FrankZ's Web Page of Doom, or Something
OK, here it is. Yet another sucky page.
Note: Some people with poor reading comprehension have read the first few paragraphs and assumed I was a Nazi. Read it again. Nazism isn't merely evil: it's a mediocre philosophy that guarantees its own destruction. Resentment based philosophies may make the believer feel good about their lack of accomplishment, but at the same time they perpetuate and encurage that very same lack of accomplishment. And Nazism is the ultimate resentment based philosophy. And now back to the screed.
I must admit that I do love Webspawner. My favorite web page, the one whereby a 13 year old extolled the virtues of Hitler ("a great man" he summarized), is now gone. And that wonderful Poodle Concentration Camp page has disappeared. But I'm sure if you search through Webspawner's search engine you can find pages just as good. There's something about getting your ideas out with no effort or expense that seems to bring out the most, er, interesting opinions.
For fun, try looking for the following on Webspawner's search engine. Fos some reason, the combination of Webspawner and the following topics always makes for entertaining reading-- entertaining in that we can sit back and laugh at the rubes. Admittedly, the following list will also have this page come up in people's search engines, even though it doesn't cover many of the topics below. Tough. Anyway, here is the list that will guarantee amusememt:
Dave Rhodes, sex, Spice Girls, multi level marketing, MLM, UFO, Velikovsky, ghosts, paranormal, psychic, angels, this is not a chain letter, evolution, creationism, Taliban, test (the word "test" will get you 300 pages or more, most of which use the following joke: "This is a test. In the event of an actual web page, you will be notified by the authorities." Some jokes NEVER get stale.)
And, as I always do whenever I pick up a book with an index, look up Hitler. There's something about the very word Hitler that kills all logical discourse. This has been commented on before by members of usenet, but it bears repeating. Webspawner, because of its fascinating user base, has a lot of people who want their say about Hitler.
And, well, who am I? Let's see: I run a mail order business specializing in science fiction related items. I've had some small press books published, and have dabbled in filmmaking.
I once financed (and appeared in) a quantum budget gore/horror film. Since I financed the film, I was allowed to be on the set whenever there were any scenes with nudity in them. I bought a camera while on the shoot, and took several photos for the film's videotape box cover. There is no truth to the rumor that every photo I took was of the female starlet's naked body! And there's no truth to the rumor that I still have all of those nude photos still sitting in my desk.
Yup. Uhhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh.
Right now, I'm working on another book. Like my last one, this will be self published, and will essentially pay for itself, as well as pay a few bills off. Nothing like working like hell to break even!
Other stuff: I like being on the road. Highway 70 is one of my favorite places to travel on. Behold the following wonders of I-70:
The Elvis is Alive Museum (Wright City, MO). Tawdry beyond belief. One of the features is a reproduction of Elvis' gravestone, provided you believe that Elvis' gravestone was made of badly painted, warped plywood and wooden letters glued on. Another feature is a coffin with a dummy inside, which is apparently suppoed to be Elvis. The dummy's wig is a bit ratty looking, as kids apparently can't resist taking it off and playing with it.
Pocahontas, IL. A wonderful little town, whose main claim to fame is that it has more antique stores per capita than any other town. I like this place simply because it is so nondescript: it's the quintissential sleepy toen. If you ever go to Pocahontas, bne sure to eat at the Powhatan restaurant.
The Canary Hotel (just outside Clayton, IN) An archetypal small town hotel. When possible, I prefer staying at non chain hotels, simply because they're usually family run operations. Typical of small town hotels, you check out by leaving your key in your room.
Columbia, MO: My old college town. Since the majority of the population is college students, there are a lot of businesses that cater to the student crowd. One, called "Cool Stuff," sells clothing, knicknacks, toys, and home brewing supplies. Is that enough variety for you?
A sudden segue hits: road and business signs can be amusing. My favorites, to date:
"U SIT WE PUMP" --A gas station sign crudely painted on rotting plywood. I'll let you make your own jokes up for this one, as I have a disdain for the obvious.
"Ho Made Pies" --sign outside of a restaurant. No doubt folks who live in the inner city (and are familiar with street slang) will get quite a chuckle out of this.
"Liquor, Guns and Ammo" -- sign outside a liquor store in Columbia, MO. What a lovely combination. So safe. So sane.
"Homo. Gal.: $1.99" -- sign outside a "Hit and Run" shop (picture a downscale 7-11) The following lyrics come to mind:
Homo gal, won't you come out tonight,
Come out tonight, come out tonight,
Homo gal, won't you come out tonight,
And dance by the light of the moon?
Philosophy: I'm an Atheist, and have been for years. Recently skepticism has become my philosophy as well. Can you picture how I was before-- that is, an Atheist who believed in UFOs, ESP, and all of that other rot? I can't imagine how I did it: "I must have proof that there is a god, but I need a far lesser level of proof to believe in flying saucers." You bet.
My two favorite publications are Skeptic and Skeptical Inquirer. Both complement each other well: Skeptic leans more toward philosophy, with rather long , rather pedantic tomes. Skeptical Inquirer follows more what I would call rolled up shirtsleeve skepticism: they go after hoaxes, expose them, and occasionally there will be a short essay on philosophy. Skeptical Inquirer, incidentally, is associated with CSICOP, the Committee for the Scientific Investigation of Claims Of the Paranormal.
My local bookstore really can't decide how to categorize the above two magazines. Skeptic is frequently placed in the New Age (pronounce it as one word to rhyme with "sewage"), while Skeptical Inquirer can be seen either in the Science or New Age section. I can see it now: some newage type comes into Border's Books, seeks "Skeptic" magazine next to "Gullible Astrologer," and buys himself a copy. Insert your own punchline here.
Nonetheless, I have invented a new art of paranormal divination: fecomancy. Just send a .jpg of your latest movement to apointlessjoke@hotmail.com, and your future will be read for you. This produces valid results 100% of the time. Who needs astrology and all the rest of it, when fecomancy will accurately predict your future!
To get back on topic (hah!) one of my favorite skeptics is James Randi. For years, Randi has been challenging believers in the paranormal to come and be tested by him. And then the story gets fun.
A paranormalist demands: "Put your money where your mouth is!"
So Randi offered a $10,000 prize (his own money), if paranormalists could pass being tested by him.
The paranormalists replied that the money actually got in the way of things, and would repress positive results.
So when Randi didn't offer money, that was bad-- and when he did, that was bad. Oh boy.
Then the paranormalists complained that $10,000 wasn't enough. So Randi upped the ante to over one million dollars, by raising the money and getting pledges.
"The money isn't really there!" the paranormalists bleated. So Randi put forth evidence that the money was indeed in an accout.
"Put the mopney in an escrow account, held by a neutral stakeholder!" one paranormalist cried.
"Where Randi got the initial million dollars is important! We must know this, because full 100% disclosure would mean that there's something to hide!" we hear another Believer say.
Along the way, various Believers have said that they have submitted the forms for the challenge, but were ignored by Randi, all without offering proof, such as certified mail receipts and so on.
So the story at this point is: There should be a money amount offered. There shouldn't be a money amount offered. $10,000 isn't enough. The money isn't there. The money is there, but not in an acceptable form. The form might be acceptable, but we have to know who donated it, because otherwise we should have deep and dark suspicions about wherre the money came from, because it might influence Randi in some way. And Randi has to offer all of this proof up, but the Believers do not have to offer any proof that they have accepted the challenge, and sent in the forms by certified mail and so on.
Now, a cynic might suggest that the above are just examples of Believers trying to weasel out of the Randi challenge by coming up with new excuses.
OK. I'm a cynic.
Below I mention chain letters, which is another favorite topic. It amazes me how chain letters are so analogous to fuzzy thinking in general. The same sort of mentality that doesn't think about where the money would come from in chain letters also doesn't wonder where the energy comes from in perpetual motion motors, or why the only way 'psychics' can ply their wonders is when sloppy experimetal protocols are in place.
In fact, the same arguments are used by all purveyors of questionable ideas. A chain letter participant vehemently defending his scam sounds exactly the same as a psychic explaining away why he fails when tested scientifically, or why an astrologer complains when skeptics trounce him rhetorically. The irony is that these believers don't see the connection between themselves. Picture a cartoon with a 3 year old pointing to another 3 year old and saying "YOUR pile of feces stinks, while MINE smells fresh!"
As an aside, I've argued with the latest crop of perpetual motion motor junkies. I point out that they wouldn't believe it if someone claimed they had a machine whereby they could insert a chocolate pie in one end, and have 1 1/2 chocolate pies come out the other end, with no additional input of matter. They'd say, and rightly so, that you just can't gain mass like that. Why is it that they are perfectly comfortable with saying that a machine can do that with energy?
The answers usually come down to: that's not a valid analogy. But if it can't be done with mass, why is it reasonable with energy? Perhaps if we start classes in irony, analogy, simile, and metaphor, everyone would be better off.
But you know, there is one way that one shaky concepot can work, and it's so, so simple. The folks using radio telescopes to search for intelligent life in the universe (SETI) have given us a clue. Now all we need to do is act on it.
It is said that chain letters eventually break down, because the population of the earth is not large enough to support each chain. That should be no impediment. Get a giant dish and start broadcasting chain letters to outer space! It's possible that there is life out there, and if it is out there, there could be one or more worlds like our own, filled with people who can make the chains grow!
What difference would our own puny planet's limitations make, when we have the whole universe to send out to?
Sure, there would be some problems, such as the speed of light, (would chain letters from 10,000,000,000 years ago still be valid?) currency exchange, cultural differences, the language barrier, figuring out how to ship the money out and who to send it to, how to allocate the energy and radio bandwidth needed to send and countersend offers, and so on. But we could work those out after we begin transmitting. Precious time is being wasted, time that could be used to beam the good news to the stars!
I must wonder what the beings on other planets are thinking now. Could we one day be at the receiving end of amazing money making offers? Could the first ever communication from another planet end with "Do not break the chain"?
I await the future with great anticipation.
A SEGUE:
The Internet exists essentially for the existence of three things: pornography, scientology, and chain letters. Everything else just interferes with those three subjects. But still, amid all the noise that interferes with the Internet's true purpose, some interesting stuff gets through.
My favorite usenet group is sci.skeptic. Mind you, because of crossposting, you can read all of what usenet has by just picking any group at random. But occasionally a post or two of new material makes its way on sci.skeptic. The main problem with debates on sci.skeptic is that hey're so one sided: the skeptics have facts and figures on their side, while the Believers can only respond with emotional outbursts. But to even things out, the Believers can always manage to come up with more bluster, at times convincing at least themselves that they made a valid point.
At this point I had originally listed a cast of characters from sci.skeptic. Nothing changes on usenet more than the people themselves. Some of the people I had pegged as believers also did journeyman work as skeptics. Some who I thought were permanent fixtures have left. Some who had left later returned.
Actually, it's kind of interesting: when people don't have a personal stake in a belief, they can be as skeptical as any scientist. Thus you might have someone who had issues with James Randi's psychic challenge go full-out in attacking homeopathy. Generally, the believers remain silent when something they have no stake in is being attacked: sort of "I won't expose your fraud if you won't expose mine." But some do surprise.
SPECIAL LITTLETON COMMENTARY:
Ah, lovely. No sooner had blood been spilled in Columbine High School than the bottom feeders were trying to get their social agendas put on the front burner-- all in the name of sympathy for the tragedy. The religious loons said it was due to lack of prayer in school. The anti entertainment crowd blamed it on violent video games and movies (as we all know, taking things away from kids that they enjoy is always the best solution). The pro gun and anti gun people saw the incident as proving their respective points. The tragedy has been lost in all of the posturing.
Black trenchcoats have been banned at many schools. Even joking about violence can bring punishment. Noncomformists of all stripes are looked at with suspicion.
Why is it that no matter what happens in the news, the call goes out immediately: Let's reduce the amount of freedom we have?
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