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ETHAN'S PAGE FOR JOKES
Welcome to my site for people who like jokes. If you would like to submit a joke please e-mail me at my e-mail at the bottom of this page.
JOKES:
A duck walks in to a convient store and asks the cashier if he has any grapes. The cashier says no. The duck leaves. He comes back the next day and again asks for grapes. The cashier was beginning to get agitated, but again says no. The duck leaves. He comes back for the third time and asks if the cashier has any grapes. The casheir says no and if you ask again I'll nail your feet to the ground. The duck leaves. He comes back the next day and asks if the casheir has any nails. He says no. Then the duck says good, got any grapes.
Three men are walking throught the dessert. One is carring a jug of water, one is carring a bowl of rice, and one is carring a car door. The first one is asked why he is carring a jug of water and replies, if we get thirsty we can drink it. The second man is asked why he is carring a bowl of rice and replies if we get hungry we can eat it. The third man is asked why he is carring a car door and replies if we get hot we can roll the window down.
Jesus and the devil were arguing over who knew more about computers, so God decides to have a competition on computers. so Jesus and the devil are sitting in front of the screen for hours doing every thing possible, e-mailing, instant messaging, spredsheets, documents searching, researching, when all of a sudden lightning strikes and the power surges and the computers lose power. When they turn back on Jesus calmly prints out all his work while the devil throws a fit because all his work is gone. God simply replies, Jesus saves.
A man was reading the paper when he receives a knock at the door. Upon answering it he discovers a snail on the door step. He calmly uses the paper to flick it off. Five years later he recieves another knock at the door. Upon answering it he sees the same snail who says, what did you do that for!
A man was voluntarily working for a friend of his when he hit his thumb with a hammer. He promptly says, oh f%$*. His friends wife sticks her head in the door and asks what what happened. He loudly replied, I hit my f%$*ing thumb with the f%$*ing hammer. F%$* it. She nervously replies, well if your done be sure to come by for dinner some time reverund.
A man enters hell and the devil gives him a choice of where to stay for all eternity. In the first door everyones standing on their head in this nasty disgusting slime up to their noses. In the second door its the same thing except the slime is up to their necks. In the second door everyone is standing and drinking coffee and chatting except the slime is up to their waste. The man thinks for a minuteand decides to go with door number three. About that same time one of the devils apprentices comes in cracking a whip saying, alright coffee break over, back on your heads.
A passerby noticed a couple of city workers digging holes along the sidewalk.The manwas impressed with their hard work, but he couldn't understand what they were doing.he approached the workers and asked, how come when one of you guys digs a hole, the other immediately fills it back up?one of the workers explained, the third guy who plants the trees is off sick today.
An usher in a theater noticed a man sprawled across three seats.I'm sorry sir, the usher said, but your allowed just one seat.The man didn't budge.Sir, the usher persisted, if you don't move I'm going to have to get the manager.When the man just groaned the infuriated usher marched up the aisle and returned with the manager.All right, shouted the manager, whats your name buddy?Sam, the man moaned.Whered you come from sam, the manager demanded.The man painfully replies, the balcony.
(this one's for you megan)Did you here about a new law passed in west virginia?When a couple gets divorced they're STILL brother and sister.
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