*pRoZaC NaTiOn*
"everything's plastic, we're all going to die sooner or later, so what does it matter"
"How can you hide from what never goes away?"
"Very early in my life it was too late" -Marguerite Duras
"Gradually and then suddenly"
"Waking to go to sleep"
"One morning you wake up afraid to live"
"...it all becomes completely numbing, like so much pounding on a frozen paralyzed limb that bruises but no longer feels"
"people like me like people like you"
"Full of Promise"
"But then I never had to worry about crash landing becuase i never took off"
"It was like sawdust, the unhappiness: it infitrated everything, everything was a problem, everything made her cry - school, homework, boyfriends, the future, the lack of future, the uncertainty of the future, fear of future, fear in general - but it was so hard to say exactly what the problem was in the first place" - The Dead Girl
"On top of feeling sad, I also felt guilty"
"I went home at night and cried for hours because so many people in my life expecting me to be a certain way was too much pressure, as if i'd been held against a wall and interrogated for hours, asked questions i couldn't quite answer any longer"
"I don't care that i don't care, but i do care maybe a little bit about not caring about not caring - but maybe i do feel sory for all the nice people whose efforts are wasted on a waste case like me"
"The shortness of life, i keep saying, makes everything seem pointless when I think about the longness of death"
"...maybe you, but me, i'm already gone"
"I take pleasure in the pain i cause other: my life has become a tearjearker movie, and i'm glad to be having the calculated effect"
"That is all i want in life: for this pain to seem purposeful"
"The have no idea what a bottomless pit of misery i am"
"I will drain them and drown them until they know how little of me there is left. even after i've taken everything they've got to give me becuase i hate them for not knowing"
"i was starting to want to know the worst, i wanted to know how bad it could get"
"but she coudln't stand it when i'd explain that nothing at all was wrong, that it was just a matter of everything"
"we're gonna take it all and throw it all away" -the promise
"depression gave me extreme perspicacity, rather than skin, it was as if only thin guaze bandages to shield me from everything i saw"
"what if only you could catch yourself?"
"imagine only knowing the sun is shinning becuase you feel the ache of its awful heat and not becuase you know the joy of its light. imagine being always in the dark"
"when i think of all the things he did becuase he loved me - what people visit on eachother out of something like love. it's enough for all the world's woe. you don't even need hate to have a perfectly miserable time" - richard bausch
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