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My Night With Radge
Do you love the writings of Irvine Welsh?
Are you interested in modern Scottish literature?
Does the port of Leith have any appeal for you?
Is walking along streets something you ever do?
Can you respond to sensory stimuli?
Are you a human being, or – failing that – at least some sort of carbon-based life form, however mutoid?
If so, you MUST take a TRAINSPOTTING TOUR.
Millions of folk just like you have seen their lives transformed beyond recognition after taking a TRAINSPOTTING TOUR with TIM BELL™.
Leading figures in commerce and the arts will tell you: ‘I owe it all to TIM BELL™ and his TRAINSPOTTING TOURS.’
Did you know that 86% of members of the Bilderberg Group have been on a TRAINSPOTTING TOUR conducted by TIM BELL™?
Or that doctors recommend a minimum of five TRAINSPOTTING TOURS each week to maintain your vitality and libido (but it only works properly if they’re led by TIM BELL™)?
TOASTY LUNDQVIST: SHAMELESSLY PUFFING HIS MATES SINCE 1921.
BETTY said…
Do you have to do that tour down the back of the toilet? Few things could be worse, apart from a week in a static caravan at Sheerness.
THE MERKIN said…
Is there guaranteed to be a ceiling-crawling baby? Now THAT's a tour...
Wasn't Tim Bell Maggie Thatcher's media guru? My, he really has fallen on hard times. A bit like that baby, once the velcro wears down.
PETER said…
Hiya! I'd heard that you and Tim had been chatting "as thick as thieves!"
Tim has some seriously flawed ideas about Leith's history, especially the drug part, in which he is simply wrong. (Unlike him, I lived here, and like Mr Welsh, knew the people.)
But that apart, it's lovely to see you using blog for its main purpose, which is bigging up yer homies.
CAROLINEM said…
Ohhh, it's SO unfair...Betty beat me to it with lav. comment.
Damn.
AIMLESS said…
I am more interested in taking the TAMESPOUTING TOUR, in which I and a large group of other culture vultures visit various Edinburgh pubs and are regaled by the loudly expressed opinions of the drunken locals.
AIMLESS continued (after a pause)…
While it may appear that Toasty has buggered off and forgotten all about this blog and his loyal readers, I would like to correct this misimpression and further, to congratulate Toasty on the birth of a fine, healthy 8 lb. echidna that he carried to term over the past few weeks, during his absence from here. I knew you could do it, Toasty!
SURLY GIRL said (after a further pause)…
toastyyyyyyy.....where are youuuuuuu.....
come on then - bored people at work need you....
THE MERKIN said…
Have you fallen into a parallel universe of Trainspotting characters? Maybe you're blogging with Begbie now....
Come back.
TOASTY replied…
Thank you all very much for your loyalty, and I apologise for wasting two weeks hiding in a rusty oildrum under a slagheap in County Durham, but I was under the impression that Armageddon was occurring, due to some pills I got from a man in a pub who said they would ‘enhance the experience’ but omitted to say which experience he was referring to, drat him.
May I just silence this nasty rumour that I’m not actually married to the father of the fine healthy 8 lb echidna? We enjoyed a whirlwind romance in a hamlet of tin shacks called Walla-walla-woy-woy-kooka-kooka-oolloo (or similar) before sealing our plight, if that’s the expression I want, at Windsor Registry Office, where nothing could ever go wrong, could it?
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