ALIEN LUNCH ONLY THE TRUTH

THE UFO MUSEUM--PO BOX 6056--PORTLAND, OREGON 97228-6056
USA


THE UFO MUSEUM IN PORTLAND OREGON IS THE ONE AND ONLY TRUE
UFO MUSEUM--ALL THE REST ARE FAKES. WE ARE THE ONLY MUSEUM
ON EARTH WITH ACTUAL ALIEN CONTACTS.

THIS WEBSITE IS DEDICATED TO THE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE
TRUTH--BUT DO NOT EXPECT US TO JUST GIVE AWAY THE TRUTH.
THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS. THE ALIENS
HAVE ASKED US NOT TO TELL THE GENERAL PUBLIC EVERYTHING
THAT THEY TELL US--BECAUSE ....THEY PERFER
DISSINFORMATION TO THE TRUTH.

THE UFO MUSEUM IS PRESENTLY LOCATED IN A DEEP TUNNEL UNDER
THE WILLAMETTE RIVER NEAR THE FOOT OF THE FREEMONT BRIDGE
IN PORTLAND, OREGON --ON THE EAST SIDE OF THE RIVER. IT IS
INEXCESSABLE TO ALL BUT
SANTA-CACAPHONISTS AND THOSE WHO KNOW THE ACTUAL CODE WORD:
"NOT ME KNOW NOTHING."

EVEN IF YOU KNOW THE CODE DONT ATTEMPT IT. EVERY THING IN
THIS WEB SITE IS CRYPTOGRAPHY--YOU ONLY THINK IT IS SAYING
WHAT IT SAYS IF YOU CAN READ ENGLISH
YOU WILL NEVER GET THE POINT. SO JUST PRETEND THAT THE
MESSAGE YOU ARE READING IS THE TRUE MESSAGE.
(ONLY OUR MAIL ORDER ITEMS ARE REAL AND AVAILABLE.)

HERE IS THE TRUE NEWS: THE HEAVEN'S GATE CULT IS BACK
--YOU EXPECTED THIS--FIND THEIR NEW SITES ON THE
INTERNET--THE DEPARTED MEMBERS MADE IT TO THEIR DESTINATION
AND HAVE EVOLVED AND RETURNED. THEIR NEW LEADER IS SAID TO
BE A MR. e. NON- HOBBARD--THIS COULD BE GREAT NEWS FOR CULT
FOLLOWERS EVERYWHERE.

OTHER NEWS: THE ALIENS HAVE JUST PRESENTED US WITH PROOF
THAT GRAVITY IS CONVECTION--SOLID STATE CONVECTION--HOW DID
OUR SCIENTISTS MISS THIS FOR 500 YEARS?

THE ALIENS ALSO HAVE TAKEN A PERSONAL INTEREST IN PRESIDENT
BILL CLINTON AND ARE HOPING THAT HE WILL BREED WITH THEM.
THEY HAD THOUGHT THAT PAULA JONES WAS THEIR LAST
HOPE--THEY HAVE A PLAN.

ADDITIONAL NEWS: COSMIC PSYCHIC PREDICITONS FOR THE REST
OF THE CENTURY:

SOMETHING EXTRA-ORDINARY WILL BE FOUND ON MARS--
THE WORLD GOVERNMENTS WILL RACE TO BRING IT BACK--IN
COMPLETE SECRECY.

SOME ONE BY THE NAME OF JOE WILL CHANGE HIS NAME TO BOB AND
THIS WILL RESULT IN A CATASTROPHIC EVENT AT THE DEPARTMENT
OF JUSTICE--DC.

MAIL ORDER ITEMS FROM
THE UFO MUSEUM
PO BOX 6056
PORTLAND, OREGON
97228-6056:

SEND A SASE AND $1.00 FOR FOUR FULL COLOR UFO POSTCARDS
FROM THE UFO MUSEUM.

SEND A SASE AND 25 CENTS FOR A COPY OF COSMIC
PSYCHIC PREDICITIONS.

SEND A SASE AND 25 CENTS FOR A COPY OF DEAD LAWYER
JOKES

SEND A SASE AND $2.00 FOR A PSYCHO-ABDUCTION THERAPY
DEGREE--FULLY ACCREDITED (SEND YOUR NAME FOR THIS)

SEND $15.00 FOR AN OFFICIAL UFO MUSUEM BEEFY T SHIRT
INCLUDING A SET OF POSTCARDS.

SEND $6 FOR A COMPLETE SET OF 40 POSTCARDS--FULL COLOR

SEND $12.00 FOR ONE OF 2 18"X24" COLOR POSTERS SPECIFY IF
YOU WISH VERTICAL OR HORIZONAL.

SEND US MAIL ART ON THE SUBJECT OF UFOS AND RECEIVE
SOMETHING IN RETURN IF WE LIKE IT.

SEND US A DONATION FOR OUR PERMANENT COLLECTION--
AND WE WILL SEND YOU SOMETHING OF SAME VALUE IN RETURN AND
IF WE REALLY LIKE IT WE WILL SEND YOU AN OFFICIAL BOARD OF
DIRECTOR CERTIFICATE.

PLEASE SEND US FINE ART ABOUT ALIENS UFO--FOR OUR PERMANENT
COLLECTIONS.

THANK YOU SINCERELY, LEX LOEB, CURATOR AND DIRECTOR

UFO MUSEUM --PORTLAND, OREGON USA

alienlunch@webtv.net-----e mail

news release 10-22-97 cosmic ray blast coming in exactly
379 days--head for the dark side of the earth for safety we
do not yet know the intensity of this coming blast--but it
may sizzle most of life on earth...on the side of earth it
hits we believe this side of the earth seems to be the
north pole and northern hemisphere--the data came from a
communication from our departed friends at the higher
level...

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