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Statistically she’s likely to be a leprechaun
Did you know that more than eight million people in Britain whistle the theme tune from It Ain’t Half Hot, Mum throughout job interviews and court appearances? Or that one in three men have been infatuated with a household appliance, most frequently a cordless chive shredder? Or that most adults claim to have stolen five million pounds from Clarence House and escaped on an inflatable brontosaurus? Those are just some of the startling results of a new survey by the Institute of Credulity.
But here’s the one that set me back on my heels: seventy per cent of teenagers secretly worship a giant scouring pad.
Does anyone know how this effect can be reversed? Walking around on my heels is playing merry hell with my digestion, and people keep looking at me oddly, almost as if they thought I was strange in some way.
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