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FNS Super Special Edition: ScaperCon 2001
THE FELLIP NECTAR STAND Super Special Edition: ScaperCon 2001
Author: LeatherGirl
Disclaimer: I do not own Farscape or anything associated with Farscape. And I'm not at ScaperCon even though everyone thinks I am! Hehehe. If your name appears in this edition and you have a line, please realize that this is all fiction and I borrow you for only a microt. I put words into your mouths and had no idea if these actually fit your personalities or not. But either way... at least you got to be in an edition and interact with the Farscape characters, right??? ;) No pun was intended on any of your behalf; unless you can take a joke! Just remember... nothing's serious here! Blue Goo is a beverage of NIBB-fizz.
Web Site: http://www.geocities.com/fellipnectarstand
Info on FNS Regulars if you'd like to join:
http://www.geocities.com/fellipnectarstand/regulars.html
Setting: ScaperCon 2001, Ohio
*****
[The crowded parking lot of the hotel where ScaperCon resides this year suddenly grows dark. The sun is being blocked. Scapers meandering about glance towards the sky and their eyes widen and their mouths drop open. Hovering above them is, you guessed it, Moya and Talyn. A few Scapers while a few others jump up and down in excitement. Yet even a few others try to look nonchalant. Hey, it's what John Crichton would do, isn't it?]
John G: "Holy Frell in a Hand Basket."
[Other crewmates aboard Moya look to him only briefly and then back to the view screen showing the parking lot below.]
Rygel: [Speaking over open comms between the two ships.] "They look like a bunch of Hynerian Mojule Larvae scurrying to find their mother." [Laughs.]
Jool: "Ugh! Fantastic analogy."
Aeryn: "Is this the correct location?" [Sternly glances over to LeatherGirl, who is gawking at John T standing beside her on Talyn.]
LeatherGirl: "Ah, er..." [Takes a step forward to glance out Talyn's view screen.] "Yep... hey, I can see my house from here!"
John T: "Isn't it in Wisconsin?"
D'Argo: [Over the comms.] "The cheese colony?"
LeatherGirl: "Hey... wait, how did you know that?"
John G: [Over the comms.] "We've had a lot of time to chat around here. Hey Moya, park her here, will ya?"
Pilot: "Park? I do not understand the meaning of..."
John G, John T, and LeatherGirl: "Dock!"
[Crais and Aeryn immediately duck to the ground, their weapons drawn. LeatherGirl and John T roll their eyes and shake their heads.]
Pilot: "Oh."
[Both Moya and Talyn hover close to the hotel, squeezing themselves between another building and a nearby patch of trees. A hotel concierge on a lunch break sees the two ships and keels over into the water fountain outside the hotel. The crews of Moya and Talyn slowly clamber out, with Scapers already rushing up to greet them.]
Anonymous Scaper: "Frell, this is just like Galaxy Quest! Are you here to save the planet? Oh wait, I have to get my friends over here for a picture... Pose by the ships, will ya?" [Exasperated Scaper rushes away towards the parking lot. LeatherGirl ushers everyone to keep a low profile and follow her closely.]
LeatherGirl: "Hurry up, guys! If we're lucky, we can enter through the back without anyone noticing us."
Chiana: "Ah, I think it's too late for that."
John G: "Why?"
[Chiana points and the rest of the group glance over towards the front of the hotel. Rygel is surrounded by a crowd of screaming fans; all of them wanting an autograph.]
Stark: "Frell. Should we go or should we stay?" [Jool slaps a hand onto his mouth before Aeryn has a chance to.]
Aeryn: "And you haven't even been staying on the same ship with him."
LeatherGirl: "Come on guys, I think I see a way in. See those clothes racks over there? We can hide behind them and..." [Aeryn walks past with a gun raised.]
John T: [Following close behind, winks at LG.] "Can't argue with a pulse pistol."
LeatherGirl: [Shakes her head.] "I knew this was a bad idea."
D'Argo: [Pats LeatherGirl on the back and walks along with her as they follow Aeryn.] "Hey, at least you got us here in one piece. And as far as I can tell, you haven't frelled anything up like Crichton has."
LeatherGirl: [Side glances to D'Argo.] "Ah, gee... thanks D'Argo."
D'Argo: "Any time." [Walks ahead.]
Crais: "Rygel! Get your eema out of there now!"
Rygel: [Giggles at all the girls swooning over him.] "There's plenty more time for us to get acquainted, girls! But I must leave now... I'm needed for a much more pressing matter. Being a Dominar isn't all fun and krabbage now is it?" [Zooms away from crowd of fans and meets up with the crew as they enter into the back of the hotel, presumably unnoticed.]
Chiana: "Why are we here and not at the one in this California you mentioned earlier? Isn't that supposed to be the biggest party on the planet?"
LeatherGirl: [Hushes Chiana.] "Quiet! The Burbank con is the biggest, but I think that the ScaperCon is the best... all the Scapers are here to have fun together. If the actual actors were here, they'd be pining over them all frelling day. They'd be competing with each other just to get a whiff of Ben's cologne as he passes them by."
Jool: "Ever heard the word obsession?"
Aeryn: [Smirks.] "It's a common trait in humans, I've decided."
[Loud thundering applause interrupts the crew as they sneak through a darkened hallway. Aeryn trains her pulse pistol on the wall with John T, John G, Crais, Chiana, and D'Argo following suit. Jool places her hands on her hips and begins to pick her teeth. Stark paces back and forth, fretting. Rygel finds a spare Hynerian Mojule in his throne sled and begins to munch on it loudly. LeatherGirl's comms crackle and she jumps.]
LeatherGirl: [Hisses into comms.] "Pilot, not now!"
Pilot: "But... but someone has..."
Stark: [Whispers loudly into his comms.] "NOT NOW!"
[The thundering applause through the wall begins to quiet down and a single voice can be heard, announcing the opening ceremonies of ScaperCon 2001.]
John G: "2001?"
John T: [With a smirk.] "Frell, I guess the Apocalypse never did happen, huh?"
LeatherGirl: [Finds a small pinhole in the wall and peers through it.] "I wonder if jedikatie got here okay... she's supposed to be representing me."
Jool: "You're here aren't you? Why don't you just go in there and announce your presence?"
[LeatherGirl instantly grows a shade of red and backs away from the wall.]
Crais: "Now what?"
LeatherGirl: "I'm shy."
John G: "Could've fooled me."
LeatherGirl: "No, really, I'm shy... like as in, afraid of large crowds... as in cannot speak."
Rygel: "Here, have some punch." [Hovers over and gives LeatherGirl a cup of red liquid. She peers at it questioningly, shrugs and takes a drink anyway.]
Chiana: "Hey, where'd you get that? I want to try some!" [Reaches over and takes the glass from LeatherGirl, who is now smiling from ear to ear.]
John T: [Notices the change.] "What'd you do, Sparky?"
Rygel: [Laughs mischievously.] "You said I could easily fit into small spaces... so I crawled into the next room, slipped underneath the beverage bar and helped myself to this large vat of red liquid. It was quite bizarre, so I added a few things to it."
John G: [Steps forward in alarm. LeatherGirl and Chiana are now bouncing off the walls, literally.] "What did you put in that stuff, Rygel?" [Points his pulse pistol in Rygel's face.]
Rygel: [Emits a small odorless squeal of gas. John G backs away as do the others. Rygel responds in a falsetto voice.] "Raslac... Fellip Nectar... maybe a little Kylian Fectar."
Crais: "Kylian Fectar? You put Kylian Fectar in it?"
Aeryn: "Frell." [Shakes head.]
D'Argo: "I knew I should never have let Chiana get that stuff."
Stark: "We would have run into it sooner or later. We like danger." [Eyes D'Argo spookily with his one eye.]
Jool: [Places hands on hips and avoids LeatherGirl as she bounces into the wall beside her.] "Are we just going to stand here in the dark or are we going to go in there?"
Crais: "There's no door."
John G: [Rolls eyes.] "You guys are way too spoiled. You have to open them yourselves where I come from. Look, see that red sign down the hall? That's the entrance."
John T: "It says EXIT you idiot."
John G: "They don't know that!"
LeatherGirl: "Here, let's just go through the walls, guys. It's much quicker!" [LeatherGirl backs away from the wall and prepares to charge into it. The crew around her yells and reaches out for her to stop but it's too late. Both she and Chiana charge into the wall and come crashing into the large ballroom beyond. The ballroom filled to the brim with Scapers grows quiet as dust and debris settles and 9 very stunned off-worlders stare back at them from within the collapsed wall.]
smushybutt: [Whispers to her fellow board members on stage.] "How the frell are we going to explain that one?"
DelvianPrince: "Never mind the explanation... how are we going to clean it up?!"
[All Scapers in the room get a clear view of LeatherGirl and Chiana sitting in the debris with John T, John G, Aeryn, Crais, D'Argo, Stark, Rygel, and Jool standing behind them in the darkened hallway. Again, a few while a few others let out a cry of shock. The rest just stand in pure silence, pondering on the next course of action. Was this all truly happening?]
Scaper: "Oh my god! It's the cast of Farscape!"
[Suddenly, the entire group of Scapers begins to scream wildly and stampede towards the crew.]
Chiana: "Ah, LeatherGirl... shouldn't we get up now? By the way, how's your eema?" [The two stand up quickly and are already caught in the stampede.]
LeatherGirl: "My wha..." [At that moment, an anonymous Scaper slaps LeatherGirl and Chiana in the eema. Both shriek and turn to watch the crew behind them be bombarded by excited fans.]
Chiana: "Whose idea was this again?" [Rubs eema sorely.]
D'Argo: "Please! Please, one at a time!" [Ushers Scapers back so that he and his fellow crewmates can get some breathing room.]
[After a half hour of Scapers trying to get all of the crew's attention at once, the excitement dies down and people spread out in the ballroom. Rygel resumes his position at the beverage bar with Stark. Jool and Chiana follow LeatherGirl to find the girls room to freshen up. Aeryn walks with one arm linked with John T and the other arm linked with John G. Crais tries to walk around with the twelve females permanently attaching themselves to him. D'Argo sits on the edge of the stage, telling stories with a few Scapers who have crowded around him.]
JulietEcho: [Approaches LeatherGirl as she, Jool, and Chiana exit the girls room.] "Hey LeatherGirl! I thought I'd see you here! Hi Chiana and Jool, I love your outfits."
LeatherGirl: "An FNS Regular! Hey, JulietEcho! By the way, stay away from the punch."
[JulietEcho laughs and then heads off to the beverage bar. LeatherGirl calls out after her but shakes her head.]
Jool: "I guess she didn't really understand what you meant by that."
Chiana: "Maybe she saw Crais or one of the Johns over there."
[All three nod their heads in agreement and continue on their way through the crowds.]
Jedikatie: [Spots Aeryn and both Johns coming towards her.] "Ben, Claudia! And er... Ben?"
Aeryn: "Who is Claudia?"
John T: "Ben? I know I may look like the average Joe but I ain't no Ben."
John G: "The name rings a bell, but..."
Jedikatie: "Sure, you guys are from Farscape. Frell, that's what we're all here for, you know. I had no clue you guys were going to be here though!"
grammykins: [Passes the four by and shakes her fist in the air.] "Rock on!" [Aeryn gives her a strange look.]
John G: "We should really be going now..."
Jedikatie: [Gets excited.] "If you guys are here, is Jonathan Hardy here too?" [Glances around wildly.]
John T: [Smiles.] "Sure he is! He's at the punch bowl... have a drink while you're at it. You'll need it when you see him!" [John G and Aeryn both laugh and the three move on their way, leaving Jedikatie to search for the beverage bar on her own.]
Crais: "I would be happy to show you around Talyn, if you'd let go of me for a microt."
Leah3: [In awe.] "You brought along some of the set from Farscape? That's too awesome! How'd you get it here? Semi? Cargo plane?"
Mreen: "So Lani, could you do Pilot's voice for us?" [Bats eye lashes.]
Crais: [Rolls eyes for the thirty-second time this fine day and shakes hands as he speaks.] "Once again, I am ex-PeaceKeeper Captain Bialar Crais, now commanding the hybrid gunship Talyn. I do not know who Lani is and I will not imitate another creature of which I have no desire to sound alike."
Violettefrost: "Hey, is that the transponder in your neck?! Wow, you guys went all out for us didn't you? I've really gotta write a letter to that make-up department for their amazing work!"
[Crais rolls eyes and the group pushes on through the crowd.]
D'Argo: [Polishes his Qualta Blade one last time and smiles at the group surrounding him.] "So I told her not to let the tattoo fool her... it was the only falsehood on my body!"
[Group laughs hysterically, though a few passer-bys were left completely confused as to the fact they hadn't heard the first part of the story.]
Shipscat: "So what other acting projects have you been immersed in lately?
D'Argo: "Acting? Do you think everything I do is an act? I'm a warrior... I've fought in two battle campaigns and survived with that human for nearly three cycles! I do not act."
Shipscat: [Widens eyes.] "Whoa, Anth, cool it. I was just asking..."
D'Argo: "Again, who is this Anth? Do I look like him? I sure as hezmana haven't seen any other Luxans around here."
[Instantly becomes quiet when he sees a Scaper dressed in Luxan attire pass them by. He shakes his head and looks back to the group.]
D'Argo: "I'm sorry, really. There's been a lot of pressure lately, and..."
Shipscat: "We understand completely Anth. Why not tell us another one of your stories? There are a lot of us taking notes for future fanfic projects!" [Leans forward excitedly with pen and paper in hand.]
D'Argo: [Takes big breath and plays along.] "Well... there was this hilarious incident involving Chiana and the Storage Facility..."
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