Random Bipolar ADD teen thoughts
WARNING: These are the random thoughts of a young girl who is Bipolar and ADD. she is also highly allergic to banannas... if at any time you become emotionally disturbed while reading this you will understand the thoughts that haunt her every waking minute.
1. HOW can somebody be so angry at the same time be happy ,
how can somebody be in love but hate everyone around them.
how can somebody bealive but at the same time feel the
their own flesh melting off there body from the after math of
a fire explosion caused from anger being burried alive burried
deep the dirt and debris is soaking in to the pores that it
with holds.
2. IM so sick and sad of this world, im so discusted with the redundantness newscasters and radio personalitys spew. they send out messages of hatred. what is around me i cant ridle or run from it is stealing life from me. i feel like im rotting and unravling. and no one understands that being force to listen to this negativity in my state of mind is tourture. my body and brain being ripped to sheds by wild dogs yet in still alive and suffering. awake from dusk to dawn im forced to be of this world my savior is liquor my lust is sex. im a negitive person because i choses to be your a negitive nation because you choose to be.
3.when drive ways drive cars and no knows thier hearts you know its time for your medication. when your the only one that needs professional help but every one else is insane thats when its time 2 commit fornication when your mirror lies when vanity interferes with suicides you know your answer is skin cancer when genuises push over and wyno read bibles your pain starts to desinigrate when hurting yourself feels so good and feeling good hurts so bad to many old ladies cut off all their hair cuz its so thin it makes them cry and wrinkles make them want to die you know someone has lost themself. when time is the only thing you can take and pressure is the only difference it will make you will stop to touch the face of moon and let your blood drizzle down the lipsof the only one you love while the sleep of envied peace the will soon be awakended to only fnd the scarlet blood and thedrained body you left behind.
4. once i was admitted into a day hospital i loved it cuz my parents and i developed a relationship now ive been out a little over a yr and we are back were we started ..... pointless but i learned i was codependant on relationships .... sooo hmm i have not one yet im codependant ...
5. ppl ask me if im depressed.. and im only truely happy when im asleep eating ice cream or with my distant family so no im not depressed what ever the hell that is..
6. romantic love: is a temporary in fatuation that you will fight for and it will knock you on your ass time and time again ,.. but whenyou finally get stablized you are bored or they are bored with you ... what the hell ..
7. i had a best friend for 6 yrs ... she liked every guy that we new and if i had a friend out side of her she would get mad so if i like anyone i was a BAD person ... my psyc says i should stay away from those ppl so i slept with a guy she thought waas hot and she hasnt talked to me since ... problem solved ... oddly enough i miss her..
8. i like this guy we dated over a yr ago then broke up then we dated again for about to months i broke up with him cuz he wanted me to .. i cryed and drank for 8 days strait .. the 9th day i went to pick up some clothes we talked and decided to be just friends ... then we hung out then we kissed alot then we kissed some more .. i like him i m sure he is using me but i dont mind if he does just so he is in my life .. i like him using me ... thats so degrating and discusting though ...
9. glutton for punshiment ... i like to feel you hurt me i like you to hit me and like it when you are forcful i like you to push me around sometimes i even like our sex to be "unfair" but i also like it when we laugh to gether and walk the dog. but i also like pain killers..
10. im not suicidal i wish some one would kiddnap my memory and replace it with rainbows and flowers and precious puppies and kittys that would never grow old ..but thats not going to happy so i would like them to just kill me. and everyones memory of me to beerased so i dont hurt my mom or sisters or any of my family.
11. my mom can be a negative bitch .. but i love her and my dad is sooo absent but i love him .. they are my best friends because
12. im in love with this site because ppl can veiw it and have thier own idea of what i look like .. for the first time i will be judged for my inside and not hit on for my outside..
13. because i have blonde hair ppl take me for a dumb blonde .. so sometimes i for get who i am and act like one ... i am you average good student cheerleader swim team girl yet im this on the inside .. i bet you thought i had black fingernail i was fat andwear dark clothing ... nope im perky and do a good job of hiding my self... i like being liked for looking good but i also wish ppl would like the ugly me the me on the inside but ... ppl in hell want a glass of ice water ......
14. i love to smile but i hate every one i smile at on the inside funny huh?
15. sometimes i throw my food up and sometimes i dont sometimes i drink and sometimes i dont some times i care and sometimes i dont ...... most of the time i want to speed in my car cuz it makes me feel on the edge cuz im an edgy person ...
16. today my body was acting strange my head hurt and i was having hot flashes then i relized i had been listening to talk radio all day .. im not anti war and i am a republican and i think we should bomb the shit out of ppl who bomb us ... they are not born into innocents they are raised to hate us.. they started the war and i cry to know that we cant finish it because we are a sweet nation .. id like to take all the anti war comunist .. oops i mean traders oops i mean ppl and drop them over there and see how the feel when they start to dismember them and refuse them their lattes ... my sister and ex brother in law are over their fighting so those socialist can be antiwar .. if every one was antiwar like the idiots who are islam would rule we wouldnt be able to show our ankles if we were women and we would not have our lattes, spas , tanning bed .. or FREEDOM OF SPEECH!! or freedom to live.... which lets face it this world does suck but i rather be here where it sucks but there is freedom not where we are in concentration camps
rrrandom thoughts of the bipolar
Send E-Mail to: coco373b@hotmail.com
This page created using the webpage creation facilities of Webspawner.
Copyright © 2004 amanda Noonegivesadamn. All Rights Reserved