Gonzo's Dented Chicken Poems
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How Shall We Bury Mother?
by Gonzo
How Shall We Bury Mother?
Shall we hack her to pieces and feed her to the dogs?
I thought that would be cute since she was terrified of dogs.
No.
The poor dogs would get ill eating her filth and hatred.
Shall we hack her to pieces and force her down the toilet with a plunger?
She always did say she would like to be buried at sea.
No.
We would get in trouble with the EPA for polluting the waterways!
Shall we leave her lying on the sand in the desert and let the vulture's devour her?
I thought it would sweet to see the vultures rip her heart out.
No.
Vultures vomit to defend themselves against predators, but they don't eat anything that smells worse than a combination of their own vomit and feces.
How shall we bury mother?
How shall we bury a filthy, soul-less, hateful woman who polluted our minds
and lives while she lived, and is a Biohazard in death?
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Tomatoes on my Mother's Grave
by Gonzo
Mother
When you died,
I vowed I was going to use your
grave as a toilet bowl
Oh to squat bare assed
over your mouldering remains,
and leave a foul tribute to you!
Such a fitting memorial
for such a filthy hearted
hateful woman
Reason got the better of me,
and instead,
I planted tomatoes
Today I went to cemetery
and I picked the ripe, and
juicy offerings of your grave
Somehow, there is something
so satisfying in eating tomatoes
grown on your grave
Those juicy tomatoes
represent how delicious life is,
now that you lie rotting in the ground
The fact that you are dead isn’t enough.
Eating those tomatoes is like
I am eating your death!
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Milk Buckets of Love
by Gonzo
My loving soldier boys, you catch the pearly drops of man milk that spill forth from my fleshy gun, collecting them in your soft, petal pink vessels of love. Some would say that a bucket underneath an old bull like me makes no sense a'tall. But you, my little soldier boys, are my chalices of masculine love. Soft and hard, salty and sweet, yielding yet rigid - renaissance men of love. Through you I am reborn. I hear you cry out as you give birth to my throbbing, pulsating, erect symbol of love, which after a lengthy salute is honorably discharged and lies draped over your brimming buckets like a beautiful, limp flag. Red, the symbol of your loving, sacrificial, yielding birth pangs. White, the symbol of my purest love and blinding orgasmic ecstasy. Blue, the color of the now empty vessels in my manly orbs, as they shrink and soften until the next session of love. My two special soldier boys, you are my truest loves.
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Turgid Noodle
by Gonzo
Turgid noodle, slapping my thigh
sticky man love spurts in my eye.
Sexy little guinea pig
Nestle in my panty wig.
Beef, sausage, pork and hairy ham
I can't get enough of my military man.
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Derndee Derndee Derndee Clotted Cream
by Gonzo
Derndee derndee derndee
the clotted cream flows freely when
spelunking the backpanty regions
Dandified guinea pig solitude
isn't all it's cracked up to be
I'm in a cold, lonely place and
sooty guinea pigs and dusty wombats
are passionate lovers
I could use some sooty guinea pig passion
with a hot, young cadet
Derndee derndee derndee clotted cream
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Chocolate Ritual
by Gonzo
I'm a child of the warmer climes you know
We attired ourselves in less cloth and more skin
Let us strip down to our manly speedo's
Shall we slay a dragon to feast upon?
Or shall we indulge in chocolate?
Ah, but there is a thought!
Let us engage in a sensual chocolate ritual
for this occassion
I wish to indulge in your bodily chocolate
I shall feast upon your dingleberries
and wash them down with your father's milk
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The Amazing Fish Tango of Passion
by Gonzo
Floink floink flackitee floo
let's dance the amazing fish tango
our sweaty bodies pressed together
manhood to manhood
so firm and filled with
the burning liquid of love
so ready to overflow
but wait my love
let's make this dance of love last
Let the music of passion play and play
until we explode and collapse
breathless and wet in to a pool
of a sweat and spent love
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Love Vole
By Gonzo
Meat wand. Meat wand. Fleshy man pole.
Meat eye. Meat eye. Blind eye hole.
Fleshy orbs. Fleshy Orbs. Hanging down low
Get near a brown puckered eye and the juices start to flow.
Panty creature. Panty creature. Blind as a vole.
doesn't need vision to burrow in to a puckered hole.
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Hot Donkey. Big Rooster
by Gonzo
TEST parTICULAR discomfort
when I see a man with a hot donkey
and a big rooster in tight jeans
my pen is uncomfortable in my pants
I need relief
My pen is out, I doodle with it a little
as I watch the man with the hot donkey
and the big rooster in tight jeans
I summon up the courage to approach him
My pen is poised for action
and I get his phone number
My pen is back in my pants for now
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Barren Cow
by Momma
Sunday afternoon joy ride
My cow rides beside me unprotected
No seat belt will accomodate her large size
I take a chance letting her ride unprotected
but she gets so much enjoyment from a Sunday ride
She sits beside me softly mooing and chewing her cud
peacefully enjoying the sight of green pastures
filled with sweet grasses fly past her.
She's always a little wistful when she sees a calf
since she hasn't calved yet
She keeps the bull busy servicing her
but nothing has resulted from their hot bovine passion
except an empty womb, regrets, and teats that are aching to nurse
Ahh well. Maybe it's better she doesn't calve.
She'd be too busy with her calf and I do enjoy having
company on my peaceful Sunday joy rides.
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