get a seed. This made them peck more and more. So if you avoid your spouse when he or she nags this is really an animal instinct.
Behaviorism is used in schools and in the workplace to motivate people to work and be punctual. But when it comes to personal relationships, a higher way of thinking is required; love is needed. Try hugging the chronic blamer in a ratio of four to five times per day, every day. For example, one hug in the morning, another when you leave the house, when you come home, after dinner, and before bedtime. I can hear you thinking, “That is hard to do, and will it really work?” I dare you to try it. Do something illogical - it might work!
Many a marriage has turned around this way, by one person in the marriage doing again the nice things they did when they first fell in love. Often the other partner responds by being loving in return. The Bible says in Romans 12:21 “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” If the person who blames you is not close enough or it is not appropriate to give a hug to, try telling the person at least three things you appreciate about him or her. If you really think you can find something. If you can’t then you do not know the person very well. You can always find something to compliment them on. Maybe the person is wearing nice shoes and no one has ever told them that.
Happiness Tip #5 Avoid Vices
Christians define happiness differently than most other people. Other people will tell you that Christianity is boring and Christians never have any fun. They do not drink, gamble, and fool around. The world will tell you that happiness comes from drinking but they do not tell you about the hangovers and sickness. They tell you just to try your luck, but many people become addicted to gambling and end up stealing from their own family. The same with drugs. They tell you drugs bring happiness. But the “happiness” of the world brings pain in the end to you and to others.
Christians believe that the Bible tells us what is wrong and what is right. They obey God because avoiding sin brings blessings. The Bible says in Proverbs 23:30-32
“Those who linger over wine, who go to sample bowls of mixed wine. Do not gaze at wine when it is red, when it sparkles in the cup,
when it goes down smoothly! In the end it bites like a snake
and poisons like a viper.”
God’s laws do not bring pain but unshakable faith and lasting satisfaction. When a person asks Jesus to come into his or her heart and lead their life, they often experience an immediate relief from addictions. Some experience it immediately and have to get treatment to change personality traits caused by addictions and maintain their sobriety. Others take longer to stop. But God helps all the believers to let go of addictions
The author of this article quit a cigarette addiction with much prayer and medical treatment. But God made the treatment work. Not everyone who gets treatment has quit. The author is grateful to God; but what is even better is if we never try vices in the first place, just as the Bible teaches us. Knowing that I was once addicted to cigarettes, I do not drink nor gamble.
We can be happy without taking illegal drugs. We can have the joy of the Lord our God. God wants us to be happy always. Philippians 4:4 says, “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!”
In her book, Straight Talk on Depression, Joyce Meyer explains that those who have a personal relationship with Jesus as their God and Savior already have happiness in them. But they express the joy by singing praises to God. One way to start the day is to sing, even if you are sleepy or cold, and see what a difference it makes in your day. Also try singing when you are angry until it goes away. This lowers the bad effects of anger on the body.
Why Christian Premarital Counseling?
Have you ever wanted to talk to God? How to Pray
Links
Online Bibles in many languages
If you are thinking of giving up on life
If you need Power to Change (scroll down for translations)
An online magazine for women Journey of Joy
Christianity Explained for Muslims
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