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The Tines Times.
The blue Kacheek crouched quivering in the small, weak bucket he had just climbed into and lowered. The well wasn't quite pitch black, but dark enough for him to be unable to see the mysterious things bumping into his bucket. The sunlight was just a small yellowish-orange ring just visible when he looked straight up, which he had no intention of doing just now. "They won't get me in here, they won't get me in here..." he kept mumbling to himself, curling into a tiny ball.
"Hey small fry! You okay down there? You're missin' out on all the fun!" shouted an amazingly clear and completely unexpected voice. How could anyone be out, and happy, as the Spyders flooded over Meridell's hard-sown crops and beautiful villages?
The Kacheek glanced up from his position at the bottom of the dank well. "Professor Daina Chani?" he asked, not quite able to believe it. For who else could it be? Everyone else had fled into their farmhouses, barns, stables, and even the palace.
"A'course cute stuff! Need a hand? Call me Chan, I was always a fan o' Jackie's! HI-YAH!" The supposedly genius Spyder researcher, coincidently a fellow Blue Kacheek, started hopping around absurdly, pretending to kick and punch at the approaching Spyders.
"Uh, I suppose I could use some help. Everyone locked their homes and wouldn't let me in!" shouted up the Kacheek at the bottom of the well.
"Well, ain't that a funny thang. Them silly farmers don't know what their missin'. Now I'll haul ya up here, darling; I could use a little help." Chan laughed.
"Er, help? Help you?" asked the Kacheek from the bottom of the well. Chan didn't seem to hear.
He soon found himself at the top, on wonderful solid ground again. With a horde of evil, bloodsucking Spyders, complete with razor-sharp fangs and fresh-blood-red lamps for eyes, less then a mile away. But... when she said she needed help, did that mean in her Spyder research? It must. Oh, man. He hated Spyders... Especially these, trekking who knows where to devour who knows what...
"Thanks, Chan." The nervous Kacheek's terrified voice wavered and plunged. "My name's Dave. Er, what was that about needing help? And shouldn't we get out of here?" He glanced nervously over her shoulder at the approaching mass.
"Not 'needing' by far, sweet, just 'could use'. I kin take care of meself. Well, you up to it, Davey Boy? I'm tracking them Spyders down to, err, *giggle*--"
What was this "professor" giggling about? So she's tracking the creepy Spyders that are going to be on top of them any minute. So what? Besides the dangerous possibility of being devoured alive and all. Uggh, creepy, crawly, hairy, bloodsucking, scarlet red eyes, evil fangs...
"Umm, what was that, Chan?" asked Dave his eyes still flicking toward the now only a few yards away flood of creepy crawly Spyders.
"Just, *chuckle*, I was *giggle*, I was going to say *hysterical laughing*..." The genius Spyder professor fell onto her back, laughing fit to burst. Her eyes watered with with the force of her laughter.
Dave nervously glanced at the monstrous flood of Spyders, now only a number of feet away. "Er, can we please get out of their way?"
"Whatever for?" asked Chan.
Just then a rather small and extremely fat Spyder dashed ahead of the rest. With a flying leap it jumped onto Dave's pale blue and petrified face. With a scream, Dave fell backward into the well, the Spyder still clinging to his head, missing the bucket entirely.
Chan leaned over and, standing on tiptoes, watched the Spyder and Dave plummet to the bottom of the well to land with a gigantic *SPLASH*.
"Where're yo' manna's, Spy?!" shouted down Chan, two red spots of blush easily apparent on her cheeks. "You should know betta than ta jump on pe'ple pleasant nuff to talk ta me!" Strangely, her accent seemed thicker than ever.
In the faint light, barely distinguishable, Chan could see Spy, her petpet Spyder, now perched on Dave's forehead. Dave's eyes were closed, and he looked rather pale. A nasty swelling was coming up behind his left ear. Spy glanced down at Dave and chittered nervously. What passed for a head tilted up at Chan, now with several Spyders crawling over her arms and body, and he chattered loudly.
"Yah, hon, I know ya meant no harm. I know ya were jus trying TA be friendly. But jumping on 'is head when ya 'aven't even been introduced is taking it a bit to far to fast," lectured Chan from above, carefully picking a Spyder off her head before it could crawl down onto her face.
Spy chattered loudly. Understanding her petpet perfectly, she sighed. "Yeh, I s'pose you're right. We'll jus 'ave to take 'im with us. I cain't haul 'im up with no bucket, so I'll git our buddies to 'elp."
Whistling, she signaled several Spyder buddies of her's and Spy's over. They all easily crawled down into the well, and, despite the crumbling rock walls and the icky, murky water, managed to wedge themselves under Dave and haul him up. Good thing Dave was flat out unconscious, or he certainly would've had a stroke.
The Spyders didn't stop carrying him when they reached dry land. They continued onward, entering the flood of Spyders. It looked like Dave the Blue Kacheek was floating on a sea of Spyders.
Chan laughed. "Oh, wonderful. Finally someone will have to believe me!"
The first thing Dave was aware of when he came to was a feeling of millions of soft, furry bodies underneath him. But, that couldn't be. Then he felt himself softly lowered onto the smooth, slightly damp feel of soft grass. The smell of pine, redwood, dandelions, clean dirt, fresh water, a few sweet, aromatic scents he couldn't distinguish... everything had a fresh, wonderful aroma.
A soft paw stroked his shoulder. His eyes opened slowly, revealing Chan sitting next to him. He was in a beautiful clearing in the middle of a vast forest. Not the Haunted Woods, the Enchanted Forest, but perhaps the gently, lovely Mysterious Treezone. A beautiful, clear, clean, wonderful place.
"I'm sorri 'bout scarin' you. If I'dda known you'd react that way I would'da warned you about my petpet."
Her petpet?! Dave laughed inwardly. So it hadn't been a wild, crazy, bloodsucking menace! Just the Professor's silly little Spyder. "Where is your petpet anyhow, Chan?"
Spy crawled onto Chan's lap. It chattered something completely unintelligible to Dave.
"Be polite, Spy. You should know that I'm the only Neopet that understands Spyder!" Chan scolded Spy.
Spy seemed to... chuckle???
A very tiny, but extremely sophisticated voice piped up, in perfect Neopish, "Terribly sorry, dear chap. I'm afraid I did frighten you terribly, to judge by your reaction. May I have the pleasure of meeting your acquaintance formally? Then perhaps you would join myself and my dearest friends for a spot of tea?
Dave stared at the fat Spyder for a few seconds, then, I suppose it's needless to say, he fainted. Again. And he would throughout the rest of the week whenever he came to.
Spy's pinkish red eight eyes glanced up at Chan. He chittered in Spyder, but roughly translated, what he said was "I suppose that means no? How dreadfully rude. Good gracious! I'm late for tea!"
The little fat Spyder dashed off and Chan sighed regretfully, looking at Dave's motionless form. "I s'pose he'll come to soon'a o' late'a."
Then she followed Spy to join the first night of the two weeks of the Annual Spyder Tea Fest.
The End
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