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FNS Edition 3.7: You Can’t Touch This
THE FELLIP NECTAR STAND… Edition 3.7: You Can’t Touch This
Author: LeatherGirl
Disclaimer: I do not own Farscape™, Scapers™, PeaceKeepers, Jim Henson Productions™, Channel 9™, John Crichton, Aeryn Sun, Ka’D’Argo, Rygel the XVI, Chiana, Jool, Bialar Crais, Moya, Talyn, Scorpius, Stark, Zhaan, Dren, Frell, Eema, Fellip Nectar, Raslac, DRDs, Pulse Pistols, Pulse Rifles, Unity, or anything else created in the minds of Rockne O’ Bannon and company. I am just a fan of the show, okay? Can’t I be a little creative, have some fun, and move on with the day? I borrowed Giggling_Star, CommanderSun, grammykins, BigNoseBob, and myself to help illustrate the Scaper POV as well. I put words in these FNS Regulars’ mouths and I hope I do not offend any of them in any way. While I understand completely and encourage disclaimers and copyrighting and so forth, I do not agree with TPTB wanting to trademark the term “Scapers”. Did we not coin that term ourselves? I hope through this edition that I am making myself clear on this issue. Otherwise, we can go to the five-gazillion page legal document pertaining to disclaimers for Farscape. And if you really wanna have some fun, view this edition on the web page to see those good old Trademark and Copyright symbols in full force. Have a nice day. :)
Become a FNS Regular: http://www.geocities.com/fellipnectarstand/regulars.html
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Setting: The Fellip Nectar Stand…
Characters: John, Aeryn, D’Argo, Rygel, Chiana, Jool, Crais, and Pilot as well as a few Scapers™ we all know and love.
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[Drinking in their usual over-sized booth are all our favorite FS (hey it’s abbreviated, no TM!) characters drinking Fellip Nectar. They are all frustrated and trying to relax. Hey, the Big Bangalow was outta commission, okay? ;)]
John: “So I’m walking to the terrace and I trip on a frelling DRD. I fall face first into a pile of Vorc Dren. Where the frell did it come from you may ask? Maybe we should turn our attentions now to Chiana, professional snurcher.” [Growls and glares at Chiana who drops her jaw.]
Chiana: “Hey! I only ordered another Vorc because I thought it would cheer Aeryn up.”
[Chiana glances at Aeryn who only continues to stare at her drink miserably.]
Jool: [Peers at her flask of Fellip Nectar with disgust.] “They put a frelling disclaimer label on the Fellip Nectar!”
John: [Rolls eyes.] “It’s called a brand label and it is legally necessary to protect one’s own creation.”
D’Argo: “What legal system are we talking about here? The PeaceKeepers?”
Rygel: “And what exactly are they trying to protect? It’s simply a mixture of nectar from the planet….”
Aeryn: [Slams flask down on table and glares at everyone.] “We simply wish to keep order in the universe.” [Stands up and heads to the bar.]
Crais: “While I have to agree with Aeryn, I do not agree with the fact that Fellip Nectar must be served only at the Fellip Nectar Stand…. What about the Big Bangalow, the Black Hole Disco Rave˜, and all the other alcohol merchants in the Uncharted Territories? What will they serve then?”
BigNoseBob: [Walks past booth at the appropriate moment.] “Why, Flibisk Juice, of course!” [Continues on his way while others watch him disappear into the crowd of the bar that evening.]
John: “Hey, we’ve gotta protect what we create or someone else is gonna want to steal it and make a fortune off of it. Does a certain person and phenomenon come to mind?” [Raises hands in question.]
Pilot: [Lifts up an arm to take a sip of Shrellup and nearly spills his flask of Nature Girl’s Uncharted Enigma with the other three.] “Don’t the Ancients own the rights to wormhole technology?”
John: [Shakes his head and pats Pilot on the head.] “No, my friend. Only the laws of physics own wormholes. Only the laws of physics.”
Chiana: “Fizzicks? What species is that?”
Jool: [Kicks Chiana under the table.] “Physics, you tralk.”
Chiana: [Straightens and puffs her chest out at Jool who does the same.] “Who are you to call me a tralk? Have you seen your own reflection lately?”
D’Argo: [Reaches hands out to hold both the women back.] “Girls, girls!”
Rygel: “Maybe you should take them out in the Growler and drop them off at the nearest Command Carrier.”
Pilot: “Moya would be more than willing to do so.” [Glares at Chiana and Jool.]
John: [Shakes head and speaks to no one in particular. His friends are more entertained with fighting with each other at the moment.] “Why do I even bother trying to carry on a conversation with you people?” [John takes his flask and slips under the table, crawling to the other side and walking over to the bar to find Aeryn.]
Chiana: [Still arguing with Jool.] “Don’t even think about it!”
Jool: “What? Stealing D’Argo from you?” [Leans forward with a teasing glare.] “He’s already let me ride in the Growler six times.”
Chiana: [Glares at D’Argo in surprise and anger.] “Six times!?”
D’Argo: “Well…I…uh…not re…she…yes.”
Rygel: [Turns to Crais as the four-armed waitress brings a squirming pile of Hynerian Mojules to the table.] “You know, John had a point there.”
Crais: [Shoulders slump.] “Yes, and what is that?” [Looks around at the half-drunken aliens in the bar who are partying away to the music of the PK2.]
Rygel: “You say it, we own it.”
Pilot: “Say what?”
Crais: “Who are ‘we’?”
Rygel: “It’s a figurative phrase I’ve heard time and again on my Royal Planet. Anything that was even remotely interesting and viable to make a profit was stolen from our subjects and I gave it my official approval for the statehood of yours truly, to own it.” [Gobbles down a handful of mojules with satisfaction.]
Crais: “Well that’s quite immoral. Are there any other words of wisdom from the Dominar of Infringement?”
Rygel: [Smugly.] “No. Anything I say may be used against me. I don’t want another Litigara incident.”
[CommanderSun, Giggling_Star, and grammykins enter into the stand and make their way towards the bar. LeatherGirl is already seated there and welcomes them to sit beside her.]
CommanderSun: [Pats an arm down on the bar.] “Barkeep! Kylian Fectar now—please!”
LeatherGirl: “Rough day?”
Grammykins: “You heard what happened to Dallascaper’s site, right?”
LeatherGirl: “Yeah. Frell, huh?”
Giggling_Star: “I fear for all Farscape Fan-based sites right now.”
CommanderSun: [Hands flasks to everyone and takes a sip of her own.] “When did we, Scapers, become trademarks, anyway?”
LeatherGirl: “I believe the moment we crossed the line into the mind of Rockne and friends.” [Drinks from her flask with dishearten spirits.] “I fear the Fellip Nectar Stand… is in danger of being closed down.”
Grammykins: “Hey, have no fear, my friends! The sun is still shining. The wormholes are still churning. And we have not made a single dime off of our obsession. We’re just deranged fans, that’s all. They have to keep us happy you know.”
Giggling_Star: [With a twinkle in her eye.] “If they want to own Scapers, do you think they’ll want to make us into action figures?”
TPTB: [In a big booming voice that startles everyone throughout the stand.] “Ooooh! I’ve gotta write that one down and take it to Action Figure ACMEF Monday morning!”
*****
Sick of the law? It keeps us in line and keeps things fair. It can work for us and against us. Just remember, as Haleypop has pointed out, that even writing fanfics, like this edition, can be copyright violations. Just as long as we all say we’re making no profit and say that we are making a parody of the original idea, we’re okay. Or this is at least how I understand it. There are fanfics for many shows and even movies. So can they hunt every single author down and persecute him or her? I’m confused I guess. Either way, I do understand the issue of copyrighting, as I am a photographer. Don’t you hate it when things get technical? We just wanna have fun! Oooh, wait, isn’t that a quote? I think I better find out who said it and cite the person! Geesh! ;)
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