Take The Quiz!!!
So... how much like me are you? For instance, are you egocentric enough to make a stupid quiz like this?
1: You were born in:
a: January or December (1 pt.)
b: between February and October (2 pts.)
c: November (3 pts.)
d: a barn (80 pts.)
2: Your eyes are:
a: blue (like Rik Mayall's) (1 pt.)
b: green (like Jude Law's) (2 pts.)
c: dark hazel (like Hugh Jackman's and, incidentally, mine) (3 pts.)
d: bright, glowing red (666 pts.)
3: You have:
a: between 0 and 1 sibling (1)
b: between 2 and 4 siblings (2)
c: between 5 and 8 siblings (3)
d: between 36 and 42 siblings (so far) (782 pts.)
4: You prefer:
a: Irishmen (1)
b: Englishmen (2)
c: both, plus Scots and Australians (3)
d: you ARE a man (0)
5: Your favourite Python is:
a: John Cleese or Graham Chapman (1)
b: Terry Gilliam or Eric Idle(2)
c: Michael Palin or Terry Jones (3)
d: Steven Irwin's best friend (532)
6: Your favourite Beatle is:
a: John (1)
b: Paul (2)
c: George (3)
d: Ringo (0)
Give yourself an extra 3 points if you prefer Bing Crosby to Bob Hope.
7: You have a career in:
a: mental health/cosmetology (1)
b: academics and religion (2)
c: writing (if you can call it a career) (3)
d: sewer cleaning and massage (13)
Take away 3 points if you bite your fingernails.
8: Fish are:
a: edible (1)
b: crunchy and good with white vinegar (2)
c: funny (3)
d: your best friend (425)
Give yourself an extra 3 points if you are left-handed or ambidextrous.
9: Forty-two is:
a: a number. Duh. (1)
b: an EVEN number. Duh. (2)
c: the answer to life, the universe and everything (3)
d: your intelligence quotient (435)
10: Your favourite food is:
a: salad or some reasonable fascimile thereof (1)
b: mashed potatoes, or the hobbit equivalent (2)
c: burritos (when done correctly) (3)
d: steak tartare with pumpkin sauce (78)
11: Your favourite kind of cake is:
a: chocolate (1)
b: lemon (2)
c: carrot (with cream cheese frosting, mmm-hmm!!!) (3)
d: lemming (41)
Give yourself 3 points if you've ever buried a recently deceased parakeet at eleven o'clock at night in your backyard.
Take away three points if you killed the parakeet yourself.
12: Your favourite hobbit is:
a: Sam and/or Frodo (1)
b: Merry (2)
c: Pippin (by a landslide) (3)
d: Frito (60)
Give yourself 3 points if you like the idea of wearing hats but think you look too stupid in them to pull it off.
13: Your favourite tv show is:
a: Friends (1)
b: Frasier (2)
c: Monty Python's Flying Circus/Eerie, Indiana/ The X-Files (3)
d: Trading Spaces (756)
Give yourself 3 points if you've recognized at least four of the references I've made so far (to hobbits, or Bing Crosby, for instance. You'd be surprised to find how many people think they are one and the same.)
Aaaaaand now!!! for the tallying...
Are you sure you want to know?
Really?
Okay.
7-22 points: You're about unlike me as you can get. You might think about being happy about this. Go, live in peace and hope you never meet Rik Mayall, because you probably won't like him.
23-41 points: You're not, fundamentally, that different from me. I mean, I guess all humans are alike, deep down, and everything, but you probably have more in common with me than you feel comfortable with. If you ever met Rik Mayall, you'd ask him to do the ear trick.
42-55 points: Be afraid, be very afraid. Pack a bag advise your family to head for the hills. You are absolutely dead on. You probably spend a lot of your time making jokes at other people's expense, and if you met Rik Mayall, you'd declare your undying love and he'd hire you as his housekeeper. If you understood what I just said, you're really in trouble.
56 points and up: I don't think I want to know you. Really I don't. You probably wouldn't want to know me, either, but please leave me be. No, just go now! Goodbye!
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