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Equine etiquette
Last night I found yet another horse’s head in my bed. I think I’m right in saying it was the fifty-eighth.
Just in case whoever it is who keeps doing this is reading my blog, I wish to point out that you’re supposed to put the horse’s head in the bed of the person who owns the horse.
It’s no skin off my nose if you’ve chopped the head off somebody else’s horse, is it?
In fact it can feel rather nice to cuddle up to a horse’s head, especially if recently severed and still warm. Like a giant hot water bottle, leaking gently.
So let me spell this out in letters of one syllable: I do not own any horses.
Apart from the ones in the lab, and most of those have the heads of baboons anyway.
AIMLESS said…
This is so ironic, as most of us can no longer even bribe the local butcher shop to sell us a soused hog's face for Maundy Thursday or Marymas, like in the old days, when there'd be a whole pyramid of fine, big hog's heads back on the floor behind the glass case, all looking so peaceful, like they was sleeping and having a nice sort of a dream that made their lips curl up at the corners all smiley and happy.
Do your horses smile at you? Or are they sort of disgruntled looking and sour, like Old Marly before he died and visited Scrooge and all in that, you know, story they show on the telly?
TOASTY replied…
Do my horses smile at me? Don’t know, really. I have this thing about not looking them in the mouth.
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