A Few Poems & Thoughts
This page is always under construction!!!!
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For my Birthfather
I placed flowers at your gravesite.
I hope you saw me there.
I thought I felt you in the breeze,
Now I feel you everywhere.
I've seen your face in pictures
I saw my image in your face.
I wish that I could hold your hand,
But you're in a different place.
I know the day will come in time
When our two souls will meet.
And on that fateful day, Birthdad,
My search will be complete.
With love and respect, your birthdaughter, Michelle
Neil Alexander Pollock died December 18, 1980
Written March 10, 2001
I met Neils' Mom in August of 2001
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TIME
Thinking back to my curious years,
I wonder how I calmed my fears.
A scared soul searching for something more
Asking 'What is it that life has in store?'
Baby steps forward to find the one
Who warms up under the same bright sun.
An address, a number, a birth-mothers' name,
Finally to find out from where I came.
A tearful hug, a long talk, a good-bye.
Questions answered, but I always knew why.
Now, years later, I truly am blessed.
Fears of the unknown laid to rest.
I have found in you a treasure so rare.
A woman like me with many pages to share.
Looking ahead at the years to come,
I am so, so thankful to have found you 'mom'.
I may never say it, hope you know what I mean,
But deep in my heart, it's who you've always been.
This is for my birthmom, Jo-Ann, who I met almost 10 years ago.
Written March 25, 2001
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WAITING
A hot summer day
a bouquet of flowers
The smell of vanilla...
it seemed like hours.
I turned our eyes met
in a heart beat I knew
The memory I'd held onto...
now the woman in you.
Written by Jo-Ann, August 1996
about our first meeting.
Posted with permission.
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MY DAD~FOREVER
Memories of you...
Shoulder rides when my little legs got weak
Rescuing me when my boots were stuck in the snow
Taking me to Disneyland
Laughing at my 'snit face' in Europe
Teaching me to be an outdoorsy person
Trying to teach me to drive
Taking me for my first beer on my 19th birthday
Saving Greg and I when the engine fell off the dinghy
Trips to Sidney Spit
Not throwing Jay off the boat when we told you I was pregnant
Saying you wouldn't be 'one of those grandparents'
and then getting upset because you haven't seen the kids for a while
All the postcards you sent from Europe
Telling me 'these things build character & what doesn't kill you,
makes you stronger'.
Meeting Jo-Ann & listening to me talk about Neil.
Picking me up one sorry Sunday morning.
There is surely a million more,
but it's just a start.
You have always guided me, even when you didn't know it.
You have always supported me, even if you thought it was a mistake.
You are the one true constant in my life....
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I
I sleep to wake
I learn to mistake
I love to hate
I proceed to wait
I start to end
I break to mend
I try to fail
I lose to prevail
I cry to feel
I ache to heal
I trust to lie
I live to die
Written July 5, 1991
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Breathe
Seeing through eyes of fools gold
We race our dreams into the future.
Scared of the truth,
Tired of lying.
But I am knowing of love
Of friendship,
Of beauty.
Think and feel.
Breathe and smile.
Written August 1992
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Untitled
I know what you're thinking,
I'm right inside you're head.
I know what you're dreaming,
I'm the vision in your bed.
I know what you're asking,
I'm the answer to your plea.
I know what you're hearing,
That whispering is me.
And I know what you're feeling,
I'm that shiver down your spine.
Yes, I know what you're thinking
Because those thoughts are mine.
This is my interpretation of what an
addiction says to an addict.
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Grandmas' House
We're going to Grandmas'?
I hope we're there soon.
I doubt I can wait
until late afternoon!
I know what I'll do the minute we're there...
I'll race down the bridge like I'm walking on air.
I'll give her a hug and tell her hello,
Then into the house is where I will go.
Straight to the cupboard stocked-up with treats.
Puddings and cookies, junky-cereals and sweets.
Then down to the basement to find the old chest
That's loaded with costumes; I start to get dressed.
A queen for a minute, a clown for a while.
I just love this old house, I beam with a smile.
Someone's arriving, I'll bet it's her friends.
With banjos and kazoos...the fun never ends.
Can we go for a swim, or is it too late?
'We'll do that tommorrow, it's time that we ate.'
After our supper, we help with the mess.
Cleaning is fun at Grandmas', I guess.
Into the bedroom to get ready for sleep,
The smells so familiar, my rest will be deep.
Suddenly I waken, with little boys of my own
A husband, a mortgage...my youth was a loan.
But these memories of Grams' house are all mine to keep
and my kids are blessed also, with her love to reap.
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Charlotte...My *Forever* Mom
For a long time now,
You have *not* been on my side
to give me support
to give me confidence
to give me pride
For a long time now,
You've been looking *down* on me, saying that
I am selfish
I am insecure
I lack integrity
For a long time now,
you have provided *instability* within our family
full of your anger
full of your regrets
full of your sadness
So much of what I have *not* become
is because of you...
Yet the good that *was* you
is still within me
Whenever you find yourself again
I hope you can take a long, hard look
in the mirror and truly like who *you* see
Written August 2001 after 15 months of not speaking
to my mother
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I Am
I am not the grass
Swaying in the fields;
I am the wind that blows it.
I am not the eagle
flying in the sky;
I am the wings that give it flight.
I am not the sunset
that is a beautiful colour;
I am the colour that makes it beautiful.
I am not the pilot
that flies the plane;
I am the destiny that gives purpose to the pilot
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Feel free to email me if you have any comments on my poems; if you want to talk about adoption; or just to say hi:)
Some quotes I enjoy....
We are, each of us, angels with only one wing and can fly only when embracing one another.
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An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but never break.
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Serenity comes when you trade expectations for acceptance.
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Home is not where you live but where they understand you.
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Relatives happen. Relationships take time and work.
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Send E-Mail to: mahatchis@shaw.caCopyright © 2003 Michelle Hatch. All Rights Reserved