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A Home for the Children
A HOME FOR THE CHILDREN
Thank you for visiting my site. If you’ve had enough curiosity to visit here, then I’m assuming you are someone who might consider helping a child in need. What I am actually asking for, is help for 6 little children, who also happen to be my grandchildren.
But before making my request to you, I want to explain the circumstances of why I am making this request. I want you to know, I’m not some ‘con-artist’, trying to bilk people out of their money. This is a real life situation, and the lives and futures of six children are hanging in the balance. I am willing to provide any proof you request, to convince you that this is the case, if you are interested in helping. (see contact details at the bottom of this page) I have exhausted every other avenue I know of, seeking help for these children. The “powers that be” who SHOULD be helping these children, just don’t seem to care. It seems I’m the only one who really does. Which is why, in honest desperation, I must now turn to you for help. Our story follows, I hope you will take the time to read it, even though it is a bit long and sad, and when you are done reading, I hope you will consider helping us...
The children I am seeking help for, as I said, are my grandchildren, ages 7, 5, 4, 2, and 3 months old. (two of these children are 2 year old toddlers) They are the children of my two youngest daughters, ages 21 and 24, who are having quite a hard time in life. One of my daughters is ‘bipolar’, and the other has had problems with drug and alcohol addictions for many years, and both have been making many bad choices in their life, which are effecting their children.
Most of the children, were born ‘out of wedlock,’ and none of the children's fathers provide support of any kind. One of their fathers is in jail, another is a gang member and a drug dealer, (whom the children are afraid to even visit). Another is unemployed and using drugs. Another, though currently married to one of my daughters, doesn’t work, claims he is ‘disabled’ but wont even make the effort to apply for disability. He sits around the house and plays video games all day, (or just sleeps all day) and parties with his friends all night.
Though there are many times I have thought about just walking away from my two daughters, in disgust over the things they are doing with their lives, I have stayed in contact with them because I love my 6 grandchildren dearly, and I have been very involved in their care since the day they were born, and I have doted on them as much as possible, although my resources to help them are limited, due to the fact that I am myself disabled, and surviving on a very limited income. Lately, the situation with my two daughters has reached emergency proportions. Granted, it’s not the first time they’ve found their lives ‘in crisis’, and I’ve found ways to ‘bail them out’ many times before. But this time, it’s a bit worse, they’re running out of options, and I’m also running out of ideas for how to help them. As the saying goes - "You cant help someone, who doesnt want to help themselves."
The older daughter, who, as I said, has serious mental problems, just had another child, in February of 2004. Though her circumstances have been bad for a long time, she doesn’t even have the presence of mind to stop having children. I dont doubt that she'll be pregnant again, within a matter of months. Recently she, her husband, her 3 children, as well as my other daughter and her two children, were are ALL living in one run-down 2 bedroom rental house. The two of them have completely exhausted their options, as far as who will rent to them anymore. Between the unstable behaviors of the one, and the drug and alcohol addictions of the other, they have been evicted from EVERY house or apartment they have ever rented. The oldest daughter has exhausted all ‘emergency housing’ options, after being evicted from emergency and subsidized housing also. The other has felonies related to drug charges on her record, and cant get any kind of gov't assistance. I cant allow my daughters to live with me anymore, because of their unstable behavior. I no longer have the energy for it, though I have tried to help them, and have taken them and their children in, many times, in the past. The only thing I feel I can do now, is try to help the children...
I have become resigned to the idea that I am going to have to adopt ALL SIX of my grandchildren, due to the failure of my two daughters to adequately take charge of their circumstances, and while I might be able to secure some financial assistance for this purpose, I am lacking the one crucial element that would make taking care of these children possible – A HOUSE - big enough for 6 children and one adult. (I’m hoping, if my daughters can get into therapy, get jobs, and get their lives straightened out, they may spend some time in transition, with me. But what is important to me right now, is that MY GRANDCHILDREN HAVE A SAFE AND DECENT HOME, AND SOMETHING THAT PASSES FOR A NORMAL LIFE.) In the house they were all recently living in, the bathroom sink didnt drain for a year, the roof is sagging, the timbers are rotting, 2 adults and 4 children were crammed into one small bedroom, while 2 adults and 2 children inhabited the other. The house is almost 100 years old, run down, unmaintained, and just plain DANGEROUS. I lay awake nights worrying that all 6 of my grandchildren will be burned up in their sleep, by a faulty wiring problem, or that the house, being so old and rotten, will simply collapse in on them. Because of the problems my daughters have, neither has any other income except public assistance. They don’t have adequate resources to improve their situation. They look for work sporadically, but the work isn’t there. When my older daughter moved in with my younger daughter, it was supposed to be ‘temporary’ until she could find another place; a few weeks, at most. It has now been OVER A YEAR. No one will rent to either her or her husband, because of their past rental history. Because of all the people in the house, things have been growing increasingly tense and unbearable. A couple of months ago, one sister threatened to stab the other, the police were called, but nothing was done. They both also seem to be more focused on ‘partying’ with their friends, than caring for their children, and the house is often packed with their friends as well, staying up late, playing the stereo loud, drinking, getting into fights...this is no kind of life for my grandchildren. (update on the situation - the one sister finally was forced to file a restraining order against the other, who has now been forced to move in with her brother, hoping to find help that is not likely to come to her, as long as she has the problems she does, and remains with her drug-dealing, good-for-nothing-husband)
I’ve done everything I can think of, to improve the situation. I’ve talked till I’m blue in the face, trying to talk some sense into my daughters. I’ve loaned them money, I provide them with free daycare whenever they need it. I provide them with food and other basic necessities, from the little bit of resources I have. I’ve talked to the CPS REPEATEDLY about their situation, I’ve literally BEGGED the CPS to intervene, for the sake of the children, but they’ve REFUSED TO DO ANYTHING. I’ve helped my daughters to pay deposits on apartments repeatedly, to replace furniture lost after evictions, bought school clothes for the children, supplied the children with birthdays and Christmas every year. None of this has been ENOUGH. They always end up BACK IN THE SAME SITUATION. In the case of the older daughter, it’s been going on for SEVEN YEARS. Every member of the family has taken her and her children in, at one time or another. Only to have to ask her to leave, as she routinely becomes abusive and violent with anyone she is around. (due to the untreated bipolar condition) Her children have no stability, and haven’t had any, since the day they were born.
The only useful suggestion the CPS has given me, is that if I'm concerned about my grandchildren’s living conditions, I should SIMPLY ADOPT THEM. I’ve explained to them my living situation, my limited resources, my disabilities, this doesn’t seem to matter to them. They seem determined not to do anything about the situation, until one or more of my grandchildren ends up DEAD. Not long ago, the police were at their house again.. (a common occurrence) My four year old grandson was accidentally kicked in the head by his own father, (leaving a nasty lump) while he and the boy’s mother were fighting, after a night of drinking. Once again, the authorities did NOTHING to protect the children. The CPS was not called in. No one was arrested, though my daughter was injured. They’re supposed to take children OUT of homes like this, where ‘domestic violence’ calls are constantly reoccurring, but the police seem to only want to ‘smooth things over’ and leave the scene with as little ‘muss and fuss’ as possible.
Though I’ve continued to hope that my daughters may eventually ‘get it together’, I’ve finally come to accept that I am probably going to have to do as the CPS has suggested, and take care of the children MYSELF. It seems I’m the only one who WILL, but how? I live in another run down, very small 2 bedroom rental house, there isn’t even heat in the house, at this time. And the only reason I have this, is because Section 8 is subsidizing my rent. Without that, I would likely be homeless myself, as a small disability pension just doesn’t cover the costs of housing and other basic necessities. My grandchildren come over often, to escape the insanity of their own home, and I do what I can for them. I give them the little bit of food I have, and do without, myself. I’m good with the children. I know, in the right circumstances, I can raise these children, if that’s the ONLY way to help them. But my house is far from adequate shelter, for 6 young children. Section 8 wont even subsidize the rent for my house, if there are children in it, because it is so old, it doesn’t meet their lead-safety standards. (i.e. the paint has lead in it, and the landlord wont foot the costs to have the whole house stripped and repainted, just so I can have children in the house, and in any case, it still wouldnt be BIG enough) My 7 year old granddaughter has almost finished this school year, and she’s been doing very well, but she needs a stable environment. But it seems she will NEVER have this, with her mother. She’s literally been sleeping on other people’s couches, since she was born.
I feel certain, if I can acquire a HOUSE, I can convince the state to hand over legal custody of my grandchildren to me, and I can then begin to protect them, and give them the things they need. If I cant get the state on board, I should at least be able to convince my daughters to give the children up to me, till they can get their lives together. This is the only hope I can see for the situation, at this point in time.
So that is why am I asking strangers on the internet to help me buy or in some other way secure a house.. My own financial situation will not allow me to do this myself. My grandchildren NEED HELP NOW.
If you’ve taken the time to read this far, you'll know that the need to improve the situation of these children is TRULY EMERGENT. I don’t want my grandchildren to become just one more statistic, one more example of the failure of the CPS to protect abused and neglected children. I believe, with what income I can generate, and some assistance from the state for the children, I can manage the expenses of household utilities and property taxes, if someone would be kind enough to help us acquire a house. It doesn’t have to be fancy, just large and safe, and somewhere near the area where I am currently living. I’ve thought long and hard about it, and I know this is what is needed, this is what it’s going to take to improve the situation for these children. The mothers will never voluntarily give them up to strangers for adoption, but they would likely give them up to me. The state wont intervene, so this is the last thing I can think of to do...I know some would say, why can't we just RENT a place somehow? First of all, I couldn’t rent a place large enough, with my income, and the state isn’t going to give me ANY money to help support these children, UNTIL they are installed IN A HOUSE, WITH ME. My experience has also been that there are ALWAYS problems with rentals, ESPECIALLY when you have children, and I am simply getting TOO OLD, to deal with all of that, and to move about, from place to place, with 6 children in tow. It’s just more than I’m physically capable of. So, in that sense, the house IS for ME too. I feel it’s the ONLY way I can do this.
Any gifts of cash I receive for this goal, from good people like you, will be set aside for this purpose only. I’ll even send you pictures of my grandkids, if you like. I’ll have them write you letters. (like the children do, in third world countries, when they are sponsored by charity. Unfortunately, no such charity exists for poor children in America, who's circumstances are often nearly as bad) And, as I said, I will provide you with any proof that you ask for.
Another option to consider – if you have in your possession, or know of anyone who does, a HOUSE that you do not need, please consider giving it to me and my grandchildren. I am actually kind of handy, for an old ‘grandma’ (45) and can fix some things, can even do a little carpentry, but it does need to have GOOD PLUMBING, GOOD WIRING, a GOOD ROOF, a SOUND FRAME, & a STURDY FOUNDATION!
If you'd like to help, please contact me at the email address below. I'll be eternally grateful if you find it in your heart to help me provide a safe and stable home for my grandchildren. And please remember the other option – if you have in your possession, or know of anyone who does, a HOUSE that you do not want or need, please consider giving it to my family.
Thank You
Send E-Mail to: glynn@tscnet.com
Copyright © 2004 Gerri Thomas. All Rights Reserved