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Biography
Toasty Lundqvist is of course widest known as the unimitable second lead vocalist of legendary 80s New Romantics group the Psoriasis Junkies, cherished by one and hall for such hits like Do’nt Piss In The Water Feature and Eileen Your A Grave Disapointment and very most of all Gargling My Porcupine which reached heights of #15 in Hit Parade despite reference books saying otherwise but we can assure you their wrong, OK?
Since after the rest of the band split from Toasty in 1987, Toasty has honed his resonant vocal skills in a series of almost two solo albums featuring Toasty’s ever more plangent hip-hop Al Bowlly vocal voice in a range of songs ranging from Val Doonican to "I Dream Of Gerontius" in Toastys very own melodeon arrangement with live parrots being interfered with, there truly isnt no one like Toasty when it comes to push in the envelopes through his boundarys.
Even at the ripe old age of Sixty Plus Toasty keeps up a gruelling touring schedule singing on no fewer than sometimes eighteen pavement in the course of one single afternoon due to police ovary action.
Young and old, black and white, deaf and less fortunate, theres noone whose immune to the undying magic that is the captive-hating necromancy that is the haunting yet strangely repellent vocal equipment that is the one & only TOASTY.
To catch Toasty in your area why not checkout his touring schedule for 2005 - 2045 inclusive, caution some dates not yet confirmed, no laibility accepted for anything whatsoever.
Scant hours before I wrote the posting above, David Hadley came up with one that’s really strikingly similar. Uncanny, and worth a visit.
A warm welcome (to Toasty’s polluted stream of consciousness) to a brace of recent commenters.
First up, The Humanity Critic, with his refreshingly no-nonsense approach to the subject of homosexuality: ‘I wasn’t so much of a gay rights activist, just a chubby black bastard who liked to beat up assholes whenever I got the chance.’
Next, here’s Spindleshanks, meting out rough justice to junk mailers on the mean streets of Hackney: ‘My voice is beginning to shake in that pathetic tremulous way it does when something emotional and a little bit confrontational is happening. I want it to be over now, but I’m not going back inside with my Pizza menu if it kills me.’
And so say all of us, Madame. À bas les junkeurs! En garde!
SPINDLESHANKS said…
Toasty L - pleased to report no dog shit, and NO JUNK MAIL today. It's a good day.
TOASTY replied…
Glad to hear it, but don’t lower your guard – this is a war of nerves.
CAROLINEM said…
Oh - I had HC on my site too. Must have a thing about barking mad people.
I'll see you at the next gig - I have the 4 kgs of oranges and the HB pencils.
TOASTY replied…
And I have the screaming ab-dabs, so I think we’ve got all we need. Rock on, sistah!
SURLY GIRL said…
i had HC too. A lot of people have had HC judging by the comments on his blog. trawling for readers, methinks. funny tho, so i'll let him off.
DAVID HADLEY said…
You must be one of those voices that speaks to my brain, beguiling me with heroic tales of the mighty Val Doonican in all his beknitweared glory, smiting his enemies mightily as he rode his rocking chair into battle against the dark forces of the evil Cliff Richard and his dastardly Young Generation.
Oh, the humanity!
Oh, the fishcakes!
THE MERKIN said…
Are you free on 13th June 2027? I'll be holding my retirement party then and don't want to leave the entertainment until the last minute.
TOASTY replied…
Retiring at the age of 35? It’s time you young people learned that life is about hard graft, and burning out to the socket, and general gratuitous misery. But I dare say I could be tempted if you can hold out the prospect of a major recording contract. It doesn’t have to be real, just transiently plausible. I don’t ask for much.
David, I deny having ever addressed a word to your brain, though I’ve enjoyed the occasional slanging-match with your pancreas, and your left elbow and I were an ‘item’ for several weeks in 1988, until I discovered it was biologically a warthog.
And Surly Girl, yes, the Humanity Critic is a treasure. I don’t know how I ever managed without him.
SURLY GIRL said…
actually, i've gone off him a bit. his posts are very long indeed, and the commenters are apparently all the same people who comment on waiter rant (how i loathe that blog)..
and among the commenters there's a weird sort of atmosphere, as they all put "hey, thanks for your comment on my blog" and you can almost hear the realisation dawning as everybody realises that everybody else is there for the same reason....he must stay up all night hitting "next blog" and leaving a comment..
and there aren't nearly enough penguins. what's a blog without a penguin or two?
TOASTY replied…
In slavish obedience to your whims, madame, here are more penguins than you could shake a stick at, were you to wish to do such a thing.
I AM JACK said…
Hey, hate to do this but people have been hating on HC a lot lately,
"his posts are very long indeed,"
Geez, how lazy can one get??
"and among the commenters there's a weird sort of atmosphere, as they all put "hey, thanks for your comment on my blog" and you can almost hear the realisation dawning as everybody realises that everybody else is there for the same reason....he must stay up all night hitting "next blog" and leaving a comment.."
If you like what you are reading, why do you give a flying fuck how people got there. Many people, whether at work or at home, read all day and comment. The obvious result of that would be people coming back and saying "thanks for coming by", so your conspiracy theory is just ignorant and at best lazy. Don't be jealous sugar titis, it doesn't become you.
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