FOSTER PARENTS HELP GUIDE
The things you taught me I will always know.
The things you taught me I will always know.
How could I not? The roots have sunk so deep:
All lessons of the heart that I will keep
No matter who I am or where I go.
Kids learn from what their parents are, and so
You are my book of life, the thoughts I reap;
Only in your arms I quiet sleep;
Under my words your voice sings soft and slow.
From you I learned the rules of right and wrong
Against which I at times had to rebel,
Though with regret I carry with me still.
How lucky I am to have been loved so well,
Even as I pushed against your will,
Relying on a father fair and strong.
Copyright by
Nicholas Gordon
http://www.poemsforfree.com/thethi.html
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Always looking for new things to add to this page, let me hear your suggestions.
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BOOKS
The following books are ones that I have that were given to me by the Foster Care Unit here.
* The Teenager's Guide to the Real World by Marshall Brain (of HowStuffWorks fame]. There are 20 free online chapters here:
http://bygpub.com/books/tg2rw/
* A childs journey through placement by: Vera I. Fahlberg, M.D.
Foster Parent Primer [What you need to know about being a Foster parent but don't know who to ask] by: Jennie Martin and Susan Goodburn
* What teens need to succeed by: Peter L Benson, PH.D...Judy Galraith, M.A. and Pamela Espeland
* Professional Parenthood [A guide for Foster Care] by: Vincenette Scheppler, M.S.W.
* Building Moral Intelligence by: Michele Borba, ED.D.
* The Adoption Dilemma [A handbook for Adoptive Parents] by: Vincenette Scheppler, M.S.W.
* Welcome Home by: Chistopher J. Alexander, PH.D.
[Detailed guide to: Attachment, Behavior, Counseling, Education]
* Under the Influence [Myths and Realities of ALCOHOLISM] by: Jmaes R Milam, Ph. D, and Katherine Ketcham
* Practical tools for Foster Parents [Based on Girls and Boys Town's: Common Sense Parenting] By: several authors
* Tell me again about the night I was born by: Jamie Lee Curtis, Illustrated by: Laura Cornell
* A Very Happy Story [A story about a Foster Child]
* What's Happening in Court [An activity book for children who are going to court in CALIFORNIA] by: Judicial Council of California
* Simple Secrets of Parenting [Easy as A B C] by: John Q. Baucom, Ph.D.
* Understanding Children's Sexual Behaviors [What's natural and healthy] by: Toni Cavanagh, Ph.D.
* How to Create a LIFEBOOK by: Beth O'Malley, M.ED. < Call for orders: 817-784-3803 or email: dave@arvinpublicatoins.com
* A mother for Choco by: Keiko Kasza
* Tapestry Books [Resource for ADOPTION books] 800-765-2367 or www.tapestrybooks.com
* My Foster Family [A story for children entering foster care] by: Jennifer Levine
* Twenty things adopted kids wish their adoptive parents knew by: Sherrie Eldridge
* Between Parents and Teenager by: Dr. Haim G. Ginott
* Rewards for kids [I just ordered this book and it is awesome! It has charts and activities for foster parenting. Includes pages for special chores the kids do, free rewards certificates and much, much more. I would recommend this book to newbies and those who have been in Foster/Adopt for sometime. Great ideas.] by: Virginia M. Shiller, Ph.D.
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ADOPTION SITES:
GO TO LINKS PAGE AND CLICK ON ADDRESS
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GREAT INFORMATIONAL SITES
GO TO LINKS PAGE AND CLICK ON ADDRESS
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OTHER SITES
GO TO LINKS PAGE AND CLICK ON ADDRESS
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HEALTH ISSUES: ADHD, FAS, RAD & OTHERS
GO TO LINKS PAGE AND CLICK ON ADDRESS
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20 Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adopted Parents Knew
1. I suffer a profound loss before I was adopted. You are not responsible.
2. If I don't grieve that loss, my ability to receive love from you and others will be hindered.
3. I need your help in grieving my loss. Encourage me to express my feelings about my adoption and then validate them.
4. Just because I don't ask about my birth family doesn't mean I don't think about them.
5. My unresolved grief and loss may surface in anger towards you.
6. Don't let my outward confidence fool you. Look beneath the facade to my shattered self-esteem.
7. I want you to take the initiative in opening conversations about my birth family.
8. I am afraid that if I voice my feelings about my birth family, I may hurt you - that I will seem ungrateful or disloyal to you.
9. I am afraid that you will abandon me.
10. Because of my fear of abandonment, I will do almost anything to please you/get you to reject me.
11. Please don't say that I look or act just like you. I need to be myself.
12. Please acknowledge and celebrate my differences. That will validate my emotional reality.
13. Birthdays are often difficult for me.
14. I need to know the truth about my conception, birth and family history, no matter how painful the details may be.
15. Please don't introduce me as your adopted child. I feel different enough already.
16. I have a deep need to know my biological family and medical histories.
17. Please reassure me through firm and loving discipline that you can handle my strong emotions.
18. Please assure me that no matter how obnoxious my behavior, I will always be your child.
19. Please express your permission and encouragement for me to search for my birth family, should I so choose.
20. Please know that even if I do search and find, my love and appreciation for you will always remain unchanged and may even deepen.
By: Sherrie Eldridge
Make sure you look for Sherri Eldridge's book: Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adopted Parents Knew
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