God and Sex
See How Well You Really Know Me
1. What was the weather like on the day that I almost killed someone because I forgot I had lent my lab report to someone to copy and thought I had lost it.
A: Sunny & Hot
B: Sunny & Cold
C: Rainy
D: Snow
2. Why did I not attend my senior prom?
A: I’m too ugly to get a date.
B: I was at the Chemistry Olympiad Study Camp, conveniently located in Colorado Springs.
C: Well, I said I was at the Study Camp, but I really only went as an excuse not to go the prom so I wouldn’t have to tell my Mom that I wanted to go with a non-Jewish girl.
3. What math course did I drop in Fall 2003?
A: Calculus
B: Multivariable
C: Linear Algebra
D: Differential Equations
4. What facet of chemistry do I like least
A: The stuff involving calculations
B: Analytical Chemistry
C: Inorganic Chemistry
D: Stereochemistry
5. What was the second step in my three-step science fair project last year?
A: Baeyer-Villager Oxidation
B: Finklestein Iodination
C: Tosylation
D: Nucleophilic addition to an aldehyde.
6. In which of the following grades did I have the most suicidal thoughts?
A: 3rd
B: 4th
C: 5th
D: 6th
7. In which grade did I have my longest relationship?
A: 6th
B: 8th
C: 10th
D: 12th
8. Was she Jewish?
A: Yes
B: No
C: Yes, but she looked Asian
9. Have I ever gone been arrested?
A: Yes
B: No
C: No, but I was pretty damn close.
10. What drugs have I done?
A: Just weed
B: weed and crack
C: weed and ecstasy
D: none
11. Do I smoke?
A: Yes
B: I used to, and I quit
C: No
D: Hell no, and I’ve considered murdering the people who smoke in my high school’s bathroom
12. Do I drink?
A: Never
B: All the time
C: I tried, but I hated it.
D: Only for religious ceremonies.
13. Which New York City subway line have I never been on?
A: Culver
B: Brighton
C: 6av Express
D: Flushing
14. Which of the following physics material did I like the least?
A: Rotation/Torque
B: Thermodynamics
C: Optics
D: Quantum physics
15. When did I first walk over the Benjamin Franklin Bridge with my own foot power?
A: March 1999
B: July 2001
C: August 2002
D: June 2003
16. Which song artist(s) did I parody for my AOL website?
A: Gilbert & Sullivan
B: Weird Al
C: U2
D: None, I made it up totally myself
17. In which of the following grades did I have the most suicidal thoughts?
A: 7th
B: 8th
C: 9th
D: 10th
18. What is my favorite Jewish holiday?
A: Rosh Hashanah (Jewish new year)
B: Yom Kippur (Day of atonement)
C: Hanukkah
D: Passover
19. What is my least favorite Jewish holiday?
A: Rosh Hashanah
B: Yom Kippur
C: Succot
D: Passover
20. What did I talk about for my 6th Grade graduation speech?
A: Ancient Egypt
B: Leading Jewish prayer services
C: The Stock Market
D: Moving on
21. What did I get at the Carver Science Fair in 9th Grade?
And
22. What did I get at the Delaware Valley Science Fair in 9th Grade?
A: First Place
B: Second Place
C: Third Place
D: Honorable Mention
E: Nothing
23. I got one girl’s telephone number at the Delaware Valley Science Fair in 12th Grade. What grade was she in then?
A: 12th
B: 11th
C: 10th
D: 9th
24. As of October 26, 2003 have I called her yet?
A: Yes
B: No
C: Maybe, but I’m too drunk to remember.
25. Is she Jewish?
A: Yes
B: No
(Hint, if you chose A, you better be glad this quiz isn’t your calc final)
26. Which was my favorite science fair?
A: 2003 Pennsylvania Junior Science and Humanities Symposium
B: 2003 Delaware Valley Science Fair
C: 2000 Carver Science Fair
D: 2003 Pennsylvania Junior Academy of Science State Fair
27. Why?
A: It was my best score at a science fair.
B: I got a girl there.
C: Both A & B
28. What movie did I watch after the 2002 Chemistry Olympiad Study Camp final exam?
And
29. How about the 2003 Study Camp?
A: Rush Hour II
B: The Matrix
C: Legally Blonde
D: Spirited Away
30. In what time zone was the picture at the top of this website taken?
A: Eastern, of course
B: Central
C: Mountain
D: Newfoundland
31. What was my favorite “optional” activity at Blue Bell Camp?
A: Basketball
B: Swimming
C: Lacrosse
D: Soccer (‘cause it involves kicking balls)
32. Where was my hotornot picture taken?
A: At a school dance
B: At home
C: On the railway up to Pikes Peak
D: Somewhere in Eastern Iowa
33. What did I get on the SAT
A: 1600
B: 1490
C: 1420
D: 1310
E: You got a 4-digit score?
34. How many times did I take it?
A: zero
B: one
C: two
D: four
35. Which score was higher?
A: verbal
B: math
C: they were both the same
36. Which extended hiking trip at Camp Kabeyun did I actually do?
A: Presidentials
B: Pemi-Francs
C: Mahoosucs
D: Adirondacks
37. What was the second reaction I ever did under Kevin Quinn?
A: SN2 displacement on an allylic substrate
B: SN2 attack of an alkoxide salt that was formed with sodium hydride
C: Birch Reduction
D: Staudinger Reduction followed by hydrolysis
38. What was my yield for synthetic experiment #2 in Chem 36H (condensation of p-tolualdehyde, urea and ethyl acetoacetate)?
A: 15%
B: 37%
C: 68%
D: 86% and the highest in the class biotch
39. When I got a high score on the Southpark pinball machine in Currier Hall at the University of Iowa, what did I put down for my initials?
A: I_S
B: ISS
C: IXS
D: SEX
40. What was my graduating class rank?
A: 1st
B: 4th
C: 6th
D: 17th
41. What is my Physics 211 Section?
A: 13
B: 26
C: 27
D: 28
42. On what calculus topic was my lowest test grade?
A: Limits
B: Applications of Derivatives
C: Basic Integration
D: Trig Substitutions and Partial Fractions
43. What happened on April 7, 2000
A: I forgot to put on deodorant
B: I turned in my abstract for my science project
C: I told a girl that I liked her, who still hounds me for homework answers today.
D: All of the above
44. Which itty-bitty animals did my 9th Grade science fair project involve?
A: Drosophila
B: Diatoms
C: Copepods
D: It involved showing that ice is really frozen water.
45. What did I help my neighbor Dr. Smith make in 2001?
A: Lithium 12-Hydroxystearate
B: Lithium Oleate
C: Lithium Stearate
D: Lithium Palimitate
As of June 26, 2003:
46. Which of the following states have I never been in (flying over doesn’t count)?
A: Missouri
B: North Carolina
C: Ohio
D: Illinois
47. Where was I when I was farthest East?
A: Waterloo, Iowa
B: On a camping trip along the coast of Maine.
C: On a sailing trip across Lake Winnipesaukee in New Hampshire
D: On a hiking trip to Ice Gulch in New Hampshire
48. Where was I when I was farthest South?
A: Charlottesville, Virginia
B: Raleigh, North Carolina
C: Atlanta, Georgia
D: Miami, Florida
49. How high above sea level have I been (not on a plane, and in feet)
A: 1154 feet
B: 5326 feet
C: 7232 feet
D: 14,110 feet
50. Pick the worst dream:
A: The dream in June of 2003 where I was being chased by a bear on Broad Street while getting saved by my chemistry lab mentor, and a girl that I liked in 9th grade passes by talking on a cell phone.
B: The time in December of 10th Grade where I dreamed I was pissing at a urinal, so I took a piss, and woke up realizing I had wet my bed.
C: On my first night at the US Air Force Academy I dreamed there was a forest fire approaching from the east, so I went into the hall and yelled fire. A guy with an Air Force uniform heard me, so looked out my window, but the fire was gone. As punishment for causing a false alarm, he made me jump out of the window (2 stories high) while doing a flip, but I woke up before I hit the ground.
D: The dream in December of 8th Grade that basically represented reality accurately.
Email me for answers.
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