Daily Ramblings
Hey! Welcome to my site. I use it for venting, anonymous writting, posting stories, filling with faves, and fingding help. Enjoy if you like but this site isn't really for you, mostly for me.
p.s. notice I said anonymous writing and that is why I won't be disclosing my name - sorry if you care
This is one of my crappy stories, it's not finished, and it's missing something, email me with comments and suggestions.
Daddy’s Little Girl
Love is a strange and powerful thing. It can save a person and drown another. Sometimes love can even consume a person, and make them do horrible things. That’s what I learned this summer.
My daddy was a good man, although a bit troubled I suppose. He was always loving to his kids, me and my older brother Chris, and to his wife, my mama, but never quiet comfortable around anybody else. Outsiders’ he’d call um, like it was some kind of curse word. Now that I think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him leave the house. That shoulda made me suspicious then, but it didn’t. Guess cause that’s the way it’d always been with my family. Mama, me, and Chris had been the ones who went out and daddy’d stay behind every time to guard the house. Needless to say we never got robbed.
As I got older I started noticin some things. Nothing big, just little things that bugged me. People starin at me and my family, hearin snickering everywhere we went. And sometimes on fathers day or on my daddy’s birthday, I’d buy a present for him or mention him to classmates , both the clerk and my peers looked at me, just looked at me. Now, I didn’t really mind people looking at me, I was use to it, but this was different, they looked at me strange, real strange, like I was crazy or somethin. I didn’t get it then, why they looked at me like that, but now I understand.
In high school I had friends, although I wasn’t that popular. People always seemed afraid of me, never knew why. I always got good grades and was pretty quiet. Teachers seemed surprised by this, every year. I never really gave any of this any thought, just figured people, people everywhere, were weird. Except me and my family of course. My daddy always use to say we were the only sane ones in a world of weirdoes. I loved my daddy, I was his baby girl. I hated the thought of leavin him, but I’d have to one day and I was thinking a lot about it lately, what with college only a year away. Every time I’d mention it to daddy though he’d get all angry and storm off. I remember one time, a while back, I tried to talk to him about it. He was in the kitchen and I was in the dinning room waitin for him to bring our dinner, a couple of sandwiches and sodas. Mama was out with Chris at a teachers conference, he got in trouble again, so we had to fend for ourselves. I didn’t mind too much though, I liked spendin time alone with him and his sandwiches weren’t too bad either.
“So dad, you have momma and Chris right? I mean they’re not going anywhere are they?” I shouted from my seat in the crowded dining room.
“Well, no, of course not,” he answered with a bit of puzzlement imbedded in his voice.
After that he didn’t say anything for a while, neither of us did, but I knew he was waitin for me to explain my sudden interest in my momma and brother’s whereabouts. I was still tryin to figure an answer out when I saw daddy roundin the coroner with two forest green paper plates and two delicious looking turkey sandwiches, mustard spillin over the side. He almost tripped over the stack of papers and the many boxes that crowded this petite room, but amazingly he made it to me, untouched and unconcerned. I always thought it to be amazing how daddy was so graceful and NEVER fell.
“Um…daddy, I thought, since you know your not going to be lonely or anything, that I could umm maybe go to college.”
The rest of it was horrible, like a bad movie that I’ve watch a million times before. He hollered at me for what seem like endless hours, forbid me to go, and stormed out to his room, leaving me in the cramped dinning room alone and crushed. I never tried askin him to go again but I went anyway. I waited about a month, savin up money, looking for a place, and a job near it. The college I picked was Yale. I may seem stupid now, but I wasn‘t, just blind. Then one night, as the house was quiet and all was asleep, I packed my things, pinned a note to my bed, and climbed out the window. Some people who saw me that
night said I looked like a woman on a mission, and in a way I guess I was. This was first time I’d ever defied my daddy, and you know what, it felt great! I was on my own and finding my future! Little did I know that I was gunna find some thing more than just my future.
It had been a month since I left home and I was anxious to see daddy. I may have not understood why he wanted to prevent me from going to college, I may even have been a little angry at him for trying to do so, but I still loved and missed him like crazy. I planned to go home for my daddy’s birthday, which was only about a week ago, and had been talking to my brother about it in secret. My job was great so buying a plane ticket was no problem, my roommates could take care of the house, and my professor said I could make everything up with a ten page report on my family’s history, so I wouldn’t miss a thing. The only problem was my daddy, would he want me there, would he welcome me with open arms or would he lock me out, never to speak to or of me again? I had no idea, but I had to take the chance, just something in me made me. Maybe it was my self conscious, trying to reveal the truth and make me see what was really there.
Chris was waiting for me when the plane landed, and tried to get me to come home first, but I decided staying at a hotel would be the best and safest. Anyway, I had to start on that report I promised my professor. I started writing, words flowing from my mind on to paper, but suddenly stop at a blocking realization. I was writing about when I was first born and then went from there but that was my history, not my family’s. I needed to do research. As I walk down the street on my way to the library, I noticed something strange, yet familiar. Snickering, stares, and whispers all around, I had almost forgot about all this. I never missed it and I didn’t like it now. It seemed to bother me a lot more than it had before. I finally reached the library, but all of it continued the stares, the whispers, everything! I was really getting peeved now ,but I couldn’t let it bother me, I had to get this report done if I was going to see my daddy tomorrow, or try to. I walked proudly and seemingly unfazed by this annoying treatment on to the computers. I started with my mother, and wrote down what I already knew about her on a pad I’d brought with me. She was born in 1960 to a Veterinarian and house wife who gave her the name of Katrina. 18 years later, as soon as Katrina was out of the house, they split. Both only stayed together all those years for Katrina’s benefit, although Katrina has disputed that fact many times. She believes the best thing would have been for them to split sooner, and save her from all the raging fights and ear-splitting screams. Instead of staying together, paralyzed from their fear of society and it’s stiff rules. But Katrina didn’t follow those rules, she wasn’t the June Clever clone as her mother was, she didn’t go from under one mans control to another’s. No, instead she went to college and set out to be a doctor as she had always dreamed.
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